Friday, March 16, 2007

Sod Orrrrf with your Red Nose


Can I put it simply .Plague famine and malnutrition, in fact a new apocalypse , are insufficient reason for inflicting Lenny Henry and the Vicar of Sodding Dibley on us .
I detest red nose day , I do not like celebrities and I will not be giving anything at all. I will be avoiding all contact and sneering at anyone I see in a barrel of gunge.
If challenged I am try to say something about charity not working and aid despoiling sub Saharan Africa .I might mention the recent Peter Hitchens expose on the extent of executive remuneration in Charities and the fees paid to performers . None of this is true , I just can`t stand the boring TV and I will not be dragooned into anything by a lot of disingenuous fascist bullies

Tease your sanctimony to a tumescence of glistening splendour if you like , but I hate red nose day and its time it was put out of its misery.

Oh Jesus here they come with the bucket …….

27 comments:

Croydonian said...

Amen Brother Mania. There is nothing quite so unfunny as enforced jollity.

The Ludingtonian said...

Well said.

What is it with the British that we cannot bring ourselves to operate outside the parameters of conformity unless it's for chariddee?

Spend a day walking backwards and wearing your pants on head, if you must. But don't sodding try to excuse it by saying it's for sodding charity. And for heaven's don't expect me to put my hand in my pocket to sodding help you assuage your sodding discomfort.

Newmania said...

Brother C and Ludington ...thankgod for that


Theres good article in the Speccie about it and Hitchens had a brilliant lasceration of the chroty in=ustry a week or so ago

istanbultory said...

It's all got very tedious hasn't it? No red noses to be tolerated in these parts.

Ellee said...

It's a bit old hat now, but I had to throw a couple of pounds in the collection box in Tesco this morning when I saw one of their meat counter assistants sitting in a bath full of cold baked beans - and a red nose and big smile too. She has on a two hour stint. People were walking by ignoring her, so I said: "Hey, come on, cough up, it's the least you can do after all this trouble she has gone to for charity." So the money started to pour in.

My normal position in Tesco is by the fresh chickens to check they have not been imported from Thailand and warning shoppers off them if their source of origin looks suspect. They always thank me for bringing this to their attention.

Newmania said...

I `d love to see that Ellee , to tell you the truth I felt a bit mnean about this. I may do more consiedred opievce about charity when i have the time over the wekend . At work its just quick bits

You`ve been a bit quiet recently IT I always go and check what you are up to

mutleythedog said...

What is the Red Nose for then? Do explain - Ellee does a great job at Tesco by the way, inbetween stacking the shelves!

electro-kevin said...

Ellee - a modern heroine, swoon.

I wrote and complained to the BBC this week that we were being fobbed off with 'crap' tv in the name of charriddeee. We've endured almost two weeks of pub kareoke without the benefit of being sozzled. I said "Charity is no excuse for this lazy crap and we deserve better" I got such a lovely reply that I felt bad about using an expletive. I bought an extra red nose instead of putting money in the family swear box.

My gran loved to eff & jeff I can tell you. She looked all cuddly and demure but her favourite joke involve a parrot that that got shove down a toilet with its throat cut. The punchline ?

"If she can survive with a gash like that so can I."

Philipa said...

Newmania - "Hitchens had a brilliant lasceration of the chroty in=ustry a week or so ago" - haha! I've converted you.

Boz's thread on junior doctors is attracting some interesting comments. Apparently there's a march in London tommorow. It seems odd in a way to leech medical staff from a continent that requires so much aid when we have our own staff that are being made unemployed. That's probably an over simplification but the whole medical migrant thing is odd. Big continent I know. Lot's of mouths to feed. And why is it d'ya think that every image of starving people involves a baby at the breast? Don't just give these poor people rice and medicine - neuter the men.

Newmania said...

- neuter the men.


Phillipa you are onto your favourite subject again...I crave special dispensation not to be neutered...please

CityUnslicker said...

I did not watch any of it or donate. I fell in very good spirits today too.

happy weekend all!

Ms Smack said...

Is Red Nose Day over there sending a different message to over here? Its one of the most embraced charities because it provides research and charity to learn more about SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Is yours a different cause?

What charities do you support, if any?

Margorie said...

Hi Miss Smack. Red nose day supports lots of different charities, but I can't reel them off. The problem is with all the crap programmes leading up to it, and the main event itself, headed by Lenny bloody Henry. Enough to put you off the whole thing, and keep your hand firmly in your pocket, unfortunately.
Having said that, I found myself watching a fascinating programme this week about help for people with mental health problems. It was only at the end of the prog that I found out it was part of the red nose day thing - some of the money goes towards funding day centres and other help. Lenny Henry was nowhere to be seen, thank God.

Philipa said...

Good news Ms Smack and Margorie.
Happy Birthday David.
Happy weekend all.
Here we are playing in the garden and it's forcast snow on monday!

electro-kevin said...

I was neutered just before Christmas actually.

Er ... too much information ???

Newmania said...

What charities do you support, if any?


Miss Smack I am obviously going to fall out of your good books here. I am highly scepticial abou the whole notion of charity and the red nose day sanctimony fest is a hideous aesthetic outrage .

I `ll admit I was talking for effect but the Nose thing is the "Poor of Africa".

I do not support charities although i can and do have my arm twisted on occassion Mt belief is thast my time is better spent on the political dispensation of the countruy which the primary way in which the mass of lives are changed for the better.

There is a place for small scale discrete fast response caarity but the major charities have become unwieldy businesses that waste money and campaign for Liberal left agendas which I detest.

If for example you wish to help children my view is that you should start with the benefits system.

But I do feel a bit bad about it now you put it like that

Newmania said...

I was neutered just before Christmas actually.


Wow Kev , what are you getting for you birthday ? Its a tough life in the West I see

Newmania said...

Margorie ...Yes thats the way I feel about it ...

electro-kevin said...

Err ... not 'tough' in the West anymore 'fraid Newmania.

Newmania said...

The West , where men were men and so were the women...or was it the other way round?

electro-kevin said...

They're much more tender down south actually ...


...fnarr fnarrr !

Philipa said...

Newmania said "If for example you wish to help children my view is that you should start with the benefits system"

Ah, you mean abolish it and let any silly girl who get's pregnant in the hope of an easy life to go hang herself? Hmn. I suppose it doesn't occur to you that MEN have a responsibility in this and if they behaved like gentlemen and didn't have sex with the silly girl (or even wore a condom) then there wouldn't be a problem now would there? They could even grow up a bit and get a job, marry the girl and then get her pregnant. But of course men aren't expected to be grown-ups. It's generally accepted for some strange reason for a man to try it on and entirely the womans responsibility to be the grown up in this scenario. Damned if she's seeking an easy life? It's not that easy. It's not at all easy. And it wouldn't be possible without some bloke setting the er.. balls in motion.

Neutering the men might be considered charitable? To the women involved with them I mean.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Love it, Mr N! We don't have anything like Red Nose Day here - anything like that would be utterly incomprehensible to the Sicilians - but I used to hate the TV on this day. I also object to being made to feel I don't have a choice when it comes to giving to charity.

Margorie said...

Welshcakes, that's exactly it: feeling obliged to give your money, even harassed into doing so. Normally I'm a generous person, but Comic Relief had made me feel distinctly uncharitable.

electro-kevin said...

I did my bit just before Christmas.

Well - she went through all the IVF so it only seemed fair. (I volunteered)

When she was taking me I was really quiet in the car "It's like taking an animal to the vet" she said. I said "You will hold my hand won't you ?" I'd held hers after all, "No, I've arranged to meet the girls for coffee" she replied.

It was unpleasant and much worse than what she went through. 4 out of 10 on the Richter and the smell of burning urgh !!! I couldn't resist walking out in fake agony in front of the guys waiting for their turn.

Broke my foot 2 days later coming down the stairs trying to stop 'em jangling.


See, Philipa - we do suffer.

Ms Smack said...

oh i'm sorry. It wasnt my intention to make you feel bad. I was mostly seeking clarification that we label our RND something different here.

I was going to write something much better until I read Electric Kev's final comment and could barely contain my laughter enough to type.

Ironically the word verification is GG U OK?

Phil Houghton said...

It's great not working in an office any more. I don't get to have the same old argument again and again, just sit back and muse on the futility of it all...

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