Clement Freud recalled accidentally bumping into a woman’s breast …..“ Madame".. he said ..,"If you heart is a soft as your bosom , you will forgive me “
“Sir", she replied “If your willy is as hard as your elbow I am in room 211...”
Ah ,fearlessly stylish wit is usually but not always, an aphrodisiac .‘Bald Jim’ a disreputable acquaintance ,once said “ Whats the problem ossifer having an offensive person on my weapon?.”,. He really did have an offensive person on his weapon, so this was pretty quick, but his charms continue to elude me .
By way of a contrast consider the timid advertisement for hormone replacement therapy that is “Sadie Smith” Some dreary minor demon in the Labour PR inferno, her curiously childlike opining is of no interest. The embarrassing spectacle of a woman who reverts to weeping adolescence at the slightest hint of egalitarian debate is well.. a bit un-sisterly.
. She was complaining about rough treatment handed out by Humphreys and I simply followed the Nigel Lawson line …
“Humphreys is a life long Labour voter and conceals it barely adequately. If you are sick of him imagine how I feel, but then only one of us would do something about it,like cutting the BBC Poll tax off ? Not you ,so shut your gob (please)”
Now that’s a chance for some fun ? Instead Sadie was overcome with emotion…
“….Newmania, if you don't like what I write ….fuck off. In fact, I'll save you the trouble of being so distressed by my words that( blah blah more of the same ) you - rudely - feel the need to tell me …( blah blah and on it goes). I HATE that. In fact, it's the one phrase or variation thereof that I cannot abide ..( and on ….)So, from now on, you're banned……I'll just reject your comment…..”
Banned ? Fuck Off? For one with my cloistered life and delicate constitution this is a jarring note . I like to think of myself as the Flanders and Swann of the virtual world .Others like to strip the comfortable veneer from life , I put it back,so how could such a genial fellow possibly have upset poor Mz. Smith ?Goodness knows. My only nagging worry is that every time a woman shows herself a unfit for any occupation for which blubbing is a minus she reinforces the glass ceiling
Come Back Snoopy
I see Councils will be snooping emails and phone calls to establish if couples are sleeping together ( New Of The World ).. I just wonder what sort of trouble they are going to end up causing …I have a suspicion about these two..
“Charles: "Oh Stop! I want to feel my way along you, all over you, and up and down you, and in and out..."
Camilla: "Oh, Charles!"
Charles: "Particularly in and out!"……..”
Brown Admits Left Hindered Sport ( Daily Mail)
Nice of Gordon to apologise for the lefts loathing of competitive sport Fortunately Tamara and Marcus who won the posh sports were part of the privately educated 50% private who medalled. Beneath the glitter there I still a structural weakness
Euphemisms of History
Did you notice Gerry Wexler ,the man behind Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin died? He coined “Rhythm and Blues “,which still means contemporary black music. The R4 obituary I heard scoffed at the euphemisms it replaced .”The Harlem Hit Parade “ being typical. Is “Urban music” an improvement ?
22 comments:
Camilla: "Oh, Charles!"
Charles: "Particularly in and out!"……..”
How COULD he? How could he prefer that knackered old donkey to beautiful Princess Diana? No wonder Di went loopy for a time, cuckolded for that evil old witch.
Actually Flo I read the whole thing and it was really quite sweet
i have tears running down my face at the moment but it is due to the corn in the field...blasted allergies!
And what prayare you doing rolling around in the corn Daisy
that's pretty much all there is here...bean fields and corn fields, all around aaachooo
Auntie Flo - he preferred Camilla because she wasn't a knackered old donkey, she was a bueatiful blonde when he first met her and that's how he thinks of her. Also (and I'm not condoning what happened but..) Camilla was interested in him whereas Di wanted him to be interested in her.
As every woman knows, that is not the way to keep a man's affection, or at least not most men - they are mostly selfish and need to be adored. They're not that good at adoring.
IMHO it was a mistake to rush charles and Di into marriage and the public attention made it impossible to find out if they were suited. His Dad said he couldn't dump her and she wanted to be a princess. They should have been allowed more time and to break up if necessarry.
What was I here to say...
oh yes; I don't agree with men or women ridiculing anyone for hurt feelings or tears. People have feelings - all of us. we all have different red buttons, pain thresholds and things going on in our lives that might make us a bit raw or tearful that day. However I do disagree with anyone who uses tears as a mechanism to win an argument or avoid censure et al..
And i disagree with men ridiculing a womans hurt feelings especially when a man has intelligence and ample skill with language to demolish a woman's argument without reference to said tears - it's like a chap complaining about a bug crapping on his path when he could have just stepped on it.
PS: that doesn't apply to cherie Bliar - she should be ridiculed at every opportunity, the lying grasping cow.
Aha Phillipa but I am banned and threfore cannot reply . Still you may be right ,I feel a bit bad about this post now
Actually I see you were saying something a bit more interesting than that.
Thanks for your comment , nice work
Diana was 18 or 19 when she fell in love with Charles. I do believe she did love him at that stage, though God knows why.
She was too young and naive then to recognise, as she did later, that the human tampon and his family simply wanted her for a breeding factory because Charlie could not marry that old tart Camilla.
Although both Diana and Charles both had affairs which damaged their marriage, weren't Diana's were initially prompted by her realisation that Charles had not stopped seeing Camilla?
I remember how ill Chas and the tart - who I hasten to add will never be my queen, whatever the human tampon chooses to call her - made Diana. They seemed to me to be prepared to drive her to into deep depression when she was vulnerable during and after her pregnancies - and they achieved that for a time. I also remember Charles' friends - entirely unprompted by the tampon, so it was claimed - conducting a briefing campaign against Diana in the press which suggested that she was behaving like a lunatic and to be ignored. All very convenient.
I may be wrong, but I don't believe Diana was chasing a title, Philipa. She already had one, a very old and aristocratically superior one. When Prince Philip threatened to take her title away, she told him, "You can't. it's older and better than yours."
I'm delighted to see that Camilla is now getting her just desserts, as Charles is at it again, humiliating her as he and Camilla did Diana.
With any luck Camilla will reciprocate and humiliate Charles too and they will be locked together in mutual, self tormenting misery for the rest of their horrible days. I do hope so as I detest the pair of them.
I would love the crown to pass straight to William.
I didn't mean to suggest Di was chasing a title, Flo, but that she was, as you say, young and naive and dreamy. being his princess must have seemed very exciting to her. i honestly think time would have sorted it out; she wasn't that daft. If only they'd been given more time..
I am suprised Flo I was never a Diana fan but the way you describe it makes her treatment sound horrible
(Still cannot decide on an avatar )_
I prefer Camilla to Diana - well I guess that Diana would be a bit unresponsive to my romantic overtures these days.
Doubt there would be all that much in it myself EK
Test
I've known lots of Camillas and loved 'em all. I even asked one to marry me once ('Don't be bloody stupid, Radders' was her answer).
They hold their liquor, whoop and shriek with honest mirth at dinner, suck their way though a pack of Silk Cut a day, don't care if you don't come home until 48 hours after the rugger match, view dead game with equanimity , are willing to try most things at least once, drive ferociously, are superlative social organisers, have a healthy appetite for food, booze and sex, are good at curtains and know people to stay with from Penzance to John O'Groats.
Give me a Camilla any day rather than a vacuous introspective narcissist who's about as much fun as leprosy.
I think readwald explained it far better than I ever could.
Cough...well I must say that was rather the way I felt about it R, in any case I like the monarchy and I didnot like the whole Di thing .
(Phillipa Raedwald has a great blog and I heartily recommend you look at today`s post which is superb)
Ooh will do :-)
PS: there are some very sexist jokes on mine, don't take them as my personal view. Well, not all of them *cough*
Rhythm & Blues (As opposed to current 'R'n'B') surplanted 'race records' as the biz's terminology. Bit of an advance, frankly.
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