Thursday, March 01, 2007

I Hate the Young .....( and the Old)

I do not like young people much they have far to good a time. I shuffle to work everyday like a miserable Monk, being harvested by the State for my life force, while they skip and cavort with sexy new media projects ,and have ,“ vibrant “ web communities of smarmy Conservative Future members .

I see them laughing in that revoltingly carefree way and the bile rises in my throat ,the bitter acrid fumes sting my nostrils. I crush a paper cup with silent disgust. Oh bugger off and have a ,“Crave” ,or whatever it is you do, I shout , waving an imaginary stick ,and expectorating vilely multicoloured mucus ….well not quite but you get the picture. Cull them!

So today is a good schadenfreude day for me ,for what do I discover ,but that I am stealing their money. Excellent news ,and here’s how I do it .

Firstly, I may have lost it now, but at least for goodly while I was on a superb final salary pension, and as at that time, I was earning some pretty sweet action , that is still a nice thing to have tucked into your back pocket. Secondly , again , its all gone now with having to move ,but for years I had free dental care, and most of all, I was able to get into the property ladder. Badly , to late and to timidly ,true, but yes the famille Newmania are”in property”, and we regularly dance little jigs of joy at the latest news ,that a single London Brick is actually worth more than the equivalent amount of gold .

They, the young , get pies in the face from all angles. Poor them ,a typical 22 year old graduate may leave, “ Uni”, with about £22,000 of debt at a time when I degree is hardly worth having anyway. What a superb twist of the knife that should be ,asked to voluntarily give back any cash they do make, in contributions to their alma mater. The next thing they do, is hop off and pay rent with their groovy chums , and I love this bit . They are probably paying of the Mortageg of an older buyer ,and actually sending the first rung of the property ladder further away with their own money . Oh Sweet sweet sweet ;Oh brave new world that has such ( stupid) people in it.

The average age for buying that first property is now 34 only ten years ago it was 26. In fact with Mortgages now extending to 50 years ,even if they got on the ladder it is far from clear that they themselves, will ever benefit. They will be just in time to hand over the Capital to their children. Oh dear , I cannot contain my mirth.

Excuse me while I get comfy ah yes that’s better. I just want to lean a little harder on the young ,and I can do it politically. You see the demographic has turned on its head. Instead of a large young population supporting a small old one it’s the other way round . Now heres where I start to have a concern. I lost my super pension paid through the nose for property and ¸ I am, certainly not one of the leisured class of grey wasters. I am in the working population and do not therefore qualify from mist of the freebies.

I am 43 and it is older folk than me who are rally riding the gravy train

FACT: At the time of the 2005 election MORI calculated that the over 55s had 4.2 times the voting power of the 18 to 34 years olds.

FACT:In the UK the number of people over 40 will overtake the under forties by 2021

..and this voting power is really biting The oldies .and I `m, getting less and less happy , are hogging all the wealth and I mean ,the really old .

FACT: On average 55 to 69 year old s have £109,000 of amassed assets ,

That’s the average , but anecdotally ,every old person I ever meet is planning a SKI holiday( spend kid`s inheritance ), which very much includes my parents. Now its true, that there is a large minority of pensioners, say 17 % classified as poor, that have not got property or private pensions. They are hit badly by Council tax fuel and other bills but they are a minority.

FACT: 70% of those worth over £500,000 in this country are over 55

…and let not forget it . Blimey more and more I begin to think I `v got more in common with the young. I `m certainly with them on this half the absurd taxes I pay for which I get pretty much nothing goes on pensions , ,healthcare and social services and a great deal of this is for the old . They , having spent all their property doubloons, relax onto the warm duvet provided by the state courtesy of the long suffering working population.

Sod it; I `m not quite old enough after all .The thing to be is a teenager in the 60s then you vote for loads of state control when you are young , low taxes when you are really earning , in the 80s and then now you are an old wreck you turn the state taps back on again. Well that’s lovely isn`t it and I `m one of the ones being eaten not ,,as I thought , visa versa.
So perhaps I should join hands with my new young chums and we can all go to a “Grave” ..or something together. I am one of the exploited by these greedy oldsters.


One problem. Most of the ghastly glib shiny faced members of Conservative Future are not suffering at all. They have the huge advantage I did not, of being around when people are actually looking for young people, so have high earning power. They are usually the recipients of generational wealth ,that cascades down from property allowing them not to work ,so they can be a nuisance in politics ,and cash in on property themselves. They are in fact the lottery of life winners

For all you other young people though. Tough luck, I `m basically in the same boat. We are being sucked dry, by the thin mean wizened lips of the old. So in the end, it turns out I hate the old and the young.

That what’s called a mid life crisis


Anonymous said...

My God ! Now that's what I call a paradigm shift.

Newmania said...

Is it ? perhaps i should have been less breezy , I was trying to discuss generational inequality. Praps I will be more serious in future

Anonymous said...

the whole world is really on your shoulders isn't it Mr Mania?

answers, we need answers!

Is your answer still Dave?

PS the Answer is staring you in the face it is of course Master Elliot Horatio: stick with the good things.

Anonymous said...

Nope, N - you got the tone perfectly. I'd never quite seen it put like that before though.

I wrote to Peter Hitchens about this (not so eloquently) and got bollocked for it. But you've articulated it brilliantly.

Old BE said...

Nail hit firmly on head there Mr Newmania.

People of my age (27) are paying people of our parents' age rent to live in their third or fouth property, keeping house prices rising and ever further out of our reach.

We'll still be paying for the older generations' state pensions long after we know we won't ever receive one ourselves.

And don't get me started on University debt...

Anonymous said...

Very sorry Ed (mean that sincerely, I'm 42 BTW)

N - just thought I needed to clarify in order to be fair to Peter Hitchens, he berrated me for mentioning 'house blocking' in problem areas by pensioners.

Nasty subject and I felt awful raising it - there're other groups more deserving of analysis.

Newmania said...

And don't get me started on University debt...

So it is troublesome for you then.......

Newmania said...

the whole world is really on your shoulders isn't it Mr Mania?

Nope I wander about with an idiot grin, partly because I just love moaning

Old BE said...

Re: "Uni" debt:

I was happy at the time to borrow money to fund my education - borrowing to invest doesn't break the golden rule!

The problems are:

1. Degrees are now effectively worthless as most are easy to get - meaning that there is no "premium" for a graduate in the job market.

2. We were told that student loans would effectively be interest free as the rate of interest charged would only equal inflation. In fact every year the Student Loans Company has increased interest rates - they manage to find an "inflation" rate rather higher than the government's "preferred" figure.

Anonymous said...

Ed has got me worried because we have to make decisions in the next year about whether my son goes to uni, which he wants to. But should he start his working life with a huge debt arounbd his neck?

Newmania said...

Idon`t think you have any choice if you want a job at all Ellee . Its terrible isn`t it they are on a treadmill of having work just to get by.

It all revolves around property there is new programme ofn R4 i would love to listen to about just this. Starts next week

Old BE said...

Ellee, Newmania is right.

Your son won't get any decent (office) job at all without a degree. Encourage him to do a "rigorous" degree subject if he can. I couldn't have got my current job without my degree, but it's a slow-burn career which requires lots more exams!

Newmania is also right that the housing market is more of a problem than the jobs market - there just isn't enough housing anywhere, particularly London.

Old BE said...

Forgot to add:

The other shame about the current set-up is that we are as a nation desperately short of people with non-academic skills such as plumbers and instead of training young people to plumb, we import plumbers from abroad!

Arthurian Legend said...

Hmmm, the other day we were discussng the time when we would move out of London...and the delicious prospect of buying somewhere else, whilst renting out our London flat to some young twenty-somethings to boost the old pension pot for the years to come..!

Newmania said...

and the delicious prospect of buying somewhere else, whilst renting out our London flat to some young twenty-somethings to boost the old pension pot for the years to come..!

Swine ...good plan though!

Old BE said...

absolutely a good plan. i have no truck with investors making money from the crazy housing market (or any other market)!

i do object to the interference of the government in the planning system.

Anonymous said...

Superb post, N! You really should polish this up and send it off to the Daily Mail _ it's just the kind of quirky 'modern life with a tory twist' piece they would love _ all illustrated with pics of you en famille in Islington!

CityUnslicker said...

glad to see you catching up here N.

People in their 50's are effectively looting everyone else. This is why Blair grins all the time; him and Cherie are raking it in. All the things you say too, final salary pensions, property - the lot.

When the penurous young awake in 2020 - 2030 there will be blood on the street. Old blood of frail people being robbed.

And they may well deserve it.

Anonymous said...

I think you'll find (having out-shifted to Devon myself) that property values have caught up in many areas. To be honest, my move was from Watford though. It was like-for-like in terms of purchasing power, yet the earning potential is significantly less here. It's been really hard actually.

Like the Atlantic Conveyor couldn't it all just 'switch off' at any moment ? Young people just decide to say 'stuff the property market' all of a sudden ? And who would blame them ?

Ellee - one big regret I have is not having a trade, I don't regret not having a degree - quite worthless unless you 'professionalise' it.

Newmania said...

I have often wished i had a trade like a ched or a caropenter , You could travel easily

Darkersideofbridgetjones said...

I have to say a well written piece. You clearly have a talent - for this blogging business - well done! Now your head is going to get even bigger now. You fucker.

It depresses me actually reading this.

Although at 34 I am lucky not to have any university debts hanging around my neck - thank God. I think they introduced the loans system the year after I had graduated. However, at this stage I cannot afford to get on the property ladder. I earn just over 25k a year. But, I will be (and don't give me a hard time about thiS) applying for key worker assisted housing scheme. But, sadly I'll only end up earning a third of the property. The good news is as a civil servant I should get a reasonable pension. But, reading your article makes me really depressed I think I'll go and stick my head in a bucket of sand. It's all a bit too much.

Anonymous said...

Ket worker schemes only take even more from thiose who are not key workers (aka governemnt workers)more disaster for the beleaguered wealth creating side of the economy

Darkersideofbridgetjones said...

I knew you'd have a go at me over this.

Anonymous said...

Tell me about it.

Luckily my old man isn't one of these greedy swines that wants to sell the house, swan off to Spain and sun it up with the proceeds.

In the meantime I'm counting on George W bombing Iran, $150/barrel oil prices should help correct things a little bit.

Seriously, the way people whinge on about inflation as if it's a bad thing really bugs me. My Dad's 62 and was working through the high inflationary times of the 70's/80's. His wages kept going up and up whilst the principal of his mortgage stayed locked in time. The result was more and more disposable income.

Now the house he bought for £42k is worth more like £325k. He and my Mother have final salary pensions too. They are laughing.

Anonymous said...

'They are usually the recipients of generational wealth ,that cascades down from property allowing them not to work ,so they can be a nuisance in politics ,and cash in on property themselves. They are in fact the lottery of life winners' (NM)

You mean they are spoilt. My old man never does anything with his cash, he potters around in the garage building things for the garden all day. He spends all evening either watching TV or buying little nick-naks on ebay.

If I asked him to stuff a few grand in my bank so I could join Conservative Future and potter around in London not working and making a nuisance of myself he'd just laugh at me.

Newmania said...

Good for you Steven I was really hoping you`d see this one I was thinking of your frequent articulate gripes.

If you pick this up i hope all is well

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