Thursday, May 03, 2007

Don`t Get Me Started

Its conceivable that there are people out there who do not devour stupid stories like little spicy comestibles , but I will never understand them . When all day it has been ‘Browne rent boy shame’ I have been fixated by the fate of Val Temple’s amusing confections named Robin Tarts and Miss Piggy cakes . Councillors of Weymouth felt that the vendor was implying the presence of real Robin meat and Miss Piggy Cake was woefully lacking in Pork although it did sport an amusing sugar pig .I can only assume there is some EU maggot at the centre of this apple but Mrs V was , of course, purveying a Muppet themed novelty snack adding , she hoped, a little levity to the culinary experience.. She should have known better. Ivan Hancock Dorset County Council’s trading Standards a Officer has made even more of a twerp of himself by defending his prescription the basis that ..oh god life’s too short…..

We haven’t heard a lot about Political correctness for a while and strictly speaking this is not its pure form which refers to such occasions as a women being ordered to remove her porcelain pigs on the grounds they would upset Muslims ( True) . This is just the regulatory incontinences that afflicts our supine nation. Nonetheless it is part of the unholy Trinity of ,elf-an-safety , PC madness and , victimisis. All symptoms of the same malaise. The smallest idiocy is like the cough Mimi lets out at the beginning of La Boheme . You know bloody well she is going to die tragically of consumption from the off and these small *coughs* are similarly ominous . So I say , we should not be sneered out of pointing out fingers and shouting “ Stranger Stranger “ when each alien incursion into our Liberties creeps up like a Catholic Priest on a choirboy. It’s a game of who blinks first and I do not intend to let any of this polluting offal rot down into acceptability without bitching for England every step of the way.

In this spirit of cussed resistance lets have wander through the surreal garden of PC Britain pausing to scoff as we pass the macabre exhibits.

Life on Mars was generally agreed to be good quality toffee but not for some . For the self flagellating Chris Keates ( Gen Sec of a Teaching Union ) the use of such terms as “ Fairy Boy” was tantamount to a homophobic pogrom complete with burning torches and pitchforks.
Torbay Councillor Colin Carwood has required the removal of Torbay’s delightfully optimistic Palm trees because ..wait for it ..” What if one for those leaves caught a child in the eye” . Quite seriously he said “ it’s a bit like keeping tigers lovely to watch but you wouldn’t want them prowling the street “. .Logicians will spot the error here .. It is not like keeping Tigers . I could pass on to the lack of adequate secure accommodation for the cerebrally challenged here but manfully I`ll resist.

In Islington we used to have fireworks nights and I was looking forward to talking my young son to his first bonfire . Sadly it is now to expensive thanks to the efforts of dodgy briefs cashing in on the blame bonanza New Labour have so carefully tended . There is an answer though. In llfracocmbe Devon 3000 people turned up in 2006 to watch a big screen virtual bonfire. Sounds …um.. Boring .

There was jubilation when Lord Justice Baker saved a village fair by kicking out a claim from a rancid oldster blaming the hole the Maypole was in , for his broken leg. The green was saved from becoming solely a venue for drug dealing vandalism and the usual hobbies of the rural wasteland. Gymkhanas , concerts , and many more of those occasions s on which people .met out of pure joy have been crushed under the wheel of limitless Liability. Small stuff ? Is it when our public spaces are echoing vaults of alienation and loneliness and nihilistic self destruction

Miss Katharine Tofei (38) got £1350,000 from Bonk Paribas ( sorry little bro used to work there ), because of a “Culture of sexism” . Well that’s good work if you can get it . She was apparently asked “ To take a client our because he fancied her “ ..Oh disaster. What unique and dreadful suffering and just look at the money. Such is the paranoia of men in the teaching profession that they are obliged to join the NUT because of the legal fund they have against Paedophile accusations. Lovely Boris pointed out that it has come to the point when even bumping into a child can cause difficulties . No wonder we cannot get enough male teachers with the inevitable effect on the discipline of young boys. Everywhere everything is someone’s fault and someone has to pay. Establish a victim be it child or woman and then all sense is politely requested to leave the table and make use of the ivory inlaid pistol provided.

More seriously teaching the holocaust facts has been quietly dropped in case it is “ too upsetting” .
I`ll be mummy and pass out the translation shall I ? . This means that some Muslims have threatened to create mayhem and we all know what bureaucrats given a choice between right or easy .. Publicly funded Student bodies ( Star) attempted to ruin the career of David Coleman the Oxford demographic Professor and spokesperson for migration watch . They smeared him with the suggestions of “Racism “ of course , thereby seeking to hide government lies both about the number and contribution of immigrants . Inestimable says Broon , “A Mars bar a month”, says the Professor ,who happens to be right . Ethnic diversity quotas are imposed in the name of some misconceived social engineering project leading in one case to the relocation of 80 jobs from Northants to Leicester because the people of “ Corby “ were too white Thus the trivial blink soon fades into a palpable step backwards . PC Anthony Mulhall was dragged through a mangle because he had the brazen temerity to use force to apprehend a black woman resisting arrest . ‘Miss Cromer lives with her two year old son on benefits’ she was drunk , wildly abusive and physically frenzied. To her great credit Beverly Jameson coordinator of the South Yorkshire Black Police association showed a sort of loyalty we used to take for granted . She explained that the CCTV footage in total showed a man doing his job and that race was irrelevant. Why then was he suspended ? Its because the police have become politicised and driven entirely by illusory goals and “Image” requirements and image is to do with political correctness.
I was infuriated by “ Rachel of North London bleating on about Patrick Mercer’s sacking . “ I know him? “she name-dropped . What she cannot understand is that her Liberal cant is exactly the reason a somewhat ill considered remark is now a non negotiable political capital offence. Cameron had no choice so now is the time to admit something we the British Public are implicated in the whole tawdry circus of the blame game . So in thrall are many of us we do not even notice our mental slavery. Wake up Neo ..wake up. “!

There are paradoxes ;John James, 37, obtained £15000 for being accused of selling drugs . It was a mistake , he was innocent but because he was black he claimed discrimination and pocketed a handy bonus for standing around in Mac Donalds. What are the police to do certain sorts if crimes are overwhelmingly committed by black men , naturally thy are going to fall under increased levels of suspicion. Mr. James, a fireman, admitted that he understood the problems although he was shaken by the experience.£ 250000 was spent on two underground workers /( Rozza and Cooney ) who allegedly made racist jokes with the black jelly baby in the jelly baby packet. The victim soi disant was a friend and remained so . Do you notice that many black people do not want this patronising special treatment ? Oh how the Liberal worms hate that

The BBC is the very lair of the Mantioch . It ran twenty four hours of ‘Britain is Police State ’ when Plod released two suspects of a plot to behead a British Muslim Soldier It suppressed a report showing their Middle East coverage to be anti Semitic this week. Notably there many previous loaded reports showing no bias were loudly crowed about It is also pro IRA. On its history web site it fails to mention the IRA kill people whereas the UVF are described as vicious with numbers of victims , quite rightly, enumerated . I maintain that allowing this lie to go unchallenged is part of a battle that goes down to being able to eat foi gras in spite of the efforts of Ben Bradshaw the Animal Welfare minister ( The what !) to ban it . Silly ? Today there has been a round up of animal right terrorists who have taken the extra step and not only hate our country but also our species..

I `m on a roll now. Look out ……. Safety rules for children` playgrounds send them to building sites looking for risks , children’s books are produced about super heroes saving the world from climate change. Girl Guides are offered advice on safe sex, Talking on a hands free mobile in a car is an offence , why ? Christmas is renamed winter party while sharia law ,forced marriage and honour killing are ignored because if misguided cultural relativism a closely related condition to victimisis. Muslim extremists are given the same airtime as elected politicians in a free democracy And the Christmas message on Channel 4 was to be delivered from behind a Burqa. Poppy day is not yet banned but it is ignored in London and the bloody Conservative Party commissioned list of British great omitting Churchill

School sport has fallen into dilapidation because someone might lose ,or more to the point hurt themselves. Then the working classes are hounded about their obese children. Gay rights trump all other cards be it the prudent placement of adoptive children or religious belief. Books are forced on schools including such edifying titles as “ The sissy Duckling and Daddy’s new Roomate “.

Why why why do we allow this death by a thousand cuts to be inflicted ion this country .Peter Hitchens speculates that the War was to blame . We were beaten if not invaded and the slow humiliation up to Suez sucked out soul leaving a painful void . This gap has been filled by a sort of twisted religion of self loathing congregating about the BBC George Orwell was right about this elite “ They would rather steal from a poor box than stand to attention during God Save The King”. It is largely the state the legal profession and the BBC but other protected monopolies like the BMA are often willing acolytes. It is at work at high level and low level where at least the enthusiasm of the novices at Council level can be seen.

Newcastle City Coucil banned staff from saying pet and hinny , Blackpool taxi drivers were prevented from flaunting the cross of St. George . Boys clubs are closed for not allowing girls in and is the nadir the removal of a novelty picture of a monkey from a Barnsley Council Art Gallery on the grounds that it was “ Offensive and demeaning to animals “? Finally Kirklees Council staff were prevented from using the term “Politically Correct “.
You know what I should never have started with Mrs Temples Muppet Tarts it seems to have had a Madelaine effect but we must draw a line and why not now before we lose out sanity. Miss Piggy cake lacks Pork ?
Well resquiat in pace
shepherds pie I guess , and much else besides


Electro-Kevin said...

We were not invaded, but we were certainly occupied by a large and foreign military presence. Our values were changed and we were sentimentalised through movies, fast food, rock music etc... not wishing to be ungrateful to our great American cousins, in fact I have more affinity with them than I do older generation English.

Then there were successive brain-drains and the loss of technological industry meaning that those brains left behind were drawn into meddlesome professions such as law - and now politics has become a cradle-to-grave 'profession' too.

Roger Thornhill said...

It all boils down to the Welfare State and self-loathers.

The welfare state saps self-reliance and perpetuates the idea that the State is all-embracing and someone else is either to blame or responsible.

Self-loathers, you know the type - mediocre yet luckily hoisted via their parental advantages into a better world that they feel they don't deserve, so must deny all others any chance of enjoying.

Out of this has sprung a generation that lacks critical reasoning. Such people are now infesting our institutions.

Anonymous said...

I am sure these things are worse if you live in Islington - half that stuff doesn't happen in these more backward areas - we have Christmas and Nativity Plays in schools, we have competitive sport and indeed education, I counted no less than 21 national flags flying in 20 minutes drive this morning - some of them St George some of them Union. Novelty animals are almost a must and I have even seen pig racing recently - with real pigs - Muslim attendance not obligatory. We had a fireworks night with burning Guidoes on bonfires and mad dangerous fireworks. There are clubs designed for mixing dangerous sports and the young - Sea Canoing, Deep Sea fishing, Hang gliding, Cart Racing (No one under 8) and climbing up walls, archery - I could go on. On Mayday I saw an event featuring hundreds of (sexually segregated) Morrismen - Mad traditional figures - including blacked up participants and loads of young people involved. I could go on and on...

England is out there Mr N - maybe not in Islington - but like Birdwatching and Line dancing Marionette Bands and Chess Clubs allotments and Church parade- it rarely makes the news. The trendy lefties who run the media aren't interested in reality. Nor in real young people - only in achingly cool inner-city yoofs. Shall i stop now - I know no one is nterested...

Old BE said...

Don't blame the EU - blame our spineless "leaders"!

It's time for a shakeout of our formerly great nation - and it will come just as soon as the illusion of the easy-ride falls apart when the credit bubble bursts.

Oh yes, and for those outside London - Vote Conservative.

Old BE said...

Are you suggesting that the muppets were promiscuous?

CityUnslicker said...

cluvking Bell newmainia, that post could nearly be a book.

I pity your sore fingers and fevered brow.

However, this is a panglossian overview of British Culture in 2007. We have more cctv cameras than anywhere, lots of prisons, lots of police and worst of all; the Health and Safety Executive.

If Cameron pledged to abandon the last, together with withdrawing state funding from tne Beeb, CRE and these such organisations he would have my vote and eternal love.

Newmania said...

Roger it is rthe pure spirit of Fiske " Kill us we deserve it "

Thanks EK and Roger both good ideas about making a gestatlt of the thing I fear I have rambled a bit and I was looking for a core . Next project is crime and I really will have to organise better

Newmania said...

Nor in real young people - only in achingly cool inner-city yoofs. Shall i stop now - I know no one is nterested...

You really do have a unique view Mutley and I have never quite got the hang of it.Perhaps you need more than one persona so as not to spoil Mutley with serious (ish) things ? Some of the things you write are superb and noone else could do it.

You should be on Doughty Street or something .

Newmania said...

CU I started looked up and it was half past two frankly I`m amazed one or two have read it . I trust you skimmed . If I do another opus I will do it spread over a week.

Ed...I can`t see how we can keep on borrowing either but as i have sold my house and I am trying to buy an implosion now might be good

Little Black Sambo said...

Mutley, don't be smug. They'll come for you eventually.

Newmania said...

Run run LBS I am getting out of London myself

Old BE said...

N, do you now hate London per se or just hate the educational opportunities for your kids?

Newmania said...

The latter Ed I love London and quite how such a town mouse is going to go down in the sticks I do not know

Old BE said...

You can take the Newmania out of London...

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you need more than one persona so as not to spoil Mutley with serious (ish) things ?

But I do - the other one is even sillier ....Yes it is odd to make Muts say something serious. I like to join in your discussions Mr N because you speak/write plain English and you do not have this "knowing insiderness" and deep cynicism which blights many political blogs.

Newmania said...

Thanks M I do try deliberately not to do that pretending I was born 45 years old talking poltico jargon. I could do easily .

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on a great post, N! A glorious melange, tastier than a Muppet Tart! Print it out, tie it up with a pink ribbon and send it off to Melanie Phillips! ;-)

Newmania said...

David !!!!! Where have you been ? How nice to hear from you....I hope all is well and you will be around soon.

I can a kot better than this its time that is the enemy

Philipa said...

Crikey! Well at least you haven't blamed it all on the feminisation of the world (as many do everything on HWMNBN'ds blog) Have you read the Ab of Fab Britain BTW as I have it? He hasn't the writing style of his brother but IMHO has a unique quality that means if you put the book down (or throw it across the room, as I did) you pick it up again very quickly. His stuff is guaranteed to provoke; his stock in trade. I'm saving up for his brothers new one.

In fact I'm not sure if it's just little bro's blog that's attracting misogynist know-all pompous arrogant twits, not so much like moths to a flame as like rats to the pied piper, or if it's the Mail directive (ha ha) We had our share of just awful people blogging some really nasty stuff against women when a post touched on the topic, so I suppose just playing the right tune gives a clarion call. And of course, being a single mother and the architect of all evil in society today, it was a bit sticky.

I wish you well in seeking England - it still exists in little forgotton pockets, only now it doesn't have a Post Office or bus service.

Raedwald said...

Tremendous stuff Mr N! A diatribe of stunningly stinging invective - loved every word. You only forgot the banning of Welsh Dragon Sausages by the trading standards for not actually containing any dragon meat.

Mutley points out a few things that encourage me. Another - and take heart from this - is that even in Islington, with the dire penalty of a fine and prosecution on the statute books, nobody, absolutely nobody, wears a seat belt in the back of a cab.

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