Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Naming Of A Politician

A passing tramp models the new Lib Dem Footwear of choice

Whats In A Name

What any politician needs are sound instincts , rhetorical abilities and, nowadays, a full head of hair . Above all though he needs a funny name and an unnamed Tory MP has come up with a doozy for Clegg. , someone said ...” .Nick Clegg is a screaming Euro fanatic man child , he’s half Dutch , he should be called Nick Clog "There you have it Nick Clog. It has all the elements. It sounds funny, it points out his weak ties with the country and rips straight into the reason why no Conservative and increasingly few Lib Dems should have anything to do with him. To the question at the heart of Europe ..” Do you want to be ruled by foreigners ?” His answer is yes.

Infamy infamy....

Notes : The predominance of the Murdoch Press has been well publicised recently in anticipation of the Lisbon charade of red lines and obfuscation. I have read articles attacking the monopoly of Murdoch, in the Guardian , the Independent and today the New Statesman . I haven’t looked at the Mirror but I expect it’s the same . Needles to say Private Eye continues its fun and games at the expense of the Dirty Digger. At what point this Press barrage directed at Murdoch starts to look ridiculous. Its not as if the Mail or the Telegraph on the side of International Capitalism.
It strikes me that this is smashing the window with the hammer provided, and getting out the emergency argument before the game begins. The Euro loons are scared to death, not at the additional loss of sovereignty, but that people will see how far we have gone . That is the real issue and always was. Not this Constitution but the whole misguided endeavour. Put it this way . They say Maastricht was more fundamental. I say that’s the main reason we need a referendum now .

Football Does Not Exist

Football: Now theres a subject where I feel European. Why the hell did we have to have an English manager? Sven , I recall, waltzed us through the qualifiers and we had to enter the Grand Prix with a British Leyland TR 7 . I missed it yesterday but last I heard the score was One Nil . I planned to sit twiddling my abdomen hair and relishing the victory over a cup of tea . When I got home Mrs. N said to me “Oh dear they lost 2:1 ...still its on now I suppose you will want to watch”
Jaw slack with disbelief I of course replied ,”No I f****** well do not . I `m quite miserable enough thanks . Quick talk about something else...Jesus ... etc.”

It didn`t Work Last Time

"I'll tell you, we're still fighting for this title, and he's still got to go to Middlesbrough and get something. I'll tell ya, honestly, I will love it if we beat them, love it." Kevin Keegan, 1996.

"We're not giving up. We'll take it to the end. It's a tough place to go, Israel. Russia, the pressure's on again. They have to go and win. [I'll tell ya, honestly, I will love it if we beat them, love it.]" Steve McClaren, 2007

deep deep sigh..............

My Wife Doesn’t Understand Me

Women do not get it do they. Years ago, a friend at little school, asked for an Arsenal shirt ( Hurrah !), for Christmas . His mother , on finding they had run out bought a Spurs ( yuk) nonsense instead. He was , of course , traumatised and remains emotionally disturbed to this day. His mother was uncomprehending .....” you meant a specific sort of shirt ..? Aren`t they the same ? “Women , know your place .....

Thick Blue Wavy Lines

Any way on with the Rugby ...Come On Engerland ! Confusion to Nick Clog and lets replace some thin red lines with a big fat stretch of sea. The Channel.


Philipa said...

Know your place?? Not so Sir, I had exactly the same trouble with my mother and I would suggest that it's worse for girls:

Are boys overly embarrased when their mother hasn't bothered to notice their child is nearly 6ft tall and they are still buying socks for a 4ft tall one?

Are boys overly embarrassed when their mother refuses to buy them a bra, saying... no, I can't tell you what she said, it's still too painful remember.

Sod football shirts - are boys overly embarrassed when their mother won't buy them the sanitary protection of their choice and insists on something that looks like a rolled up towel with loops which you have to attatch with a safety pin - yes guys, you have to fumble near your genitals with a sharp object!

And when everyone is wearing Levi strauss jeans... well thank God I had an older sister and avoided the thin cotton 'fashion' rubbish that came from round the market - 'well it's only for Philipa, it's not worth buying anything decent she'll only grow out of it.' would be my mothers excuse - I am still waiting to grow into my school blazer and I'm over 40.

And finally, when you've been put on report for two years at school because your mother wouldn't buy you the correct gym kit and the teachers just assumed you'd been given the money and spent it, why? Because we lived in a big detatched house and had 5 cars so that automatically made me a liar and a theif? Not! Well THEN you can bleat about some football team.

Newmania said...

Cough cough....can I take it thatvyou are notngoing for this know your place scheme then P

Alright alright ...there is a piece in the New Staesman demoinstrating quite convioncingly that women do badly out of divorce which you would like as well today

Anonymous said...

Which one is Nick Clegg or Clogg - is he the one with a face like a pudding or the old one? I have asked Guido - but as usual he is rubbish and does not know.

Newmania said...

Pudding faced child man Mutley

Philipa said...

The New Statesman? nearly bought that today but got a photography mag instead - but you're right, I do read rubbish like this from time to time.

Wasn't too impressed with Ian Hislop ratting out Boz a little bit. Not that Boz would mind, he can take it :-))

Crikey 2pm, must do some work!

CityUnslicker said...

England to be saved by Israel.

I hope they do it just so i can buy the Guardian the next day and watch how they try to spin it!

Newmania said...

That would be amusing CU but hardly likely I fear

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