Friday`s Amazing Facts

Egyptians , Indians ands Turks search for sex on Google more than any other nationality. Hitler is the most popular in Germany Austria and Mexico. Nazi in Chile Australia and Britain and in Venezuela David Beckham gets the most hits ( Reuters 17.10)

20 million Britons receive tax credits ( DT)

Two thirds of the worlds people have never seen snow ( Canadian Weather Trivia Calendar 2008)

2600,000 Britons get incapacity benefit


In Britain the mean average weekly wage for foreign born workers is £424 compared with £395 for native born( Times 17.10)

Over 2,000,000 are on income support (DT )

In 2005/6 the City Of London Police Force carried out 6846 stops of pedestrians and vehicles without finding enough evidence to justify a single arrest ( Guardian 31.10.07)

The word trivia means Tri ( Three) via ( roads) and refers to a corner where women would gather to exchange ...trivia*( Me)

The Harrapan civilisation in what is now Pakistan had flushing Toilets in houses linked with drains in 2500BC


China won 63 medals at the 2004 Olympics 32 of them gold . India won one silver at shooting

About 11% of the British are left handed up from 3 % a century ago( Sunday Times 16.9)...SORRY FOR PREVIOUS TYPO

In Britain 11 walkers have dies as a result of cow stampedes in the last ten years ( Mail)

Last year more women than men were ordained in the C of E ( 244 to 234) Guardian

It is legal to kill an Scotsman armed with a bow and arrow in York ( Electro Kevin says ... )

In central London in the late 17th century post was delivered 12 times a day ( Confessions of a Literary hedonist Anne Faidman)


The three most common requests by people planning their own funeral are to be cremated with their pet , to have a mobile in the coffin and to ensure they are dead ( Age concern)

Don`t Count On The ONS

Counting migration





The ONS is less than frank about the contribution of migration to future population growth. Its recent Press release said that 47%of the projected population increase over the next ten years would come from net migration . This is correct as far as it goes but you have to go through a series of footnotes to discover hat the inclusion of migrants children brings that up to 70% in 2031 and 90% in 2051. This is a crucial element of any serious debate .

AF Green Chairman Migration Watch ( Prospect)

You know I don1`t like sounding like some sort of fascist but this has to be dealt with truthfully and truthfully almost no-one here wants this sort of change and this sort of rate.

The Witch Cooper

Evette meets local opposition


Madame Yvette Cooper is the sadistic fiend Herr Brown has chosen for the desecration of England so as to house hordes if immigrants and destroy the sense of community he finds so disgusting. It also forms a specific attack on the South an area he loathes as refusing thus far to accept that he is the Supreme leader of the Nation.
As we well know the instruments of torture whereby local opinion can be ignored are being out in place by the Leader and his harpy acolyte only needs to giggle to send shivers down the spine of any recalcitrant Council.
Most of these 3,000,000 houses will be dumped on Green or brown field sites where there is no infrastructure but also no connection the town they ruin. 750,000 according to Government lies will be Greenfield and a raft of so called “ECO Towns “ which means New Towns of the 60s and 70s with all their soul destroying vacancy. This is largely to accommodate new arrivals and a full million will be housing immigrants not here yet. Labour`s plan to ethnically cleanse the independent South are also behind Madame Coopers chilling simper.. Without anyone having agreed it , before your eyes, the nature of the country is about to change and there is little sign that the lessons of the past have been learned. If the serial incompetence and misunderstanding of the private sector this government has shown is to be a guide we are due for ugliness not seen since the Blitz and not much improved by the low grade vertical slums of the 60s

This section of the Prospect interview I have just perused with clammy terror is sums it up:

“What happens if a local authority decides they just don1t want to play ball “

(This after a lot of guff about local empowerment)

Madame Cooper “ It is true that there are big differences between the political Parties here. The greatest opposition has come from the Conservative controlled authorities . the Conservative SE regional assembly has even argued for cuts in the level of house building which I think is bonkers ..... but ( here there is a trilling laugh that slides down your spine like an ice cube )....It is ultimately in the interests of all councils to work with the planning frame work, because other wise they end up having proposals they turn down overturned on appeal – and its not sensible to build communities ( titter titter) on an ad hoc appeal basis “

Given that all he authorities will be Conservative or at least not Labour this amounts to a bureaucratic declaration of war with the Bitch of the North preparing to leave stalk the land like an avenging demon .


Vive La Resistance

Go For The Cheeky Monkey

Mr Huhne last month said he could support aspects of a Tory plan for "English votes for English laws," where MPs for Scottish seats would effectively be banned from voting on legislation affecting only England.....

An interesting bit on Huhne in the Telegraph today and I felt roused to give the leftier of the Lib Dem suitors a single faint cheer for the above . He has been far more impressive than Clegg who seems a little peevish and pompous in his desperate attempts to down-play the sanity he has hitherto evinced. I am something of a loss to understand what Huhne actually stands for .A sort of statist Libertarianism is the oxymoron that springs to mind .Clog is like Heathite Tory with a some trendy accessories .

What the Fibs really do is ‘Cheeky Monkey Mating Strategy’. Apes usually live in hierarchical groups in which the champs get all the sweet poon tang, top spot on the tree tastiest banana , that sort of thing . This is a good way of passing your genes on , there is another own though . Smaller of immature monkeys hang around looking for unguarded females and when the big boys are asleep scurry over for a quick horizontal jostle before they are noticed .( Honestly this is true ) Libs similarly like to take up quick positions in neglected corners

In cheeky monkey mode the Libs have attempted to look at tax cuts when they were a Cinderella cause ,they are always quick to leap on any local issue and have had some genuinely good ideas on restitution to victims in the courts .They fear the big apes waking up ,which is rather what is happening now. In their furtive way they also hate big immobile questions. This is why on the EU Constitution they advocate a referendum on the whole EU after it is agreed. A rancid subterfuge .That is not what the British were offered or want and relies on the same sort of tactic whereby an escalator takes you into a store but a ‘cliff ‘,takes you out . I doubt they would even dare this, if it were ever going to happen.

So this is my advice to the Lib Dums. Pick the cheekiest monkey. Clegg is a little principled and squared jawed while Huhne seems suitably malleable. I think there is more gap for a groovy left winger with Brown trapped by socially conservative core voters than anyone grappling with progressive meddling and liberal impulses al la Calamity Clegg. It’s a shame for him but then he should not have joined such a silly party.

Are They Men ?

Should anyone doubt that our country is going to the dogs have a look at the rate of crimes against disabled people which has shot up lately. There have been a string of appalling crimes that are difficult to look at let alone conceive of committing for the ordinary man.
Christine Lanski was a fifty year old with a spine deformity. She had a bad fall outside her house and lay dying in the street. Anthony Andrews , 27 emerged from his house and was joined by friends .He first kicked Lakinski and then urinated on her.

Fiona Ann Pilkington 38 had a daughter Francesca Hardwick with learning difficulties . Three weeks ago, following an ongoing campaign of bullying , stone throwing and shouting , she murdered her child and committed suicide by setting fire to the car they were in.

Keith Philpott was tortured to death outside his flat in Teesside because of his learning difficulties in 2006 . Steve Hoskin with similar problems , was targeted by a group who cheated him out of his benefits , dragged him around his bed sit on a dog lead before filling him with 70 pain killers and pushing him off a Railway bridge

He tried to hold on with his finger tips and one of the group stamped on his hands.


The epileptic Kevin Davies was imprisoned for four months beaten starved and burnt before finally being beaten to death and Brett Martin was stripped and beaten so badly that he was unrecognisable .He died in Hospital.


These horrifying crimes take place in the soulless benefits hell holes riddled with drugs where New Labour hide the failure of their progressive religion. People are reduced to near animal states turning on the weakest literally like mad Dogs.They have little purpose , no sense of commonality and shame is long forgotten .The left want more laws , more targets better supervision better funded services watching more carefully. These are the easy things to say and the useless things to do . Community and self respect must be returned to the underclass or there will never be enough social workers to prevent this underside of Britain festering.

For Richer For Poorer

'A woman is suing her husband after she Googled his name - and found out he had won £5m on the lottery. Donna Campbell became suspicious of her man when he kept turning the TV off and disconnecting the telephone, reports the Miami Herald. A postcard about a new home purchase gave the game away. Ms Campbell entered her husband's name and lottery numbers on Google and discovered he was hiding a group $10.2m lottery win' - Ananova.

Speak Proppa

The Oxford BBC guide to pronunciation is a gold mine for those of us who like to point out how much cleverer we are than other people. Here are some that you may well be getting wrong you slobs ...

Tinnitus –tin-IGH-tus
Purcell-PURsul
Medici- MED-itchi
Bejing- BAY-jing ( there is no sounds such as found in 'leisure' in Chinese)

There are lots more questions of stress but I like the common misapprehensions of the way a word is formed in the following :

Restaurateur often Restautanteur
Genealogy often Geneology
Mischievous often Mischievious
Nuclear often Nucular

There is a lesser known phenomenon whereby footballers , when they start scoring upgrade their name . For example Darrius Vass-ul became Dar-IGH-us Va-SEL and even Andy Cole wanted to be called Andrew

The Knicker Sniffer Is Famous

Separated at birth ?

I saw Alex Hilton , aka Recess Monkey in the Standard last night . Jeeez but he`s an ugly bugger. He has been sniffing around Nadine Dorries` Daighter`s face book for things he can use and having located the word “ Nigger “ used somewhere by a friend announced with triumph that this is evidence of ..Something or other . Who cares . Nadine `s daughter looks gorgeous by the way and stalking her like this is pretty low even for a man who is slithering upwards in the New Labour Establishment.Hilton is the typical New Labour parasite currently doing , not much , for a Labour MP. Which one I wonder , I`d like to know .


Looks like there is an opportunity for him in Panto if the grovelling and knickler sniffing doesn`t work out . Great New Labour Heros of our time . What a tawdry little prat ,

Call My Bluff

Now for a quick game of spot the outrageous fiction the contenders are below and ONLY ONE one of them is a bluff. The rest ARE TRUE

Having announced that in the UK we had a 5% share of sub prime exposure , whatever that means , after some Lib Dem badgering , Darling , that exemplar of New Labour competence , was forced to admit that in the UK there is no definition of Sub Prime. Despite misleading the house, no apology has been offered.

The Government plan to cut £300,000,000 from the DEFRA budget despite three livestock diseases having ravaged the farming community this year

A list candidate of last year ,Simon Walker , is the PR chappy for Private Equity ( the Venture Capital association) . He was seconded to John Major’s disastrous GE campaign , . He presided over the BA PR disaster of the ulticoloured tail fins and he was responsible for “ My Husband is Not Gay” after the Countess of Wessex was hood winked by the NOTW fake sheik and he arranged an exclusive interview to buy them off.

( PS Good news Tory associations unanimously rejected him)


The Multimillion pound waste of time the Standards Board For England let off a BNP Councillor for sending £5 notes in Christmas cards to voters . This was ok because it was deemed a worthy cause and not declarable. (Councillor Cromie ) .


The SBE will take no action against BNP Councillor Auty who sang a “racist folk song” outside the Constituency Office of Dewsbury’s Labour MP Shahid Malik.Auty sang four verses concerning Mosques ,Kebabs , Curry houses drug dealing and paedophilia but gets off on the ‘Ken’ defence of not being in his role as a Councillor at the time

Mayor Ken Livingstone has spent public money on whitewashing Dr. Qaradwi`s whose own web site announces that cruel punishment may be needed for homosexuality to keep Islam “Clear of perverted elements “

Prince Phillip and The Queen have matching bathrobes inscribed ‘is and ERs

550% is the rise in spending on Management Consultants since 2001 as compared to 65% in staffing numbers of security services

Current estimate of the cost of the Olympics £9.3 billion and rising

The Ghost Of Christmas Past (2004 in fact)

“Secretary of State for Culture, Tessa Jowell, issued , in 2004 ,a stern warning to employers, urging them to make sure their female staff do not injure themselves at office parties by table dancing on desks or photocopying parts of their body. Mrs Jowell, implored managers not to put up mistletoe as it is known to incite sexual misconduct and binge drinking, before going on to alert women to the dangers of wearing microskirts and skimpy tops to the Christmas office party.
"If you must hold an office party do keep a close eye on those who drink," she warned ominously. "Lager makes some women lose their knickers. The party will be completely spoiled if it ends up in unwanted pregnancies or a nasty, itchy rash. I'm as full of the Christmas spirit as the next man or woman.But the office is not the place to let your hair down, or indeed, your knickers."

Those were the days .We can be quite sure that with that spirit of Falstaffian jollity Brown now at the helm that there will no such warnings this year. This year we will be lucky to get a ‘seasonal gift giving’ at all. Those in need of Christmas cheer are Northern Rock small investors and tax payers who thanks to Hain`s pusillanimous fudge on welfare reform will continue to hand our endless mince pies to those to fat , stressed and damn lazy to work .. £12.5 billion last year went on incapacity benefits and the feeble new tests will not even apply to wasters already on the state drip. 50,000 of them are alcoholics believe it or not so someone is enjoying themselves .

I disagree with Jowell, of course , I think for hard working tax payer like me there is a positive duty upon women of the world to get a bit saucy after a beaker too many of punch. We need cheering up.

Mistletoe and ‘Whine’

Frank Lampard a true gent

GMTV is in the news of late after Gordon, “ The New Politics “, Brown`s attempt to fast track Mirror collumnist and PC veggie Fiona Phillips into the House of Lords, as a government adviser. Whether she would want to pay cut from her stratospheric £400,000 is questionable, and why bother when it is clearly yet another spin cycle from the Brown ministry of truth. Kate Garroway has been irritatingly in my eye-line of late .The worst dancer in ‘strictly’ she was voted through on the back of her profile . That profile is considerable with 46% of all housewives and children tuning to GMTV in a given month and a regular rating of 4,500,000.
Something I have noticed recently is that although the BBC is rightly attacked for its political bias ITV and the old licence holders are , if anything , even worse. Its down the food chain but Kate Garroways interview with David Cameron was a disgrace in which she was rude and aggressive in stark contrast to the mewing sycophancy displayed to Flash Brown. We know La Garroways is married to professional tosser Derek( I know everyone ) ,Draper , busily trying to ingratiate himself with the new ruling elite no doubt .It begins to look as if GMTV is a vipers nest of progressive poison.
They had better be careful. Their audience is socially conservative and will not take kindly to being hoodwinked by a clandestine agenda.

Garroway has previous in Islington trying to get an extension through without the proper planning permission . She turned up at the Townhall to shout something like,” I `m famous give me what I want.” She lives in the same gorgeous plutocratic Georgian enclave as our beloved Labour MP Emily Thornberry
In many ways its easier for the government to cooperate with favoured large scale corporations than to be actually on the line with Nationalised Industries . This is why despite the usual Weimarish bleating from the Lib Dems Northern Rock will not be nationalised. It would stand there directly linked the government and its record of misrule.Avoiding this has been the central and only motive behind the gamble they have chosen to take with our money . £1300 per tax payers about £2500 per household .

Christmas Time Mistletoe and ‘Whine’

The first few tit bits of Christmas cheer have started to pop through the media ether. The delightful charity cards you will yield as little a 4% to charity . Harrods was named as the top scrooge last year with John Lewis and Selfridges also selling cards that gave less than 10% to charity. I have mixed views about Charities but I am quite clear that the entire system has been debased by corruption and misuse by the government for generalist campaigning . Charity works best when it is direct and tangible .On the front page of our local paper Frank Lampard is pictured with adorable little Emma Roberts a five year battling cystic fibrosis . It was organised by Starlight a charity which gives terminally or life threatened children the day of their lives . Frank was by all accounts magnificent , spending time with Emma over lunch and promising to send her box tickets where she will meet his two daughters .

Well done Frank. The first sportsman I can think of to admit he is a Conservative , a fine midfielder and a great chap.....unfortunately I can`t see a starting pace for him in the England set up personally but that’s beside the point .


Who is on the Naughty List

So the yule message from Newmania is be very careful about which charity you support over the festive period. Continue to boo Chelsea in the knowledge there are more important things than sport , and watch out for bias on GMTV .

Be Good

'The Sunni Side Of Tikrit '

'The Sunni Side Of Tikrit ' ,was an article in the Spectator about progress in Iraq which , like a recent Prospect article argues that all is nothing like as gloomy as we have been told .
I just loved the title though. The other version is that Iraq is like the weather in Manchester . Occasionally Sunni but usually Shiite

I was horrified to see that children’s books are being bowdlerised of Health and Safety sensitive material , by terrified Publishers .So says children’s writer and illustrator Lindsey Gardiner. I think I would complain about the outrageous misinformation fed to unsuspecting young minds more than the incipient hazard danger of a Dragon cooking marshmallows . In Harry Potter`s adventures Ginger haired people are consistently shown as having two friends and sometimes more . Magical alternative realities I will accept , but that is stretching plausibility beyond breaking point.

PS I see that even Saintly Mr.Cassilis is featuring a gag. He has a story that a father Christmas in Australia has been reprimended for using the phrase Ho Ho Ho as potentially insulting to women . Ha ha ha has been suggested as a replacemnent.

The Mystery of Popularity

Over the weekend the chit chat was all about the astonishing reversal in Mr. Brown`s fortunes. In a U-Gov poll his personal net approval rating was 59 % a month ago now it languishes at 33%, with 44% saying he is doing badly. As someone pointed out on Andrew Marr, this volcanic instability is unmatched since the Falklands and the peculiar thing is that nothing much has actually happened to explain it . There have been floods and workaday calamities, but Brown solidly Wellington booted played well. The ghost election seemed to tip the balance and now there are cracks in the administration large enough to turn into a Tate “Installation”. Jaqui Smith , has gone from evincing Delia Smith-ish commonsense to not waving but drowning. Understandably perhaps she has appeared at sea on extending 28 days detention .

The most damaging rift is that demonstrated by David Milliband`s public oath of fealty .Pinocchio wanted to be a ‘real boy’, and took offence at having his speeches edited by Uncle Brown. Rumours that the close knit brown guerrilla insurgents are unable to make the transition from to ministers abound. Balls , the wartime consigliere , can`t leave the Brown court to its new “officials “.

The truth is that it was more Brown's Gravity defying popularity that was the mystery.Rubbing its eyes the nation only needed a reminder or two to notice the government the detested was in fact, his. One thing that does not help Flash is that he seems to lack that likeability , so important to the English.. At PMQ`s his naked rage has done much to put middle England off

Staying popular , especially for the long haul is a mysterious business and few have the ingredients. Brown could do worse than to study the career of Bruce Forsyth. From appearing at the Palladium in the 5O s through his high point of entertainment gold on the Generation Game he has been the maestro of family friendly light entertainment . As I sat with my little son watching” Strictly” it occurred to me that this man has now entertained generations of families throughout the country and in his 80s he is as much cherished a national institution as any I can think of. By the way, he hasn’t done too badly for company either , the woman on his arm . Thats Miss World that is.

I daresay it is not ‘clever’ but Shakespeare, about to be done , rather pointlessly , again by the BBC , was sneered at thy the University wits. Not all cleverness advertises itself so immediately .



Hurrah for Bruce Forsyth, and hurrah for us that we would rather be stuck in a lift with someone who makes us smile than with someone who wants to rule the world . Hurrah incidentally for old people in general who are a repository of experience too often treated with contempt in our youth obsessed society One of the things I have loved about political engagement has been the opportunity to get out of the rut of speaking only to my contemporaries.