Waiting For Guido ...

.......and its the waiting that drives you mad





MARVIN GAYE THE POLITICAL COMMENTATOR

As Marvin Gaye put it “What going on ?”. Not much really . We are in the phoney Tony war. Labour are imploding but the blue team are not picking up the spare votes and are yet to breast the magical 40% tape . Prisons collapse and crime stumbles unchecked around the country faintly confused that no-one cares . Our glorious President Blair is ensnared by the many tentacled sleaze monster and Brown will be hatching his “It wasn’t me”, story as we speak . Caps on Party spending is my guess for New New labour .The stinking rotten tooth of Islamic fascism is getting pulled painfully into the daylight despite the best efforts of the anti racism industry . Notably a little snuff movie that got lost in pre-production ,and some terrifying figures about “Radicalised Muslim Youth” ,(criminals that is), and their great liking for people who want to kill us .Nothing new there though. One yearns for action , to be involved ,to don the blue rosette and sally into the lists . Come on Blair ya `big pansy “Lets get it on”..

………as Marvin Gaye also said….



GREAT LIARS PAST AND PRESENT

Stanley did not say “Dr. Livingstone I presume” In fact he was a serial self re inventor and hid his glorious lineage( son of a Welsh whore) with a variety of tall tales. He made it up, and used it to pocket loot on lucrative US lectures tours . Remind you of anyone ? John Guilgud said …of Claude Rains ,“He failed and went to America“. are we warm yet? Yes it is of course the President of Britain who has leapt unbidden into my mind . What will he say of himself when he turns up for his Beckham like ,” One for the money”..” I have nothing to declare but my genius”, I think not . Frank Johnson had a marvellous insight into what Labour have been doing after clause four got chucked out of the life boat.” They couldn’t nationalise companies anymore so they decided to nationalise people”

Or here’s one I made earlier in the show ,“They tried to fit meritocracy into equality“. It fits as well as a glass slipper fits an ugly sister .How did they imagine it could work?

PREPARE FOR PASSIVE DRINKING

Doctors have called for higher taxes on booze. Even higher they mean , we are due for an extra 10p on the price of a Scottish and Newcastle Pint and they make one in four pulled. A combination of EU related costs ,employment tax and so on , and VAT are responsible for 6p of the 10p. This is not , however , a tax rise. Oh no. they want yet more . This is because of the health implications of the 24 hour licence we have enjoyed. That licence was to revive local economies , like the gambling and soon , no doubt, prostitution and drugs. It is clear where the revenues from this revival are headed is it not .

Doctors will not mind much on £300,000 per annum and will , of course, remain the epic piss heads they have always been.

HUH?

Every car has a licence and the DVLA ,as we know has Hal`s evil brood of super computers monitoring us . The number of unlicensed vehicles resolutely continues to climb steeply , so why on earth would we imagine that ID cards will work. I have read costings of anywhere between £5bio and £20 bio. Given that £53bio is the UK`s food bill, we can safely say its an awful lot…

LAZY LUCKY FROGGY SWINES

In a rare tip toe into Croydonian territory I notice Xavier Bertrand the Frog health Minister is proposing a right to nap . Yes that’s right, with only a 35 hour average working week, the French are about to have statutory right to a siesta . I also notice that France topped a poll for quality of life in which we were below several war zones. About 35th actually. We should never have given up our French holdings …and the women are gorgeous as well. Why is everything here so “mal”.

Je ne sais pas.

BUT OF COURSE THEY HAVE….

Reinforced steel Parking meters are being designed for Lewes east Sussex , after ordinary models were blown up more than 300 times. Ruth O Keefe a County Councillor said the town had a tradition of dissent and “explosives expertise”. If I don`t move to France I `m moving to Lewes, “Save me banger to throw chaps ..!!!”

SENSE OF PROPORTION

Peaches Geldof , and don`t pretend you don`t know who she is , has just been voted number ten in an Arena Magazine Poll of ,“celebrities least worthy of the status”. The winner was Peter Doherty but David Cameron came in a creditable fourth. I can think of other contenders myself …as I `m sure can we all… Prescott …Beckett…spoilt for choice really.

SEX AND MONEY

Three out of ten men claim they would abstain from sex for life, for a million pounds . This was a survey for ,“Company “ ,magazine. I don’t get it . The first thing I would do with a “Million pounds “ is purchase the finest sex money can buy.. By this I mean , of course , take my lovely wife out to Dinner.
In France probably , its nice there.


BOY`S LOVE NUMBERS

Following the planned closure of the Office for national Statistics in Pimlico ,staff will either be relocated to Newport or made redundant when the office moves ,in 2010.Mark Sewotka “the Union General secretary claimed the quality of statistics would be undermined and that the announcement “will anger staff and increase the possibility of a strike”

The increase in the possibility of a strike was calculated to be 123.5467397874 5% but they could be wrong…..(sorry)

BAD LAW…BAD BAD LAW!!!
Since the dangerous dogs act 800 Londoners have been wounded by dog attacks . `Tis about the same as before the Act. I think I can do without statisticians to tell me that as a waste of time.

KEEP YOUR HAIR ON

People are so touchy aren’t they .Trevor Mathews the revered head of Standard Life was setting out the firm’s employee pension proposals when he was asked why plans to close the final salary scheme had been buried on page 126 of the prospectus. ”Ah “ he said gravely” That’s the nigger in the woodpile”. Endless statements and apologies later he has kept his job . This will please him as at £450,000 pa he is on some sweet action. Far more than Blair and somewhat more than the head of the BBC. He seems a nice chap and explained the phrase was common in his youth and had slipped out .Know the problem.
Meanwhile Ginger Footballer Paul Dyke has reported a referee for making Gingerist comments during a match. Apparently the official barked “Oi ginger shut up”
Refs ..”he says, “should not be allowed to abuse and discriminate.. Hampshire FC are investigating the unusual incident. …


I bet they are sitting in the pub laughing their jolly old Jacob`s off about it .I would .

NOTHING BETTER TO DO?

On a day when we discover that 8000 Policemen are doing an hour a week for full pay and in the shadow of their tremendously important Big Brother interviews I am reminded of the recent coup scored by the Bobbies of Purton Wiltshire . About 30 pairs of knickers were found draped over road signs and gravestones prompting a full investigation .Top sleuths made this statement, “Noone has reported any stolen and they all appear to be new and of good quality”.

Hmmm. Highly suggestive..but of what?

MORE SEX

Richard Gere ( the actor , it says) was to be found a couple of weeks ago shouting ,“No condom , No sex” ..as thousands of Indian prostitutes danced . This took place while he presented awards to Aids workers, at a ceremony in a Mumbai fairground .I `d like to have seen that.
Scientists report that a portion of chips can have a damaging effect of fertility. Good job to . In Croydon this is the main tool in family planning . Richard Gere should have a word with thousands of dancing Chavs , not that they would listen.

AND FINALLY

We live in a country where the most likely people to steal from the old are their own children but I can`t face it today. I don’t want to face it . I may be about to crack ,and it can happen for the smallest reason .A 53 year old Turkish man who killed his wife with a hammer told police it was because she cooked him noodles for a month . “ It was unbearable “ ..he said .

It is isn`t it . Sometimes we can only say “Nihil radicibus sparget “




( Translates as : Spread nothing on the root vegetables ..sounds good though)

No Blacks Allowed.....(?)

"Whites Only Signs"

Naturally I would never say such a disgraceful thing.




…….. but what an outcry there would quite rightly be if I did. I might be forced to weasel out of it by reference to “ Section 38 of the Race Relations Act (1976) and Section 48 of the Sex Discrimination Act (1975). “. That is what Islington Council are doing. but they are discriminating against whites.
I am not a racist. Verity,the famous right wing commentator and equal opportunity eviscerater, put it something like this . “I don’t care what colour you are or who you have sex with , so long as you agree with me .”A fine attitude.

My wife is of semi Trinidadian descent and so,of course, is my son. I wonder if his blackness would be too attenuated to qualify ,( when he`s older), for Islington Council’s racist Black men only teaching course. Would they have to measure the curliness his hair , the thickness his lips ? I suppose they would , how else would you decide . I need hardly say how abhorrent I find this rancid nasty piece of gutter level bigotry . Incidentally white working class boys are the poorest performing educational group.

THIS IS ON THE COUNCIL WEB SITE

African-Caribbean Men Wanted in Schools
to make a difference to children's lives


Following the success of our first programme,
Islington's Ethnic Minority Achievement Service (EMAS) is offering 40 African-Caribbean men* the chance to become fully
qualified Teaching Assistants (TAs). This unique programme will give you the opportunity to take part in an all expenses paid
training package that will lead to OCR Level 2 national qualification. The course will use a range of teaching and learning
methods to accommodate different learning styles. It will also present you with the opportunity to build a network with other
African-Caribbean male TAs, to help support you whilst developing a rewarding career in education. Note: You must be
unemployed or about to be unemployed.
Closing Date: 30/01/2007
How to apply: For further information contact: Karen Weir or Marc Thompson on 020 7527 5899.
karen.weir.cea@islington.gov.uk. marc.thompson.cea@islington.gov.uk. Quote reference: Male TA scheme.
Please leave your name and telephone
contact(s). Please note: Course begins in February 2007.
* This post is exempt under Section 38 of the Race Relations Act (1976) and Section 48 of the Sex
Discrimination Act (1975).
Interview Date:
http://www.islington.gov.uk/DownloadableDocuments/EducationandLearning/Pdf/cis_job_bulletin.pdf



Update.: Some further thoughts

Recently, the Decibel Penguin Literary prize for British writers of Afro Caribbean and Asian origin was forced under threat from the CRE to admit white writers . That’s how sensitively monitored the subject is .To the point of absurdity.White people can be excluded from a job application quite explicitly , on the other hand....

Quotas and positively discriminating measures are always harmful.Forty deserving candidates have been shunted aside in pursuit of some mis-conceived politically correct Benneton ad inclusiveness .The Coucil no doubt feel that under privileged Black boys do not have enough male role models . Well nor do white boys , but in any case what is this role model ?The message is that “Black men” are incapable of succeeding without special help and, likely as not, to be unemployed. Rubbish of course but why make it appear that it is not ?

Sir Keith Ajegbo commented in a recent Government report” White children can feel beleaguered and marginalized finding their identity under threat as much as ethnic minority children” also” Nor is there any advantage is creating confidence in minority ethnic pupils if it leaves white pupils feeling disenfranchised and resentful“. How , then , can we possibly justify this sort of Social micro meddling ?

Lets look at the backdrop. The BNP doubled its Council seats last Summer and it is thought that this sort of initiative drives white youth into the arms of extremists. We are after all living in a country where Mohammed has overtaken George in the Popular name list and one immigrant arrives every minute. The phenomenon of white flight , from London is well known , and Labour Mps like Ruth Kelly and Dianne Abbot routinely buy their children out of schools where eight languages are taught.
Do we need divisive special treatment for new comers ? Absolutely not , there is already growing suspicion and mistrust. This will add to it.

Across the Parties there is an acknowledgement that multi culturalism , ie accentuating difference, has been a disaster. This idiotic idea is part of that problem.

Black children and white children should be treated the same and so should their teachers. Simple .This tawdry doctrinally motivated mischief is an insult and a digrace

MATCH THE PICTURES TO THE GOSSIP

BRIDGET FOX
I `m really coming round to SUZ` blog. Her political views are those of a child but then she rarely discusses the bankrupt collection of whimsies that is Liberal Party thinking. She is a great gossip though, and seems to have a GSOH. I wonder, considering the sanctimonious auto-eroticists that she associates with, how she keeps it . Anyhoo, I like the way she’s dealt with the re-selection of Bridget Fox. Now if Liberals think she is prissy, god alone knows what manner of soul sucking incubus she really is.

She writes…
“Didn't envisage any surprises locally. As expected Bridget Fox (Miss Prissy Knickers my mental image of her) has been reselected as the LibDem PPC for Islington South & Finsbury to contest Emily Thornberry's seat. It's was known months ago that Dominic Mathon offered to front her campaign and since then there were moves in the background to ensure she was reselected.

Personally I wish the local party members had chosen somebody else this time around”

Suz is still in trouble with Steve Hitchens I believe but I can’t get her to bring me up to speed.

EMILY THORNBERRY ( Environment MP of the year and lard addict)

Mountainous Emily Thornberry has gone off on an arctic expedition,. Someone get me a harpoon and I may just spend my life following her. Damned whale

Call me Ishmael…….please ..someone.

A NEW BLOG -ARTHURIAN LEGEND

A great new blog has stated in Islington by someone who is quite clearly a chap with his head screwed on the right way. How much do I love the first post.? Lots and lots is the answer. Some sound work already


There is a new Conservative movement in Islington. It's being added to one blog at a time. Newmania led the way. King Arthur's in support. Other good men and women are following fast. Surely the moment when the opposition splits, 1931-style, is only a short time away. Watch this space...

I have linked to the site , well worth looking in and I will be doing so from now on.

Salutations Mystery Blogger. I like the cut of your jib I could almost sing “Things can only get better” if the thought didn`t make me want to regurgitate the elegant repast of omelette and Chardonnay I have enjoyed.


JUSTIN HINCHLIFFE

Mr. Croydonian and I attended the spontaneous outpouring of joy and love we know as Justin Hinchcliffe`s birthday Party . Justin is the magnificent leader of the Tottenham and Haringey Conservatives and a celebrated North London Conservative.
Gamine handsome David Allen , the deputy leader , wafted hither and thither like a fragrantly scented Zephyr with chicken wings and palpable benevolence. He brings joy wherever he goes , that man.
The centre piece though was Justin who drew admiring glances from all genders .Picture Michelangelo’s David , youth ,beauty and physical splendour caught in a moment of perfect poise. That is Justin….although I `m not tempted myself .Seriously , a clever chap and with some real charisma. I hope he will go far.

Ahem I got far to drunk and may have behaved badly . If so sorry…..Other Luminaries were Peter and his wife ,interesting , and a gorgeous pouting coquette of a Blonde .Interesting as well. Was she Catriona ?

I HATE COMPUTERS ( a therapy intermission)

I `m not expecting help I just want to tell the world how much I hate computers . Everyone thinks they are so useful , friendly little presences that just want to help . Well you are all so so wrong. They are in fact minor demons some way down the hierarchy from famine and pestilence , maybe , but spirits of pure evil nonetheless. If it gives you some idea this is my current top ten hate list.
1 Computers
2 Socialism
3 Work
….and computers fill the rest of the available space.

Its all my fault . I went to a site that I should have , not an illegal site but not one lets say I would like to discuss with my mother ,or anyone else come to think about it . It sent me spy ware and this caused the appearance of weird windows looking objects which , being a total stone age idiot ,I took to be real .I carefully did exactly as I was told until I was riven with scurvy and had to take time from work to download Nazi Aryan thug spy ware. The blonde Gestapo programme marched in and ethnically cleansed the whole lebensraum ( you see the state of mind you get into ). Damn right I thought . I watched the fires burn across virtual land . Die , die you unclean pig -dogs. I may have shouted…what is happening to me ?
All of this caused me to close to a nervous breakdown and then , what should the venomous swine do this morning but leap out of its slumber and stop me sending emails .I can get emails , I can use the interweb , but when I try to send one it breaks the connection. It maybe something to do with some update of windows or a compacting cue that kept turning up. Who knows .

This I know .Once again the malevolent sprite “computer” is licking its dry lips with ill concealed joy. Once again ,the gulf between Gutenberg types like me and technical overlords like you is all to clear. I `m going to end up shining your shoes just because I can`t press a few buttons .I tell you now though ,when you don’t let me on the bus , when you won’t share the latrine with me you are storing up trouble oh yea your time is coming .One day I `m going to kick this stupid thing out of the window and I will have the last laugh.

I HATE COMPUTERS.


But if anyone has any advice , I will be your slave and write your biography with belly crawling unctuous and pitiable gratitude ……..weep weep weep.


Come to think of it inanimate objects in general...don`t get me started...