Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Turn Over Your Papers

1 Emily Thorn berry , Dianne Abbot and of course nuclear powered, coach built ,silk lined velour upholstered hypocrite ,Ruth Kelly got their kids out of what

A Burning building
B State Education

2 Funds thrown at education in the last ten eyars
A £400million
B £400 billion

3 What proportion of teachers have been attacked at school.
A 20% B50%

4 Children will be obliged to declare their parents degree applying for university

5 The share of working-class children attending University is lower than in the 60s

6 Proportion of Parents backing selection at 11 A 92% B 61%

7 Proportion of exams taken in Independent schools were awarded 'A' s an A 23.3% B50.8 %

8 Proportion of exams taken at Comprehensive awarded 'A's
A50.8% B15.3 %

9-1 in 5 Teenagers are unable to point to Britain on a map

Maths Labour style .
10-No1 Educational priority for labour too simplify the system whereby selective status can be challenged ( as it embarrasses the Conservatives ) guess how many occasions in the past decade there have been when parents have tried to challenge selective status … A 36 B 1

11-Teenagers read so badly they are now unable to use a Karoake machine , they have had to dumb down the lyrics. TRUE/ FALSE

12 Compose A Long and Tedious Grumble About The Failure of New Labour`s Educational Policies

On Sunday I watched the rather creepy Mr. Balls adopting the classic apologists opening on education.” Things have got a lot better but we have to do better still”. It is the sort of smarm that leaves you speechless and a necessary lie for the Brown interregnum because he was there. They cannot admit that they have been wrong for years . The gross facts are these . Three quarters of children from low income families in England and Wales failed to get five good passes at grade A in 2005 and 980,000 are in failing schools by the Governments admission and they are probably lying . David Cameron lanced the boil of fake statistics when he pointed out English and Maths were declining amongst the snow storm of useless and stupid subjects . Since then this has become to key marker amd lately there has been a lot of evidence that our international position is sliding sharply

.When we read that parents are asked to produce six forms of identification to prove they are in the catchment area they claim, we know something has gone badly wrong. . 16 London Boroughs have caught people , but then if you are the Blairs you simply get a Mr. Robinson to buy a flat in the right road and you are sorted . By this and sundry other devices the middle classes have colonised the best schools now far more privileged than Grammars .

Not that it is easy to tell if the school is any good or not . A levels have slipped into utter disrepair I lose track a bit but they were going to have an A * back in Blair`s days I remember Johnson announcing it . funding for schools to offer a Baccalaureate . Why not just stop lying about exam results ? The study of modern languages has disappeared. You see its difficult to claim you speak German when you palpably cannot . Beauty therapy , oh well we have oodles of proficient little girls in that rigorous discipline .Nearly 75 % of all pupils at state schools have dropped all languages by 15.

Education attainment and its measurement is like walking into a hall of distorting mirrors . It is said by some that Faith schools , for example do no better than others when you take their intake into account . How could you possibly measure such a thing ? These statements are trotted out on the basis of vapid assertions and self sustaining methodology. Polly Toynbee`s classic tactic is to appear to be referring to neutral research when she is referring to politically motivated number adverts which academia churns out to order. .I read in New Statesman that it was proven that grammar schools did not do particularly well if you discount for their intake.. Really ,what we know in the real world is that in N Ireland where the system has until recently remained, results are about 10 %better across the board . The point is that those not attending the Grammar benefit . What is the excuse now ?

“Well you see N Ireland has a cohesive and structured faith based society. “
“ So that improves results does it ?
“ Aha ha ha I didn’t say that now did I ….”

I was recently told off for using anecdotal information. I think as a Conservative you will tend to trust you own eyes before somebodies statistical white Rabbit .Sir John Bourne took a minute from lunching the tell the Home Office that all its measurements were so unrealisable as to be useless for prediction. We see government tables with superb schools languishing at the bottom of the table because of social intake discounts and we must again wonder if there is any science in it at all.
The Public seems to agree with 76% wanting a return to more rigorous streaming . Psssst Blair agreed hence the idea of getting religious groups to run academies ….sadly Brown has brought then back under the Council.( A little noticed but dramatic shift to the left).

13 Compose A Trite and Self Satisfied Cure All In The Manner Of A Taxi Driver

1 Allow Teachers to exclude Pupils quickly and easily . Make them legally strong and pupils weak
2 School Uniforms strictly adhered to
3 Schools rules strictly adhered to and the evolution of traditions. Brutal discipline if necessary
4 Setting in schools and a top stream , a Grammar stream.
5 Reset O and A levels back to meaningful; difficulty don`t ditch them they worked and have one national standard. Appoint a body to maintain that standard and ditch al other measures.
6 Pay teachers in difficult subjects more ( The NUT are against idea of course), also make it easier to fire failing teachers of which there are many
7 Reintroduce school sport and make it inclusive but competitive as in the class competitions we had
8 Abandon many of the foolish ~”personal teaching “ideas on the teaching colleges .
9 Defeat the teaching Unions
10 Remove charitable status from Public schools and oblige then to teach the national syllabus which will be exactly the same as everyone else and vastly simplified for all
11 Introduce vouchers and allow a wide variety of bodies to start schools in competition with the state

14 Have a dig at Progressives

Some of this may well be be Conservative Party Policy and certainly many parents would be relieved.Andy Warhol had a gorgeous collection of renaissance classics in his New York flat, well he had to live with them didn`t he I wonder how many progressives would , like Ruth Kelly , send their child to a newmania model school if no-one was looking and they thought sheer social privilege wasn’t going to be enough.



Answers are all B and TRUE , of course


Philipa said...

Fab post N, I can't understand why it's been mooted that all teachers should get a masters degree. Why? What possible use can a masters degree be to a primary school teacher? I don't understand - it just seems more work for teachers and more useless posturing by the State.

Newmania said...

IB quite agree P, being a good teacher in my exp is pretty much the same as being good at anything and your academic acheivemnts are not vital...at least up to Olevel ond mostly beyond

Little Black Sambo said...

Did they say the teachers were going to have to WORK for this "master's" degree? (Do they mean an MA?) I thought they would be just given out with the morning coffee in the form, presumably, of a bit of paper.

Ed said...

N I disagree with your prescription even though I would like the individual schools to display the characteristics you propose.

Why? Well the reason our education system has got to where it is is a direct result of trying to apply methods and theories uniformly across the country. In fact every child learns differently and families would benefit from being able to select a school which teaches to their child's abilities. Which is why there must be more diversity in methodology not less.

My central government solution would be very simple and that would be to devolve all education policy to the LEAs - including raising the money. Allow LEAs to innovate or not and see what different areas and councillors come up with.

What is suitable for Bucks might not work in Lambeth which is why we have GOT to get away from teaching by central diktat, whoever's diktat it might be.

Newmania said...

There will finding for them to upgrade LBS so I read in the Guardian

Newmania said...

LEAs - including raising the money. Allow LEAs to innovate or not and see what different areas and councillors come up with

Arf ha ha ha ...you want the LEAs to do it ...Ed I cannot imagine a worse idea.Brown is putting the Academies back under the control of the LEAs in effect , they are hives of the siliest ideas imaginable , they do not know anything about education , not compared to teachers and parents and that would be a non choice for everyone in their given area.

Can you inaguine what a predominantly Muslim area would be like ?

No no no. I do not want to impose all the ideas I can up with i thgink sucha schoo, would be great for inner cities but the important idea is the coucher system allowing freedom to choose . Then we will see which survive based on their results .,

Parent power . not , for god`s sake LA power , not with education. Perhaps there is away of combinng the good aspects of both needs .Local is better is a good overall principal

Although in some areas I would prefer municipal powers extended , planning permission for example

Ed said...

Well N under my scheme sensible councils would introduce a voucher scheme and show to the rest how things CAN be done. In loony left places the schools couldn't get any worse.

I would like to see a voucher scheme but am hesitant to have it imposed centrally. Antis will always find a way round centrally dictated policies.

People would soon vote out councils if they thought their kids weren't getting the schooling they deserved. What better way of reconnecting with the electorate?

Newmania said...

In loony left places the schools couldn't get any worse.

But those are the only places where there is a problem . In Islignton the best appraoch the Labour lot could come up with was to promise to hand education to Camden. Thats how little trusted they were.

The voucher idea has worked elsewhere so it has some facts behind it. You see without this transfer of power outside the bureaucracy you cannot poltically take on the NUT which you have to do or the culture of idleness that infects teachers .

Schools are not that complicated . Fine schools have had no facilities except a good teacher a disciplined class and supportive parents. You need a high dose of at least two and preferably all three.Everyone knows this and you are right given these basics many diferent methods would work.

The difficulty is LEAs are empires and careers and they are not helpful organisations, in Holland a 10% incursion of alternatives spread a new standard though the whole system.

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

Tee hee. Excellent, Mr. N. I'm already tearing my non-existent hair out.

Anonymous said...

Not so sure about across the board "brutal discipline" ... schools are very dull and worthless to a large group of children, who will never succeed academically. They go to school to fail every day and as is quite human react badly to this. In many cases only a firing squad would be enough to induce them to sit still and even then they are plotting how to carry out their arson of the school as soon as they are big enough...I would make academic school voluntary from age 14 or so....and allow a great flexibility in the subjects chosen to be studied...

Ed said...

Praps you're right Mr N

Newmania said...

In many cases only a firing squad would be enough to induce them to sit still

Now your talking !!

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