Sunday, August 05, 2007

Dale Acknowledges Mediocrity

I have no idea why but I am , apparently going to be in this book of bloggers with a bit of blurb . I submitted my excrutiating tract of false modesty just now ? Wonder if I`ll get in. This was my effort but I think Dale butchers them anayway.



Once upon a time Newmania was the orb about which the stars wheeled .His food and comfort were attended to as if he were a god ; and it was right . Sadly , this cushy number ended on the Third of October 1963 when he was born by emergency caesarean .Today he is a face on the tube amongst the countless souls ’ like petals on a wet, black bough‘. He eeks a pittance from Insurance and lives with his family in Islington. Part Pooter and part Prufcock his spirit has resisted its altered circumstances and consequently the wolf is so often at the door he leaves it milk and biscuits. He attended St. Albans School ( Direct Grant ) , and studied English , a bit , at Newcastle University where he did ok.
Turning to politics , Islington Council are to blame . In an act of wretched perfidy they robbed this proud warrior of his ancient lands aka his parking space .A long correspondence paid for ,no doubt, by the fines newmania “cheerfully” paid ,prompted our hero to join the Conservative party, aged 39. He was soon grand Poo-bah of something or other , running for the Council and infesting the local Paper`s letters page . From there it was a swift step to boring his wife rigid about the moral deficiencies of the Labour Party .
Bursting upon the blogasphere like a slight change of humidity he is well known the ‘dainty refinement ’ of his arguments and the ‘courtly deference’ shown to others . He occupies that undervalued position of “ just another one” , giving generously of his employers time commenting in the sphere. It has even been whispered …( Gasp), that supply of newmania, exceeds demand . I know I know ..scandalous
Newmania has been an instinctive Conservative since the Unions put the lights out but as a long time non combatant he has abroad range of interests arts, music sex humour business but ,chiefly ladies and gentlemen, himself. If his blog has a settled purpose it is only that he like all the other working family men in England feels excluded not only from political life but from all public life . Blogging has allowed one more tree that would otherwise have fallen unheard ,to fall with a crack on some deserving New Labour skulls .
Newmania would like to thanks all the forced metaphors and trite conceits that have made this blurb possible ..I love you guys !!

Hmm . Odd


Ithenku

17 comments:

Old BE said...

I'm sure that's more than 200 words.

I won't hear you belittling Mr Dale's wonderful book.

Anonymous said...

Ed, newmania's piece is quite good - and he can snip it a bit if it's over 200 words.

newmania, unless the parking space business is a joke, you must have been politicised against nulab at about the same time as me - and for a similar reason initially. In your case, because they pinched your ancient car park, in my case because they pinched my ancient green space.

Though of course there were soon a great multitude of other reasons for despising nulab, initally it was all about a bit of grass or tarmac. Hm, I wonder what lesson might be drawn from that?

Newmania said...

Oh does it have to be 200 words ...oops . Btter have another go

Old BE said...

newmania's piece is quite good

I agree!

Newmania said...

Too long and dull. Its hard to wiffle about yourslef actually

Newmania said...

because they pinched your ancient car park, in my case because they pinched my ancient green space.


Anon that is interesting , I think its because its the first time for most of us that we see whats happening . For example noone asks us about mass immigration and its accelerating pace or policies that break up families . WE are not consulted about the 3,000,000 homes that are going to be foisted on the South and then one day

...they take away your Park

Old BE said...

Hey N, supply does not exceed demand on here - that was MY blog!!

It's hard to write a review about yourself and your own blog. I re-read mine and it's a load of trip. Hopefully Iain will take pity on me and publish it anyway...

Newmania said...

Oh ho are you also amongst the elite then Ed....

Old BE said...

apparently so...

CityUnslicker said...

...feels left out.

Newmania said...

I think its my comment rate on dale CU. Certainly not the quality of blogging...whatever that is

Electro-Kevin said...

How can I ever compete ?

:-((((

You once asked me how I managed to exist in 'meat world'. You should try it perhaps, Newmania - I can but wonder what you could produce with a mind free of the burdens of insurance.

Darkersideofbridgetjones said...

Just to let you know you little munchkin I voted for you.

Old BE said...

How can I ever compete?

Yours is the best blog around, EK, but you have shunned politics so Dales won't likely pick you for his political blog list! Your blog is more like meta-politics.

Newmania said...

I keep meaning to put it on my roll becuse if its not I forget to look

lilith said...

Insurance...I couldnt do it...it would be like being a plumber..."have I sealed those gas pipes properly?" etc all night long....

Newmania said...

Lillith it is exactly like that !!

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