Monday, August 18, 2008

The Sensible Season

MI5 has teamed up with a homosexual lobby group Stonewall to recruit more gay spooks . It might be a idea to have only gays .They would be able to recognise to each other with the famous gay-dar and leave at the same time without any word spoken. Bum bum baaaaaaaaa!
Gay-dar is an example of the sort of groovy neo-logism loved by the press. Ever since I saw the word Faux –mosexual ( a man who pretends to be gay to increase shagging opportunities) , I have followed these fun inventions ,many of which are born at Glenda Slaggs desk I suspect.
‘-rexia ‘, is the latest must-have suffix . Starting with Anorexia, of course, it has migrated to man-orexia , , preg-orexia bride-orexia and drunko-rexia for states of food deprivation of various kinds . Kate Moss uses the word ‘rexy , to describe the too thin but still sexy look she craves . In fact the usage has now lost its precision, and branched out into obsessive-ness in general notably tano-rexia
Mathew Parris complains about the lack of words to fill obvious gaps .The person to whom you were talking, for example, cries out for “Chat –mate” . Gaelic has a useful term for the day after tomorrow ‘earar’ , surely ripe for import .

One Olympics verb is “Medalled” .Gary Glitter aka Paul Gadd aka ‘child molesting bastard’has meddled in Vietnam on at least two occasions and I am nauseated that he can slither around this country a free man.
New Words :

I thought I would have a go at a few myself
Fop-oholic ----- For a celebrity that pretends his mild drinking is a disease so as to sell books or records
Full-imia – For that version of Bulimia where you omit the vomiting as practiced by John Prescott?
Credit Brunch- An early meeting with the agency handling your search for a new job
Must –chav-item – For an ironically worn street fashion such as a diamond studded baseball cap
Men-paws-all- For that drunk women in her late 40s at the office Party....

(Nuff crap new words Ed.)


Bill Quango MP said...

Preg-gent: A man with a newborn in the house. Red/black eyes a usual symptom.

Imi-grants: benefits paid to immigrants.

i-prod: to lightly tap an ipod wearer to get them out of the way of the doors.

Blagger: Online liar.

Fake tansion : the obligatory pause on every reality type show to allow a close up of all the finalists before the winner is announced.

News Deadlines: The bit in the news where the reader recaps every story you have just watched.

Deja-View : The 5 minute 'coming up next on...' sequence in action TV shows just before the advert break, that is also repeated immediately after the advert break.

Newmania said...

Fake tansion : the obligatory pause on every reality type show to allow a close up of all the finalists before the winner is announced.

Like this one best but they were all superb efforts I prod is fabulous too!!! Good man!

CityUnslicker said...

New mania - the excessive need to distract oneself from ones work to engage in literal histrionics....

(couldn't resist! soz)

Newmania said...

I have no idea to what you refer CU ( he said stiffly )


Mark Wadsworth said...

Fundamentalists = Funded mentalists

Newmania said...


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