Great Excuses

'A US photographer has been fired for urinating in a cemetery while covering the funeral of a soldier killed in Iraq. Gerry Edwards was covering the funeral of Sgt James Musack, 23, of Riverside, Iowa, when he urinated in the cemetery while waiting for the procession to arrive. At a recent hearing for unemployment benefits, he testified he was unable to leave the cemetery to urinate for fear of missing the funeral procession. "I feel like I did nothing wrong except take care of business," Edwards said. "If I went in my pants, that would be really unprofessional. If anybody saw me, you know, walking around - it would have froze. So I'd have icy urine on my pants"'

- The Des Moines Register.


Once again Newmania is first with the vital breaking news ...well I`ve done one serious one today

Bless..

Bottles of drinkable Holy Water are being sold in the US carrying the following warning

"If you are a sinner or evil in nature , this product may cause burning or rashes"

Bless...

BLAIR DEAD !

The teacher asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the
discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked
the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives
on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and
kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'" "No," said Blair, "that would
be an
accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty
children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be
a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the Prime Minister "That's
what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Tony searched
the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of
tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...
In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and Mrs
Blair was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to
smithereens,
that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Tony Blair. "That's right. And can you tell
me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly
wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a fucking
accident either."


Sorry its a gag I missed out the words " should be "

Moose Loose About This Hoose

From MSN.com:

'A helicopter is not necessarily a match for an angry moose.

'Instead of lying down after being shot with a tranquilizer dart, a moose charged a hovering helicopter used by a wildlife biologist, damaging the aircraft's tail rotor and forcing it to the ground.

'Neither the pilot nor the biologist was injured, but the moose was maimed by the spinning rotor and had to be euthanized, wildlife officials said.'

Despite MSN's claim that 'A helicopter is not necessarily a match for an angry moose', I think the moose corpse points to at least a score draw.

RAGE RAGE RAGE

(A single mother contemplates the benefits system)


Welfare to work

The Freud Report and the country’s reaction to it is , in my opinion the most important political straw on the wind . It was always obvious that Brown, whose coronation is secure , would contest the middle ground, and this must mean revisiting welfare reform
The magnificently bitter Mr. Field popped up in the DT yesterday to say that labour were yet to grasp the issue , it was all carrot and no stick. . Lots of help is available to ,‘apply’, for jobs. New haircuts, new suits, and so on , but there was nothing to make sure that you actually worked . This will become another classic Labour non -solution .They have over legislated , and over taxed, but instead of removing the some of the burden , they introduce further checks and incentives ,to enforce good behaviour . Shall we all shout together .It does not work!
Sue Carrol ,( Mirror), unearthed this quote from a website this morning and it shows the scale of the problem .

A single mother writes….

“ Work used to the escalator out of poverty, but I `m a single mother with three children who was offered a brand new council house. I get choice of kitchen units , fitted bathroom , newly plastered walls, landscaped garden – on top of income support payments , free school dinners , no university fees. .and my house will be offered to me later under a right to buy scheme” …that would be at half price.

The last point is the crucial one. Politicians, including David Cameron, floating a, rent to Mortgage idea, treat welfare claimants as if they were needy and stupid . For the most part they are neither. Not only are the skilful and subverting the system, but they make long terms strategic choices ,based on the possibility of further welfare and tax payer largesse.One of the most important is to become a single mother in the first place.
Single mothers ,like widows, and simply good people, often do a good job , this is not the point ( Alan Johnson ). The point is to decide which policy structure gives children the best hope of the best start in life .
In the words of Al Gore , here are some “ Inconvenient truths “ ( except theses ones are true ).
Britain has 1.9 million lone parent households- an increase of more than 200,000 since Labour came to power- and the highest teenage birth-rate in Europe. An office of national statistics report in 2004 showed that children of lone parents are twice as likely to have mental health problems. Children aged 12 in one
Parent families are 2.4 times as likely to smoke and 1.6 times as likely to use alcohol. Drug taking is more common , children are more likely to be expelled, and, in the US , 63% of teenage suicides , 90 % of runaway children and 85 % of juvenile prisoners are from single parent homes.
I do not take these figures straight myself, there are other factor as work and some false correlations, but nonetheless the picture of a state induced moral breakdown is fair.
When Mr . Johnson , says our benefits system must be bias free what I thought was this . I’ll take that thanks ,because at the moment ,we have a brutal assault on marriage in low income households. If one spouse earns £5000 and the other £15,000 for example they would lose £5400 of benefits.The true marginal disincentive goes a long way higher up the scale that that because of the housing issue above.

We do not need a return to Peter Lilly’s little list “Young ladies who get pregnant jut to jump the housing list” ,which was needlessly impolitic. We need the stick of a fixed period benefits system, significant cuts in taxes on income especially at low levels ,and an all out assault on the concept of entitlement. This virulent lie is alive and well in this unreconstructed inner cities that Blair and co. make sure there children will never know. I meet them and I know

Do not imagine that there is no part for moral outrage in this fight,there is a place for anger visceral horror and this is my policy....

RAGE RAGE RAGE

One For My Baby

You’ll get so lonely
Well maybe its better that way
But it aint you only
You’ve Got something to say

DO ANYTHING YOU WANNA DO”.
. perhaps my favourite lines in all of Rock/Pop and a Libertarian anthem for the bolshy right wing youth I was.( Eddie and the Hot Rods)


People are talking about a new right intelligentsia ( rules me out ), well Michael Gove , and some desperate journo`s, have flung together a paste board job or two. I wonder if anyone else has that, “I was a punk before you were a punk ",feeling , about the Johnny and Jilly come latelys
“Well hi everybody take a look at me I ve got street credibility …” as the popular crooner Georgio Michael once trilled.

I have always been a Conservative . At school I was called” Nuremberg”, implying my trial was imminent . At university ,I was in a minority of one, plus a load of farmers ,and in general I always seem to have been the only righty .
It has been like coming home ,finding I have allies . Ask anyone that has ever known me ,and they will tell you I have changed my views little ,since I was eleven. I said things like, “Well go and live in Russia if you think its so great !“, in a snotty falsetto , and got sneered at , do you know the type ?

Throughout the period in which ,to say you admired Margaret Thatcher, was to invite a drivel of alternative,( to ), comedy , I never denied her. Understanding little about the politics ,it was above all, the transparent insincerity of the left ,that I reacted against .
There was something so obviously right about what she said and I had been waiting to hear it as the country was.What enormous pleasure it gives me now , to read her memoirs , and I thought I would share a flavour of the great woman’s writing . She writes superbly …but of course the arts establishment were out for her by then.


Callaghan loses vote of confidence

"Denis , who was watching from the Opposition box on the floor of the house shouted hooray and was quite properly reproved by one of the sergeants of arms "
Notice the gentle self mocking tone which has been a surprising and endearing treat. Why did we never see how funny she was ?

Know your enemy

“We call then socialist, social democrat, statist or merely Butskellite*

* A political term dating form the 1950s denoting a consensus combining the moderate Conservatism of R A Butler and the moderate Socialism of Hugh Gaitskell

The way it felt

“The final illusion -that state intervention would promote social harmony and solidarity , or , in Tory language “ One Nation “ - collapsed in the Winter of discontent , when the dead went unburied and critically ill patients were turned away from hospitals by pickets, and the prevailing mood was one of snarling envy and motiveless hostility”


The nation state ,,this follows a passage on the resistance to Hitler

“ My view was and is that - that an effective internationalism can only be built by strong nations which are able to call upon the loyalty of their citizens to defend and enforce civilised rules of international conduct. An internationalism that seeks to supersede the nation state , however will founder quickly on the reality that few people are prepared to make genuine sacrifices for it .”

Try arguing with that ! You just wouldn’t and ...

“ We intended to achieve a fundamental change of direction. We stood for a new beginning not more o the same “

Are you listening Cameron ….some would say?


I`ll finish with three personal quotes . The first two show that skill for being subtly ironic with her persona and the third needs no explanation.

On the Queen

“ ..the press could not resist the temptation to suggest disputes between the Place and Downing Street especially in Commonwealth affairs I always found the Queen’s attitude to the work of government absolutely correct”…( well lucky her …)

On the French

“ I recall on one occasion watching President Giscard d Estaing gazing at the two portraits in the dining room . - one of the young Nelson , the other of Wellington. He remarked on the irony. I replied that it was no less ironic that I should have to look at portraits of Napoleon on my visits to Paris. In retrospect I can see that this was not quite a parallel . Napoleon lost.”……..and so he did….

On Denis


“ …being Prime minister is a lonely job . In a sense it ought to be you cannot lead from the crowd. But with Denis there I was never alone. What a man. What husband . What a friend “

It’s a bit of a meander I know but this is …..“One for my baby “. We all get to do one surely ?

Brown`s Syrup continues to Fool the Press

To me it has never looked quite right

Punny Headlines

Sometimes you can see it coming a mile away can`t you

Benny Macarthy scores 2 penalties for Blackburn and .......

'Penni McCarthy' - The Daily Mirror.

'Peni McCarthy' - The Sun.

'Benni Spots The Difference' - The Daily Star.

'Benni's Spot Of Revenge Over Bolton' - The Daily Mail.




I do rather enjoy a good pun actually as well as a bad head line . Ilike the classics
"Shell found on Beach!"
"Body Found in Graveyard"

For punnery I have a soft spot for "The Unbearable Lateness of Boeing"


Any more ?

Freud ..not that one

DRUGS and DEALING

Following the super debate on Education Key workers and so on, I have to admit I felt in the end that I was occupying a false position. I do not believe that it will ever be politically possible to get rid of Public Schools .While the thought experiment is interesting ,David Allen was right to say ,we have to deal with 'what is' and not as Croydonian calls it ,( with typical heavy sarcasm ) ,“Year Zero”. Reading Phillips Johnston’s Report on drugs legislation this morning ,an apposite quote popped up in another context….

“As Professor Anthony King, the commission chairman, observes in his introduction to the report: "The question for policy-makers is never, 'Where do we go?', but always, 'Where do we go from here?' "

Phillip Johnston predicts the beginning of limited Liberalisation, citing David Cameron’s easy ride on spliffification ,as evidence that the public are prepared to take a more sensible approach. The following two quotes sum up the difference between the real world ,and the absurd pontifications of one of my most hated organisations , the UN.

“Some years ago, the UN set itself the goal of ridding the world of drugs by 2008, a target that has become more, rather than less, fanciful over time....

....In the late 1960s, there were a few thousand drug addicts at most across the United Kingdom; today there are a quarter of a million problem users, who damage not only themselves but the very fabric of society “

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.....

The Freud report(ho ho), on Welfare is going to be most significant to the electoral hopes of the Labour Party ,and thereby the Tories . I predicted ,with less than stunning foresight, ages ago that Labour would start to contest the middle ground ,and we are now beginning to see the signs .

If the below mentions are the tone of the report ,and it is indeed going to set the agenda for the “First 100 days”, then David Cameron has much to fear. This is is exactly what Tony Blair was saying ten years ago, and we must keep reminding people what a lie it was , and is.

“The proposals are expected to include a new requirement for single parents to seek work once their youngest child reaches 11, rather than the current age of 16. John Hutton, the Work and Pensions Secretary, confirmed”

In the context of lone parents, I think we should be prepared to say if we are going to provide more help and support to get back to work, then we will expect you to take up that help and support."

FREE TATOO REMOVAL

Mr Hutton confirmed that the proposed assistance for the long-term unemployed could include "confidence-building measures" such as help making themselves presentable for job interviews. But he played down reports that this could include tattoo removal, saying: "I'm not sure that's where we need to focus our effort."

Ironic Ducks

I`ve been having one of those conversations that you might call wide ranging. I was tossed out on the street, by Mrs. N ,with Elliot ,to go and spend time with his cousins ,and my brother.

Pedro my younger sib has had a slightly odd career. He worked for Paribas Frere (The Merchant Bank) or bonk Paribas as I called it …don`t ask. Tiring of that life ,he qualified as a teacher . He and his partner sell their skills at a very good comprehensive in Highbury . Pedro is head of economics and Shazzer teaches Art . They have two very young boys , a lovely house , a flat they let in a good catchments area ,and a place in France . This is all financed by Pedros astute early buy-to-let ,and Shazzer’s parents.

With what Pedro calls a secure, ‘part time‘, job ,and no financial worries , life is pretty good for them ,as mon frere happily acknowledges. Any way, we hadn’t seen each other for a while ,and ,as ever ,we railed about the injustice of the world as we both see it.

Brighton:

The first thing that cropped up was the experiment in lottery systems for schools . I was in favour . I agree with George Orwell who called Public schools festering breeding grounds of snobbery and the state system has become as bad . By such means as, Buying flats and letting them out in the right area, ,the better off ,cheat the system ,and get their children into what were often ex Grammar schools . Emily Thornberry is typical cheap lying hag, of this variety , and so , of course, is Ruth Kelly .

One of things I like about the idea , is that the hypocritical lying socialists will be forced to put up or shut up. At the moment these MP`s ,including Tony Blair ,ship their children into good catchments area schools ,if by some astonishing feat they have not managed to make their wealth tell another way. They would then have to do the full ‘Dianne Abbot ’, and go private, whilst publicly spitting on the educational system they recommend for their constituents.
Pedro replied, “ Fuck that! ,after we scrimped to get ourselves a flat in the catchments area, they change the rules .”
I mentioned that actually this was financed by ‘your bird’s dad’ ,and so the conversation went amiably on……

My overarching point is this . There is no justice in the Conservative low tax argument, if the majority are not given a chance to join the competition ,win or lose,. We have to have early state intrusion to level the playing field. After that you should be free to fail . I see it as akin to Monopoly legislation and not Social engineering . It is liberating social movement that happens naturally .
We should indeed have strict lotteries on academic lines ,within wide catchments and ,above all, we cannot justify Private schools . At the very least it is an insult , that the already privileged ,should buy further advantages for their children ,and it is called a charity.

With fair access to education ,a less class ridden society would be less full of envy and the need to shore up infantilised basket cases, would diminish. It is an essential corollary to Conservatism that opportunity exists ,otherwise all we are doing is defending class injustice.

So I applaud this move in Brighton . I know the Libertarians want to be free to take everyone else’s Liberty ,but I have always thought that doctrinaire Libertarianism was bollocks ,and stems from an overly literal and legalistic view of Society . Liberty is something we make from rules , the natural state is the enslavement of the majority ,as it was in all Classical cultures. They have it back to front.

KEY WORKERS- The hysterical abuse of the Key worker grants that teachers are merrily engaged in continues to delight and amuse . They say that they should be given say £50,000 of tax payers money so they can have a slightly larger place close to where they work. The taxes that pay for this are, for the most part , extracted from people living on tight budgets ,worse off then the beneficiaries, or commuting ,the very thing they say they cannot be expected to do.

Mon Frere says this is a case of Policy lag . There was a shortage of teachers years ago but this was solved by the training grant. There are now ample teachers and he agrees that to take the food away from tables so teachers can have pleasant morning stroll is farcical . It is one of the ways the Public Sector has earned the loathing of the suffering Private wealth producing class. Incidentally there were never shortages of teachers in most subjects but the NUT will not have differential deals . As for the Police ,the queues to join are endless and they have to be given a house ? Madness

THE TRUTH
The government is buying up trenches of Property with other peoples money. This means that this those who not “Key ( = Public sector ),are paying taxes to take the property they market, further out of their reach because it increases prices.
God, that’s what we needed wasn’t it a load of State money into the Housing Market . I could scream!. It’s a sort of super stealth tax on aspiration and it is destroying the ability to move from the Working Class to the middleclass. This , of course , suit’s the damned State nicely. The biggest single contributor to Social mobility ion the 20th Century was Property Ownership . No wonder they want to make it as hard as possible…., and don’t get me started on Stamp Duty !

Benefits and education
. I would to see benefits higher ,but for a short fixed duration. This is not unlike my view of early state input on education. With full employment only avoided by prissiness about jobs ,it is bizarre that scrounging should become an ‘life choice’ . Do the middle-class Socilaists know what happens ? Many young women acquire children, to get a flat , move out of that flat, to live with their boyfriend ,and sub-let informally ,for an income . This practice is wide spread ,and typical of the endemic soviet style petty corruption that inevitably follows moral breakdown ,and state micro management . You can almost smell the cheap cleaning fluid as you enter parts of Islington , it is like going to the old Eastern Block.
We have our Sure Start State crèche , how long before we get the State dungarees and vouchers for cabbage broth !The sort of pupils that come from this environment make the whole education debate fraught . The aspirationals are desperate to avoid them, and this is really what the demos in Brighton are about . I would not have started from here as one so often says .I can see that there will be a lot of resentment and for this reason I would like to see the process move forward ,with rigorous benefits and housing reform


Freakonomics
So we wandered along the leafy garden path of educational opportunity and class and mentioned the hit book Freakonomics. In it ,there are lots interesting correlations ,and Pedro mentioned some of them.

A telling tit bit was that, if you have moved into at better area, it is not a good correlator with the educational success for your child . If you have just moved up you are likely to have the attitudes of your previous status . If you have books in the house it is a good correlation but if you read to your children it is not . This is because reading to your children is a working class activity the middle classes tend to make sure they can read and let them get on with it. It may , of course befit the individual child. This is all fun and I must read the book

. I said I expect that people with plaster Ducks up on the wall are less likely to have successful children , but , turning round ,noticed that my host actually had a set of Plaster Ducks flying Heavenward across the Living-room wall.

‘Goodness there not much chance for yours is there’ I said .
‘Ah but those are Ironic Ducks !’
I know what he means. Is it just me ?


Anyway it’s a lovely sunny day and I `m of to get my motorbike fixed. My copy of ‘Margaret Thatcher the Westminster Years ,’ has just arrived and I have a title for my blog .

UPDATE
THANKS- Thankyou to those who have contributed. Whilst I have defended my points as well as I can I think some good counter arguments have been made , especially that we are not in a perfect starting place and its hopeless to wish we were . Naturally I will not be owning up to what exactly but some of the ’issues’ raised are actually quite convincing. It is possible that I may at some future time have to admit that I may in some sense not have been entirely , in the fullest meaning of the word and all things considered ….right.

..and that’s as far as I `m going .

Cough cough , as Hitch would say.

And thanks to Marjorie for defending Key Worker grants. Brave woman !

We`re a Couple Of Gems

'A Chinese businessman has advertised on the internet for a stand-in mistress to be beaten up by his wife to vent her anger and to protect his real mistress. "When the woman found out her husband had a mistress, she insisted on beating her up," the Beijing Youth Daily said, citing the advertisement posted on a popular online jobs forum on sina.com. More than 10 people had applied for the job, the newspaper said. The "successful" candidate would be 35 and originally from northeastern China and would be paid 3,000 yuan ($573) per 10 minutes, it said' - NZ Herald



'Police have condemned hecklers who urged a man to "get on with it" as he threatened to jump off the top of a multi-storey car park. A crowd gathered as the 21-year-old was perched on the eight-storey building in Mexborough, South Yorkshire, while officers tried to calm him down. But some onlookers started shouting at the man, urging him to jump. Trained negotiators later arrived at the scene near the town centre and persuaded the man to come down' - The BBC website.

Remember Pete and Dud....

"Jump, you fucker jump. Jump down into this blanket what we are holding. He jumped down to the deck, broke his fucking neck. There was no blanket. Laugh? I nearly cried." etc

And the Paddy Bashing Goes On

As reported by the fine publication that is Galway First:

'A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised "to get out and meet people," the local court heard last week.

'Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.

'Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.

'"Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey," she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like, "Isn't that right, Donkey?"'

The Direct approach

Update
I see my assumption that Blog people follow the rumour mill of football was unjustified some background then.Ahem ...prepare for careful phrasing. This was months ago but the rumours are persistent.



Anti-Chelsea propaganda or what really happened?......... ((9.11.06)



Apparently on the internet message boards it is alleged that John Terry told Ledley King to 'Shut up you lippy black monkey' before getting
sent off on Sunday. This would explain the following:
Why King went mad, when normally he is mild tempered and the incident appeared harmless
Why Chimbonda went berserk and had to be physically restrained
Why Zakora went mad also
Why Drogba, who was there and always gets involved, did nothing
Why Terry calmly walked away expecting to be sent off for what appeared on TV to be nothing

Terry was accused by Eto of making racist comments in the Barcelona game last year.
Apparently a Spurs player has leaked this, but Chelsea are working overtime to keep it quiet
Ashley Cole has said that Poll told him the lack of discipline by Chelsea was out of order and Chelsea are trying to discredit Poll, but
he cannot possibly come out and say what Terry did as he is the England captain, preferring to say he was sent off for 'ungentlemanly conduct'.
Finally, Rio Ferdinand said in his book that a current England player was a known racist. Wonder who he meant?

If this story is true, it will be massive and I can't believe the press haven't got hold of it yet. Chelsea must be weighing journalists out
left, right and centre.





I thought evryone knew this , next you`ll be saying you don`t think Robbie Fowler has a Cocaine habit ?

Double Jeopardy

This is worthy of Hitchcock. Police in China were baffled when DNA evidence the same perosn was responsible for crimes in two places at once. Identical twins from Shuangcheng had been commiting burglaries and rapes at the same time .


Spooky stuff eh ..I thought they were all pretty identical but then they think I`m a round eyed devil.

..I have no idea what the comments are about

Shooting Yourself in the Foot

But not if you are disabled. This party who say a lot of sensible things continue to make themselves look ridiculous in large and small ways.
'A man claimed yesterday the UK Independence Party dumped him as a candidate as he has FALSE KNEES. Jack Biggs, 65, who was registered disabled for two years after a double knee replacement, branded the decision "disgusting". But UKIP insists it is an "act of kindness" so he won't have to canvass and deliver leaflets'

Edit .Typical , not only is it all nonsense but has been dealt with By Dizzy Croydonian DK and so on the details are in the comments . what do I know I saw it in the Sun !

Day Off

Mrs. N will probably kill me but this is Master Elliot Horatio Newman(ia).He said Mummy for the foirst time the day before yesterday . Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww!

I Hate the Young .....( and the Old)

I do not like young people much they have far to good a time. I shuffle to work everyday like a miserable Monk, being harvested by the State for my life force, while they skip and cavort with sexy new media projects ,and have ,“ vibrant “ web communities of smarmy Conservative Future members .

I see them laughing in that revoltingly carefree way and the bile rises in my throat ,the bitter acrid fumes sting my nostrils. I crush a paper cup with silent disgust. Oh bugger off and have a ,“Crave” ,or whatever it is you do, I shout , waving an imaginary stick ,and expectorating vilely multicoloured mucus ….well not quite but you get the picture. Cull them!

So today is a good schadenfreude day for me ,for what do I discover ,but that I am stealing their money. Excellent news ,and here’s how I do it .

Firstly, I may have lost it now, but at least for goodly while I was on a superb final salary pension, and as at that time, I was earning some pretty sweet action , that is still a nice thing to have tucked into your back pocket. Secondly , again , its all gone now with having to move ,but for years I had free dental care, and most of all, I was able to get into the property ladder. Badly , to late and to timidly ,true, but yes the famille Newmania are”in property”, and we regularly dance little jigs of joy at the latest news ,that a single London Brick is actually worth more than the equivalent amount of gold .

They, the young , get pies in the face from all angles. Poor them ,a typical 22 year old graduate may leave, “ Uni”, with about £22,000 of debt at a time when I degree is hardly worth having anyway. What a superb twist of the knife that should be ,asked to voluntarily give back any cash they do make, in contributions to their alma mater. The next thing they do, is hop off and pay rent with their groovy chums , and I love this bit . They are probably paying of the Mortageg of an older buyer ,and actually sending the first rung of the property ladder further away with their own money . Oh Sweet sweet sweet ;Oh brave new world that has such ( stupid) people in it.

The average age for buying that first property is now 34 only ten years ago it was 26. In fact with Mortgages now extending to 50 years ,even if they got on the ladder it is far from clear that they themselves, will ever benefit. They will be just in time to hand over the Capital to their children. Oh dear , I cannot contain my mirth.

Excuse me while I get comfy ah yes that’s better. I just want to lean a little harder on the young ,and I can do it politically. You see the demographic has turned on its head. Instead of a large young population supporting a small old one it’s the other way round . Now heres where I start to have a concern. I lost my super pension paid through the nose for property and ¸ I am, certainly not one of the leisured class of grey wasters. I am in the working population and do not therefore qualify from mist of the freebies.

I am 43 and it is older folk than me who are rally riding the gravy train

FACT: At the time of the 2005 election MORI calculated that the over 55s had 4.2 times the voting power of the 18 to 34 years olds.

FACT:In the UK the number of people over 40 will overtake the under forties by 2021 …
..and this voting power is really biting The oldies .and I `m, getting less and less happy , are hogging all the wealth and I mean ,the really old .

FACT: On average 55 to 69 year old s have £109,000 of amassed assets ,

That’s the average , but anecdotally ,every old person I ever meet is planning a SKI holiday( spend kid`s inheritance ), which very much includes my parents. Now its true, that there is a large minority of pensioners, say 17 % classified as poor, that have not got property or private pensions. They are hit badly by Council tax fuel and other bills but they are a minority.

FACT: 70% of those worth over £500,000 in this country are over 55

…and let not forget it . Blimey more and more I begin to think I `v got more in common with the young. I `m certainly with them on this half the absurd taxes I pay for which I get pretty much nothing goes on pensions , ,healthcare and social services and a great deal of this is for the old . They , having spent all their property doubloons, relax onto the warm duvet provided by the state courtesy of the long suffering working population.

Sod it; I `m not quite old enough after all .The thing to be is a teenager in the 60s then you vote for loads of state control when you are young , low taxes when you are really earning , in the 80s and then now you are an old wreck you turn the state taps back on again. Well that’s lovely isn`t it and I `m one of the ones being eaten not ,,as I thought , visa versa.
So perhaps I should join hands with my new young chums and we can all go to a “Grave” ..or something together. I am one of the exploited by these greedy oldsters.

CONSERVATIVE FUTURE ARE STILL GUILTY

One problem. Most of the ghastly glib shiny faced members of Conservative Future are not suffering at all. They have the huge advantage I did not, of being around when people are actually looking for young people, so have high earning power. They are usually the recipients of generational wealth ,that cascades down from property allowing them not to work ,so they can be a nuisance in politics ,and cash in on property themselves. They are in fact the lottery of life winners

For all you other young people though. Tough luck, I `m basically in the same boat. We are being sucked dry, by the thin mean wizened lips of the old. So in the end, it turns out I hate the old and the young.

That what’s called a mid life crisis