Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Ghost Of Christmas Past (2004 in fact)

“Secretary of State for Culture, Tessa Jowell, issued , in 2004 ,a stern warning to employers, urging them to make sure their female staff do not injure themselves at office parties by table dancing on desks or photocopying parts of their body. Mrs Jowell, implored managers not to put up mistletoe as it is known to incite sexual misconduct and binge drinking, before going on to alert women to the dangers of wearing microskirts and skimpy tops to the Christmas office party.
"If you must hold an office party do keep a close eye on those who drink," she warned ominously. "Lager makes some women lose their knickers. The party will be completely spoiled if it ends up in unwanted pregnancies or a nasty, itchy rash. I'm as full of the Christmas spirit as the next man or woman.But the office is not the place to let your hair down, or indeed, your knickers."

Those were the days .We can be quite sure that with that spirit of Falstaffian jollity Brown now at the helm that there will no such warnings this year. This year we will be lucky to get a ‘seasonal gift giving’ at all. Those in need of Christmas cheer are Northern Rock small investors and tax payers who thanks to Hain`s pusillanimous fudge on welfare reform will continue to hand our endless mince pies to those to fat , stressed and damn lazy to work .. £12.5 billion last year went on incapacity benefits and the feeble new tests will not even apply to wasters already on the state drip. 50,000 of them are alcoholics believe it or not so someone is enjoying themselves .

I disagree with Jowell, of course , I think for hard working tax payer like me there is a positive duty upon women of the world to get a bit saucy after a beaker too many of punch. We need cheering up.


Anonymous said...

It wasn't just Christmas parties the nulab despots were trying to do away with either, n, I recall the miserable wretches trying to do away with Christmas altogether!

I've always believed that PM Scrooge was behind that dastardly attack on our traditional feast of the year too. All the more money to tax from us if we don't blow it on Christmas cheer - and all the more spoils for mean spirited, nasty, greedy PM Scrooge to stuff in his own coffers.


Auntie Flo - currently bereft of home pc while it's in for a service.

Ed said...

I agree it's ridiculous of HMG to try and get involved in every detail of our lives. We are adults we can make our own decisions!

I think you are being a little bit simplistic on the welfare reform bit though.... Maybe you are being controversial to spark a debate!

Newmania said...

Flo I feel your pain I am suffering horribly wating for home Broadband . There was a little discussion about you a couple of posts ago actually

Daisy said...

it said nothing of the women who don't wear knickers to work on a daily basis...are they now going to stop that as well...is there no fun at the work station anymore...i knew some guys who would live for a little peep show at the water cooler (they kept putting the cups lower...sad men they were)

Newmania said...

I think you are being a little bit simplistic on the welfare reform bit though

Hyperbole has been employed. I am thinking , with Cameron , I gather , about the applicability of the US model Ed

Philipa said...

Sorry to hear you are PC free at the mo Flo :-(

Agree with you on the xmas front; Bah Humbug Broon hssss

We're pretty big on Christmas in our household. I used to go out (b4 children) with our local silver band and shake a tin whilst they played carols. There was a well trod route and people would wait for the band and herd us all into their house and ply us with mulled wine and mince pies. we would all sing and wish each other joy. It was such a happy time :-)

Newmania said...

Good for you P ....Winterval is not enough

Milf Gone Wild said...

Lager makes some women lose their knickers...ha ha
too right! that's why I usually avoid Christmas parties. I've had one or two unfortunate gropes while drunk at the christmas shindig and lived to regret them until at least February.

Newmania said...

Tsk tsk MILF, nothing to regret about it . festive cheer

True Blue said...

At the Stockbroking firm where I worked, many years ago, a Senior Secretary got absolutely "ratted" at the Xmas party and was unceremoniously de-knickered and, dare I say it, "bonked" on the Senior Partner`s magnificent, leather topped mahogony desk. The perpetrator of this carnal sin was non other than the Senior Partner`s Youngest son!
Funniest thing is, that the lady in question lives around the corner from my home and is the Pillar of Society locally, involved in the Church and charitable works. I don`t know if she aware that I know of her little indiscretion, she never engages in conversation, always bids me the time of day, then marches quickly on, dragging her aging Labrador Dog behind her.
She never returned to work after the Xmas break and the "thrusting" youngest son is now the Senior Partner of the said firm !
I would love to stop her and mention "The Firm" and gauge her reaction, suppose that would be rather mean, but the sense of devilment in me tells me I must.
Will let you know Newms when I do !

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Hello, Mr N. What a spoilsport Tessa was and what a Scrooge Brown is!

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