Thursday, August 23, 2007

End Of The Lad`s Mag





The demise of the Lads Mag seems imminent . Wimmin everywhere are cock a hoop today that men seem to have ceased to find scantly clad women attractive.....( raises eyebrow).Only a browser myself, but they symbolised a bloke-lash of the 90s and naughties. Here’s the ‘savage indictment of a failing sector.’

ABC circulation figures show an overall year on year drop of 25.9% for FHM, 18.1% for Zoo, and 9% for Nuts.Loaded the iconic ground breaking Title is down a whopping , as they say , 35%.. The figure for Loaded is especially interesting as it was this mag, brandishing Nick Hornby and tits ,that blew up the cosy cashmere and squash racket world of GQ .GQ soon withdrew its pledge not to feature honeeez and trotted like a jaded swinger into the soft porn ‘disco’

Is the Lad culture dead then ? Well I think its subversive potential is mostly spent and porn is increasingly available elsewhere. The market is too crowded and the quality has become woeful. I wonder what normal women make of this . Men wanting to look at naked women is not likely to go away , where after all would all the little killjoys come from if they didn`t.That’s what we are designed for and that’s the way the honeeeez like it ,for the most part. Incidentally it’s a myth that breasts are really just for breast feeding. Our near higher Ape relatives get all the milk they need from a small nipple . The fatty pendulous and deliciously inviting breast is designed to be looked at ...rude not to in fact !
So two laddish fingers up at the smug mingers relishing the travails of the lads mag . They that admitted men like the female form and it was entirely healthy. For most of the 20th century through Graham Greene to Martin Amis men lived in two worlds .A Public world in which acetic Puritanism was the norm and a wildly divergent private world which only occasionally burst like Magma (or hot chilli) into public view . Lads Mags are part of the West shedding the odd dualism that is a unfortunate by product of Christianity. Body and Soul , Sex and Love , Public and Private men today are closer to the whole deal than ever and Lads mags are a step on the way.

The asymmetry has been this. While men are exhorted and cajoled , to love the whole woman, women are still allowed to sneer at most of a man. Its time for the women to stop moaning and love us the way we are ....

or should say start moaning and love us the way we are

IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH
'Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine has ditched tennis babe Maria Sharapova (pictured above) because she is a "terrible lover" who refused to move or moan during sex, “. Levine told Russian magazine Exile "She wouldn't make any noise during sex. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she'd be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it 'ruined her concentration.'

14 comments:

Travis Bickle said...

If only she'd stop moaning and screaming whenever she hits a tennis ball then you could watch Wimbledon without switching to mute again.

Or he could marry her and she'd never stop bleeding moaning

The Hitch said...

The Hitch is keen to find out how this young man became so knowledgeable about necroplilliac amphibian sex.
is there website?

Newmania said...

Hitch ....eh? Oh the frog ...very good Hitch,,,..I see what you did there . Course there is a look in nay Fairy tale .

HI TB

( I am with you on part two my brother!!)

The Hitch said...

TB
Excellent point , obviously a man of experience

Stan! said...

Lad mags play to the lowest common denominator - they're not interesting, informative, funny in any real way, and they don't take much talent or ingenuity to produce.You actually end up a little stupider after you read/look at one. In a general sense, all magazine sales regardless of genre are way down in the UK....

Newmania said...

Lad mags play to the lowest common denominator

So what? people are composed of many parts . Perhaps sometimes they want a hamburger sometimes ? They did produce a minor revolution in the acceptability of the male sexulaity which was a good thing. When they started they had some good writing Nick Hornby for exmaple .

mutleythedog said...

I love you the way you are Mr N - as horny as a rutting stag and about as subtle...

Stan! said...

Nicely-phrased, Mr Mutley.
Appealing to the "lowest common denominator" ....I thought that might get your dander up. I like to inject a bit of blatant provocation from time to time. Of course, I don't care what people read. Nor does the publishing industry care what it prints. Without the lowest common denominator, life would be a trifle dull....We can't all be Cranmer.

Newmania said...

God no.I was more thinking of something that CS lewis said about enjoying children`s books as an adult , that you add rather tha replace if you want to grow . A complete person would be capable fo a full range of enjoyments . In early Literature there as less demarcation . High romance and fart gags are alongside eachother in the Arthurian cycle and Chaucer of course

Mu Tai Dong said...

FRiendly Eve very sad...

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

Has the lad's mag market gone tits up?

Newmania said...

Mutt if i am too blame then HItch is doubly so but I do feel bad which i will cure by blaming other people !!! LIKE YOU WHY NOT

Newmania said...

Hi Mermaid yes it has its about to bottom out though

Jenny! said...

Dead frogs suck...I agree wiht him on that!

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