Monday, November 30, 2009

Drama is So Dramatic

Ever since I `ve been hanging around this Sphere we call ‘bloga’, the same issues have circled each other in a sexy malevolent kinda way, like ‘Strictly’ contestants posing a bit before they get into the Tango .( It does Len`s nut honest ). I mean, of course , Scotland and Constitutional Reform .
Did you miss the show so far ? Well lets recap . In a thrilling pilot episode, dark brooding New Labour discovered long time sympathy shag , the blousey coquette, Ms. jocko-land playing pat -a-cake with Nationalism .At once the brutish, but vulnerable, NL realised how he had come to rely on her,threw devolution at her feet, and railed against her infatuation with Smoothy Salmon. Since then with two suitors vying for her good graces , the cunning old trout has teased her admirers into a frenzy.New Labour brought her gifts from Barnett , Smoothy Salmon whispered "circle of affluence", and dabbed the irresistible scent of freshly drilled oil behind his ears .
Meanwhile New Labour`s regular squeeze “England ”, at first bemused, has grown increasingly irate at the amount of democratic fairness and money disappearing Northwards from the love nest . Well all soaps need a comic interlude . The circle of affluence became the sink of bankruptcy, the oil is not what it was ,Ms. Jocko-land had to ask for England’s help, big time following a nasty crunch .. but Smoothy Salmon still insinuates his case….
Meanwhile Dashing Dave has been taking tea with sniffling England, whose sulks and grievances he understands .They have become an item … when it comes to it ,he will not break up a the marriage , men eh ?In a dramatic final tableau New Labour seeing that he could lose everything wails “Constitutional Reform”, into the night comforted only by the conniving slut Leggy Cleggy
.Ok enough . ENOUGH .Its more like a Russian novel than a soap anyway . For now the Nationalist fires are burning low but Salmon wants Devo light on the referendum menu. Suppose he hits the sweet spot of a a cash strapped Conservative administration increasingly wondering if the absence of a Pictish hoard of sheep stealers would be so hard to bear . Devo max ought to suit Conservatives, a fiscal split and a reduction of Scottish MP`s would reduce New Labour to its true size. Agreeing the size of the Mac-National Debt should be easy peasy lemon squeezy . The Scots as a people are famously open handed as a Summer’s day and I cannot imagine there would be any unpleasantness … * Blank look to camera *
Tune in next week for “Imagine being joined at the hip to your ex wife” Shudder ....

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