'A driving instructor had a 12-inch carrot in his trousers when he gave a woman a lesson, a court was told yesterday. Bespectacled Stephen Cooney, 51, put the pupil's hand on his groin to pretend that he had an erection - then took the carrot out.
'Rod Hunt, prosecuting, told Teesside Crown Court: "When you go to a driving instructor you may expect he would carry a copy of the Highway Code. You would not expect that in the glovebox of his car he had photographs of him naked, close-ups of him holding his penis and close-ups of his penis. And you would not expect a driving instructor to drive around with a 12-inch carrot down his trousers pretending he had an erection...
'"He had placed a carrot in his trouser pocket as a practical joke and he pretended he had an erection as her driving was so good"'
'Mr Cooney told the court that other nude photographs found by police in the glovebox of his Vauxhall Corsa were "practice" pictures. He had received a digital camera for his 50th birthday from his partner last October and took close-up snaps of his penis to test it out.
'"I was trying close-up photography," he told the jury. "Once you have taken the photos you analyse them not so much for the subject, but the quality."
'Mr Cooney admitted putting a carrot in his pocket and telling his pupil her perfectly-executed manoeuvre had given him an erection, but said he did not make her touch him after pointing out the bulge' - The Northern Echo.
Sussex Countryside under attack
Hazel Blears claims that fears for the desecration of the countryside by rapacious developers to house cheap foreign Labour, are over stated .“ Only 10% of Britain is urban” she squeaks in her irritating 'Orville' way.Given the character of vast swathes of the country, and the disproportionate crowding in the South East, that hardly tells the story, but in any case 10% is a lot .
Brown`s re-announcement of measures to squeeze another 3 million houses onto irreplaceable green belt land will appear to be helping the young to afford homes . It will not as long as demand is inflated by inward migration.Actually the indigenous people of this country are replacing themselves at about 1.3 . The main reason for this implosion is two incomes being required to afford the mortgage . Children are delayed . There are now more first time mothers between 30 and 34 than between 25 and 29, with insufficient obstetricians and gynaecologists for the ensuing complications. Obstetric haemorrhage is a new plague and while this is partly a valid choice for women it is also one forced on them by delayed adulthood. Clearly without the continued influx of large family immigrants this problem would soon have corrected itself
Labour`s response is feeble .They will not have an overall annual limit because they know they will miss it and they are terrified of the truth becoming publicly available .
Many people who have thought those raising alarms on immigration were somehow ‘nasty’ but they will not feel the same way when the green land in their back yard is turned over to poorly planned 21st century slums . Of the 3,000,000 new homes the need for which is created by past immigration 1,000,000 will be inhabited by newbies yet to arrive . We are in an insane vicious carousel creating a real environmental disaster as well as a cultural fracturing we will not recover from
The National Trust, with more members than all the Parties put together is planning to use its money to try to stave off the government by buying up lannd . The charities commission will be used against it as it will ,perforce, be adopting a political stance . Local people everywhere , many of whom have assume they were Liberals, will be aghast at the plans to bulldoze their county and their Community into history . The National trust reflects the real wishes of the people better than the Labour Party
The proposed Home and Communities agency is designed to assist the process whereby planning decision are taken centrally and local objections can be overridden. Even building organisation warn that past slum creating mistakes are likely to be repeated with no infra-structure to support these living machines. The knock on problems for carbon emissions, and any sort of environmental policy are obvious . Population is always the Elephant in the tea room for environmentalists deflating , as it does , their sense of their own Saintliness
For this government, the living machine will be re-configured to its satisfaction. We must rage against the machine .The destruction of the country must be resisted locally as well as nationally . I intend to play my part and anyone who does not is .....“ Letting down future generations “( A Government Source )
PS I accept that immigration and indeed all free movement is a good thing but the rate is now well over four times what it was in 1997. Far too fast unless your only interest is in cheap and docile Labour for big business.
I have altered my blog to reflect the famous association of my new Town,Lewes ,with fireworks.It may be a bit busy , I `ll think about it . Meanwhile I have illustrated this spanking newness not with something denoting the 'new' but .......( yuk yuk)Here are a couple of funny stories .
Dumb Britain
'A lottery scratchcard has been withdrawn from sale by Camelot - because players couldn't understand it. ..players failed to grasp whether or not they had won. To qualify for a prize, users had to scratch away a window to reveal a temperature lower than the figure displayed on each card. As the game had a winter theme, the temperature was usually below freezing.... comparing negative numbers proved too difficult for some Camelot received dozens of complaints on the first day from players who could not understand how, for example, -5 is higher than -6.
'Tina Farrell, from Levenshulme, called Camelot after failing to win with several cards: "I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it' - The Manchester Evening News.
Not Cricket....(inevitably )
'A batsman was shot by a fielder. A row between the players allegedly led to batsman Francis Singh threatening to hit Devan Bascom. As Singh, 36, raised his bat at Bascom, 37, the fielder pulled out a handgun and shot him in the stomach, it was said. Put police in Orlando, Florida, say Bascom will not be charged. Sgt Spike Hoskins said: "He was defending himself from an attack with a bat and has a concealed weapons permit." -
The Daily Star. The message is clear; if your paperwork is in order, you can shoot who you like. This may be England's only chance in the Ashes.
In the New Statesman editorial today there is a shrill complaint that members of the Commons Select Committee on Science and Technology , considering questions of foetal viability has impostors in its midst. These impostors are six ”medical experts “( their inverted commas ), with undeclared affiliations to the Christian medical Fellowship which has an opposition to abortion. The editor goes on....
“Expect more moral prejudices masquerading as science in the coming weeks when the human tissue and Embryos Bill is introduced . More distortions about the escalating number of abortions ...”, and so on . Needless top say there is no single mention of the unborn person in the two densely argued columns of spleen.
This was dealt with in the blogasphere a few days ago I think when Nadine Norris was on the front page of the Telegraph for her principled stand against what she sees as the biased presence of the BMA and the disinformation propagated on the subject of viability. It is a slightly different angle that intrigued me today .The readiness of the left , when it suits them, to consider scientific evidence worthless when the givers of it do not happen to share their views.
I have a certain amount of sympathy for this point of view. Al Gores “Inconvenient Truth “ is currently being foisted on the school population as incontrovertible fact . As we know there are some inaccuracies in it, but that is not the main problem .
The most telling piece of evidence as local Lewes Greeny had was that of a 10% sample of Environmental publications every single peer reviewed scientific journal agreed that we are on a gas mark 5 and only a about 50 % of the general media agreed.
This would show that the Nobel prize winning Gore was to be trusted and not the media . Well as a mixed race family we are less trusting of Nobel prize winners than my towns-woman . Watson of double helix fame was recently opining that Black people were all stupid with a Nobel prize a book out and a living to make He strikes me as not entirely dissimilar to Gore .
More importantly the scientific community are overwhelmingly funded by the state if not the super-state all of who have a vested in interest in a fake emergency as justifying their power grab at all levels . Their careers are not made by publishing “ Small Change Who cares “ articles and should anyone doubt scientists say what they are paid to read the work of epidemiologists for the Tobacco in retrospect. In any case supporting the general view that there is a man made component to global warming means almost nothing. It is also true that excessive Hydrous dioxide to the head has resulted in several deaths.
I doubt we will be banning water as a result.
Scientists are not outside politics and scientific method is not neutral. Furthermore almost tautological findings can be mis-used out of context by those who do have a political axe to grind. What they say about the environment is no more than evidence to be carefully sifted and treated with great suspicion. They have an undeclared interest.
We must recognise that we have a great inheritance in our possession,
which represents the prolonged achievement of the centuries;
that there is not one of our simple uncounted rights today
for which better men than we are have not died on the scaffold or the battlefield.
We have not only a great treasure; we have a great cause.
Are we taking every measure within our power to defend that cause?"
(Winston Churchill Paris September 1936).
from Enoch Powell: Speech, 1961.
(Stolen from hatfield Girl)
Continuing in half baked blogging mode , I went to the Firework display at Lewes last night or rather I arrived in the middle of it unable to get home from the station the entire Town having been turned over to a sort of English festival of hellfire . It was quite impossible to get through the masses all out for the parade and the , some 60,000 in the town with thousands of Policemen drafted in for the night . The march started at the War memorial with the Last post and the first firework spelling “Their finest hour”. Then came the effigies of the gunpowder plotters to be ritually burned later with the Pope . With huge explosions shattering the evening calm , girls dressed in their revealing carnival wear and the drink starting to flow it was a far more primal experience than I anticipated. One felt human sacrifice might begin at any moment .Be-suited and with an inappropriate foldy bike my place in the Whicker man seemed assured.
I was struck at the way the entire town was able to cooperate in such celebration. Young people showing their wares to eachother families clucking and oldsters with twinkling eyes . But then , I was also struck by the fact that there were white people working on the check out in Tescos everyone speaks English. and the schools work. This place still has a cohesion about it that is entirely lost to London and much of the country. You see it in the open handed generosity of the young men who are more like squaddies than gangsters , gruff sometimes but good hearted and loyal to their own. A world away from the venomous glares of the single parent welfare ferals in Islington. You feel it in the way your neighbours cluster round . For example last night my young son became frightened and had to be taken home. Our neighbours, who we met days ago, immediately offered to accompany them back . Stuck on the other side of the crowd I am eternally grateful . People in the shops actually want to talk to you and there is a sense that we all have far more in common than that which divides us.
This sense of a community at one with itself climaxes with the great civic festival of fire when the numerous societies compete for the best float and the best show. Here the Coucil has to get its Parking meters out of the way so the people can move freely .
Norman Baker the unpleasant and toad like Liberal MP is embarrassed at the way it celebrates our military heritage and unashamedly casts out the foreign and the strange. The sight of men dressed as protestant Vicars wielding fiery torches against the scourge of Popery may be a little dated but in some ways it is decidedly contemporary. Gordon Brown and his demonic Labour cohorts by their immigration policy and plans to sell the country to Europe have achieved what Phillip of Spain Napoleon and Hitler could never do .Enslaved the free Englishmen and women people whose way of life is in mortal danger.
PS This coherent ethnicity I am delighted with , obviously has nothing to do with race depite the Tescos comment above.Mrs N comes from Bermondsey , not Africa.It is the rate of change and the worsening fractures between people that concerns me. "We" cannot agree or disagree meaningfully unless there is a "we" in the first place. Inclusion and welcome for all those who love this country !
As coincidences go its not quite up there with Rose and Fred West meeting at the office Party..(“....really you too ...?”) but its still not bad . I walked out into the Farmers market in my new provincial paradise and ran straight into the Conservative Candidate for the area set to attack the fat Fraud Norman Baker , the sitting Lib Dem. His name is Jason Sugarman and he seemed like a thoroughly good sort .I will be playing a full part in combating the dastardly forces of Progressive hypocrisy the moment we have finished un packing.
Coming from Islington I will be able to remind them that their problems “Dog Poo and stray trolleys” , are nothing compared to gangland killings , terrifying estates and social atomisation.. There is a great deal about Lewes worth conserving , in particular from the Labour and Liberal support for mass immigration mostly onto their doorstep
It promises to be plenty of fun bating the local, hot house flower, Liberals . There are plenty of then about which you can tell by the home made soup and clothing shops as well as artists and assorted crustys littering the place up. I am going to watch the world famous Pope burning ceremony tonight by which the citizens of Lewes celebrate their heritage as freeborn Englishmen.
Meanwhile getting broad band, a working washing machine and a new season ticket are occupying my mental life.
Opening boxes
Our son’s baby picture mug,
So faded only I would know
What it had been..
A Photograph of my first wife.
The memories peel out
In curls like pimpled skin from Oranges
Or Church bells falling..
Into the quiet, dust of the loft.
Then the many venomed coils of mambas for
The DVD, will we ever See Sky
Again “My sweet “ ? I hiss
Just now,
Autumn leaves in flame
Quivered Gold along the Brighton Road,
When we triumphed to our home.
But now we carry boxes out.
Cheerful birds mock the metal Owl
On our neighbours aerial,
Our pile of, soon to be disposed, of tat,
Seems to amuse them too.
They fly up like wishes
When I drive the boxes out,
Around a turn, ..
A Huge Sky stretches over the world,
High Downs gallop Sea-ward
And our Tomorrows
Will be opened
Soon
