Look Back In Languor

Don’t know if I `ll do this regularly or not, but at all events ,welcome to a more than usually aimless meander around the silly stories I `ve enjoyed lately. It seems the police share my manyana attitude judging from the BBC News Headline

“Another schoolboy shot dead in London- Police to hold urgent talks” ……..well lets have a chat shall we then………

PINKY MASSACRE

You might think , “OAP bit off neighbour’s little finger in row over geraniums “,would be hard to top . It is a goody , apparently Pamela Fox , 65,spat the severed digit into Maija Andric`s face . It was a two year simmer which started over guess what ? Parking spaces. The very same issue that got me into politics so keep you hands well away from my mouth lefties.!

FRAUDS GET FILM

There is hope for Blair after all . The famously lip synching Milli Vanilli are about to be recipients of the full Hollywood treatment. Jeff Nathanson, who was the screen writer for ,“Catch Me If You Can “, explained that he had always be fascinated by frauds and phoneys. So I’m sure we can all suggest his next subject .
The intriguing thing about Milli Vanilli is that while they were actually involved in the whole silly game they began to believe they could sing themselves . The German producer Frank Farian got so frustrated with them that he outed them and the ensuing scandal lead eventually to depression drugs a death for Rob Pilatus . Isn’t it peculiar how fame warps people’s minds . That name Rob …hmmmm

ROBBIE

Similarly Robbie Williams was given fictitious song writing credits for Guy Chamber`s sometimes excellent material. This was a Royalty sharing ruse that is common in the Music biz , but then he began to think he could write his own stuff. The resulting melange of risible doodling has nearly sunk EMI and is commonly reckoned to be the worst record ever made. Poor old Robbie ,faced with the truth that he is and always will be no more than a fat tap dancer from Stockport , he`s gone druggy to. Where do these grandiose delusions come from though.

MORE FILM NEWS

Incidentally there is also a film in the pipe line to tell the story of Charles De Menzes. .I wonder whose story they are going to tell exactly . I will be curious as to how the scene at Stockwell Tube Station is played and looking out for the word . Oops

TIM RICE FEELS IGNORED

Poor Tim Rice just feels utterly spent and empty darling . The Tories just don’t love him anymore. ”Dave and his dynamic thrusting team are simply not interested in me or my Neanderthal views. They couldn’t give a stuff what I think” (Speccie). Well I do know how he feels perhaps he can write a song or the ribbon of many colours that is due to replace my beloved Blue Rosette. What Colour will it be Tim ? Altogether…
……. red and yellow and green and brown
And scarlet and black and ocher and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white ….and so on infinitum

( Newmania fact . I played Joseph in the Primary School production and had a goodish Treble voice .)

TODDLER FIGHTING

A really nasty story this about a group of women forcing their 2 and 3 year olds to fight each other . It was filmed and the footage “shocked and stunned all who saw it “. Its the details . The little boy repeatedly cries “I don’t want to “and is called a “wimp and a faggot”. There are some things that I just do not understand at all and this is one of them . Perhaps with all this banging on about the how wonderful the family is we should bear in mind it isn`t always .As I recently mentioned the most likely people to steal from the old are their own relatives and the people torturing these children were their own mothers .

IT GETS WORSE

Then a new born girl was discovered in a bin having been dumped there by her 19 year old mother Samantha Robertson The baby may be returned to the mother who claims she was to scared to tell her parents she was pregnant. Does that justify attempted murder then ? Not for me ; but with pro abortionist women seeking the right to pursue their unwanted teenagers down the street with a baseball bat , I may be not with the zeitgeist here.

BACK TO THE 70s

Jammie Dodgers and Wagon Wheels no longer contain artery clogging trans fats announced Burton’s foods .Ahhh Wagon Wheels that takes me back to the 70s . I actually had one of the first Choppers in the Street because Newmania Senior worked in the States and was the coolest thing in the playground , I thought .
I bought K-tel Top of the Pops records and my favourite band were Sweet. In fact I `m not at all sure that you can top Ballroom Blitz to this day .

MONEY ..what is it worth eh ?

A Los Angeles Zoo paid a feng shui expert £2300 so three golden monkeys from China will feel at home ( In their swinging pad!)…Amazing. Meanwhile a Peckham Preacher who took money from clients whose fertility he assisted by the power of prayer has been refused legal aid to battle against his extradition to Kenya. Less amazing . Inevitable ..there seems to be about one of these a month.



INTERNET CASANOVA

Hey turn down the light as and put some soft music on . Welcome to my love salon. Casanova con men (like me ), are targeting the lonely so says the Office of Fair Trading ..(actually anyone will do .) they befriend them , before starting to mention an urgent operation or being stranded abroad. So what’s the harm in that then , everyone gets something out of the deal . Don’t be put off send me your money ,and if you are a women …I love you.

BEEN THERE

The number of Drivers advertising their gas guzzlers on E bay has gone up 23 percent since July says the auction website and there’s a seventy five percent increase in people buying motorbikes. Of course Red Ken is to blame for this but I `m alright I already have a motor bike, when I need a Pizza delivery job I come with my own kit.

ROUND ONE

A gang of happy slappers got more than they bargained for when they picked on ex amateur boxer Curtis Mulcare 31. Mr . Mulcare put two of them in hospital and a further four were arrested .One of them had approached him at a bus stop and slapped in this face I do hope it was one of the ones in hospital.


In the world of silly otherwise there was the discovery that Cleopatra was ugly .So what was it that first attracted you to the Queen of the wealthiest grain basket in the Ancient world Mark Anthony ?Some things are pretty constant aren’t they. A lethal pink bunny was recalled by Fisher Price and Pubs are closing at five a week say CAMRA

HAGUE THE SOT

The best thing to do is to start drinking early and often. Ask William Hague who said this in an interview with a lad`s Mag years ago “ My holiday job was as a drivers mate , delivering the bottles and beer around South Yorkshire. We used to have a pint at every stop and we had ten stops a day …Then go out in the evening to the pub.”
Impressive but when GQ questioned the veracity of the boastful Yorkshireman staff at Conservative Central Office , no less, squealed” We can get you firm evidence he drank 14 pints , he used to come home completely plastered”. Should have stuck to the skunk really . Less trouble


Next up . Scottish Local elections and the end of the|Union