The Doctor he said ...

DOCTORS

The thing that seems to have struck people more than anything about the Glasgow bomb was the fact that Doctors were involved. I distrust Doctors , if you are at deaths door they can be relied on to pull you through. You have to admit it did make you proud to be British hearing the plucky Glaswegians congratulate themselves on a good kicking being handed out . Three Doctors and no deaths ,..pitiful , Harold Shipman , one Doctor and 300 dead. We don`t mess around here in the UK. In any case they could have killed a lot more people by not washing their hands

PETE DOHERTY

Someone enquired as to who or what this cultural icon ( they say ) is . I `m afraid the exotic fruit of my ignorance has been exposed the inclement British cultural weather and I now have a rough idea . Like Kate Moss his earnings have been boosted considerably by public drug addiction but isn`t he just a bit fat for a heroin drug addict .

What does he cut it with ....a Hollandaise Sauce ?

FRANK FIELD

Long a hero of mine I like this stat of his . In the current tax system a couple with two children would have to work 100 hours more to get the same take home pay as a single mother with two children. Grrrrrrrrrrr.....

PICTISH HOARD

It has been remarked often that Brown would have got his act into gear a lot quicker if Chelsea had been flooded . Had Aberdeen been flooded the Scottish parliament would simply have soaked up the water with currency and sent England the bill....well they would wouldn’t they.

THE RACE CARD

A friend of mine has been in all sorts of trouble . He is a local teacher and had been accused of racism by a black teacher. The allegation is false and he demanded that his accuser come to a special meeting to explain himself . A full apology was forthcoming but not before some interesting details came out .
The witness said :
“ I `m sorry , I have obviously misjudged you but I heard you say in the pub we were right to stay in Iraq because we were ethnically superior”. In fact the words used were “Ethically superior “

How can any teaching get done in this sort of atmosphere “ I heard you in the pub ?”. I can’t see what’s so wrong with the first statement myself