Sunday, December 10, 2006

Worst Christmas Present Ideas ?

Mutley the Dog, (that snickering hound), has had a simply ripping idea and I am stealing it . I didn`t ask , I do not care. Don`t vist his blog if either .........

a Your gut is delicate amd prone to busting
b Your sides have a tendency to split

This was my pathetic stab , any better ideas ?

1 The Big book of Genocide- for the Arab Islamic Government of Sudan

2 A gun -for someone who hates me and is crackers
3 Some Myrrh - Don’t ask , it was a long journey and any old shit would do
4 The gift of sight - For a blind boy( he wanted socks )
5 Five more years of show biz- For Bruce Forsyth , his immortal soul was required but he seemed please with the deal
6 An exciting roof ornament - For Rod Hull and Emu
7 Addresses of the childer- For Herod , well its what he wanted
8 Pork sausage - For an Orthodox Jewish vegan who had in any case dies some years ago
9 Sixteen high class whores all night - For myself …I `m so ashamed

10.A Partridge in a Pear Tree -My true love (wanted socks)


James Higham said...

Like the myrrh. don't like the 16 whores - you don't know where they've been.

Anonymous said...

talking of 4x2s and pork sausages , proir to the new sort out at M&A the chief food buyer was an ultra orthodox frummer and was unable to taste any of the food, probably goes to way to explaoning why their profits were going down the pan

Anonymous said...

How about a 90 foot papier mache phallus for the Islington Womens Institute?

Or 100 thongs for the Girl Guides?

A meat hat for your local MP..

Anonymous said...

Uh ....I laboir away with my tediosu plitical crap and mmcghwejksrbzgrlawrlkwa

Oh Christ I `m hammered

BK:FYJF I&IF:G:Ghaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

1 million tabs of e and viagra for the monastery

turf for a islington flat dweller

a subscription to the Jewish Chronicle for Peter Hitchens

a conifer tree for a koaloa bear to live in

Also - why don't you link my blog - I'll link yours if you do!

Anonymous said...

Don`t know how to . I can hardly turn it on, sorry .

I `ll try to find out , if i could work this thing I `d take tnat stupid picture off

Philipa said...

I thought Peter Hitchens was jewish.?

Ok um.. stockings and a dickery dock ring for Anne Widdecombe.
A cardigan and tartan slippers for Peter Strigfellow.
The Contented Little Baby book for Herod.
Gym membership for Fidel Castro.
Breasts for kate Moss.
World Atlas for G.Dubya.
Bouncy castle franchise for Jordan.
Fireworks and matches for Guido.
Impeachment for Blair.
A 3 day starved Staffordshire bull terrier for Dubyas dog.
A calculator for Gordy Broon.
A weekend break in Iraq for Tony Bliar.
A medallion and packet of steredent for Prezza.
A paternity test for Blunkett.
An Eastenders vol 1-5 video collection for rebekka Wade.
A Communards greatest hits album for Ian Hislop.
A pole dancing course for Mrs Abu Hamza.
Gloves for Abu Hamza.
carrot for Rudolph if she's not too busy with her divorce lawyers.

Anonymous said...

Philippa has a private profile - I wonder if its curvey!

Anonymous said...

Wow P you are good at presents aren`t you?

Mut I `ve wondered that as well bt we shall never know

Blog Archive