Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ooo I`m Scared

“Police may ignore minor crimes, as front line workers begun a work to rule in their escalating pay dispute “
I was truly terrified to see this dire warning .For years I have been accustomed to plod assigning their top sleuths to my stolen bikes and nicked car radios. Similarly, those champions of the work ethic, teachers, threaten strike action .For weeks at a time they will do nothing but pootle around France in a caravan, sipping local plonk, and telling each-other they could have been dot com millionaire.s In case my blunderbuss has fired over your head , allow me to apply the fish in face approach to inference. They would have time this pretty carefully for anyone to notice !
I now live in terror that book shop assistants may , at a moments notice, cease their industrious attentiveness ,and begin a strict policy of staring slack jawed into the middle distance dreaming about being novelists .Hairdressers will effect an intelligent conversation embargo, limiting themselves to inane drivel about soaps and your holidays .....where will it all end ? Will builders abandon their military time keeping and honest dealing?

Panic grips the nation ! In quivering knots the populous await armageddon, huddled together they breathe hideous rumours . It is said that wholes rafts of quangos are due to deny confused scaffolders a 'Latte' surrounded by original Tracy Emmins while they hand out forms about ,“envisioning the future for enterprise” . Regional development offices may simply return the £15 billion they cost and ask us to struggle on unaided by their conferences in Bali....contd. pg. 94
PS(When I spell check Quango it comes up Guano...hmm)

Some Thoughts Wot I Thunk

World Peace
The final of the Ukraine Miss world has been cancelled due to fear that Russia may turn its military might on its neighbour . Shame, the traditional wish for “World peace “ would have had a new piquancy screeched over an incoming air strike.

Sideways Running
I will not be doing Phelps mania He is a jolly speedy true swimmer to but as Michael Johnson mildly remarked ;if he had had events like running backwards, sideways and with a feather boa attached to his arse, he would have won hundreds of medal.s
Poor Little Georgia
I am also not doing outrage about poor little Georgia either . They invaded first , they have never controlled South Ossetia ,they threw grenades into basements full of Russian women and children, and I do believe the very people drivelling on about sovereignty are at this time still in Iraq , Afghanistan ....etc. Mind you , Russia did much the same sort of pontificating then.
Brush Up Your Yeats
Looking forward to Fife which Brown will be hard pushed to find an excuse not to pop into. The Classic Labour problem; Coal shipyards and Communism have been replaced by “Silicon Glens”. Labour replaced the Liberal as a big beast in the Khaki election when the urban working class demanded representation. That class is disappearing. This is the very heart of the left and its dwindling adherents may find themselves muttering “Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold “...................Resquiat In Pace New Labour
And Finally Esther ..Silicon Glen

Silicon Glen is much more centred after the op and she is thinking of re-qualifying as a beautician . Boom tssk



4 comments:

Daisy said...

it does make you wonder...as i am away from home at the moment and living in hotels i wonder who is ruffling through my stuff during the day...oh wait...i don't have anything interesting enough to ruffle through...pity that...

btw...i agree about the russian conflict...not that you need my approval...

Old BE said...

The "middle classes" who were wooed by Slick Blair are slowly realising that Labour hated them all along and they have had their pockets picked. Labour now denigrate the aspirant classes as "toffs" alienating many Brits who want to better themselves. Voters won't be fooled by fresh handouts and they know that they can only be bribed by the same money once.

That said, Brown can only lose swing voters once so will now go hell-for-leather to shore up the core vote - what's left of it.

Newmania said...

Lovely first para BE ! Beautifully put if i may say so

Old BE said...

You may say so :-)

Blog Archive