Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Normal Service Resumed

Why should it surprise us that we are good at sport ? We are the only country in the world ,(except Australia ) ,where on any given weekend, the entire population seeks out bizarre equipment from the back garden shed, and heads off canoeing or hiking or cycling or whatever ....
This simply does not happen elsewhere. Italian men sip sugary drinks, while their mothers stroke their hair .The French only like sports where you can wear pink lycra and get away with it , like climbing . Americans would be fit if they ran around each other, and so it goes on. We are the country that has contributed the best games to the world ,and that is because we are the sportiest. It is astonishing looking back at it the good grace with which we put up with the fraud of the 20th century Olympics.
In the boxing the professional Eastern block put gnarled 38 years old army veterans against our callow teenagers , it was hopeless. Our swimmers were finishing work as a Quantity Surveyor in Crawley, before catching the National Express to Hull for three hours night training ,in a paddling pool. Why , because we thought when they said amateur , they meant it ?

In women’s athletics the East Germans were unleashing men on steroids, and in the field events it was the drugs ‘man’. Many records still stand as a testament to the perfidy of the rest .Our occasional successes were the result of fantastic self motivation worlds away from the elite coaching centres of the Australians in which talented youth soon found themselves fed peeled grapes and back rubs by relays of speedo clad virgins.
This golden Summer is simply the proper reward we have been denied . Others may be good at the main events, like football, but at the miscellany of hobby horses we excell. Sport in Spain means watching a tiny percentage of circus performers skip about on TV , not actually doing it .
Typically we interpret our medalling maestros as recipients of good fortune , intended for others . But ,we are not only the most sporting nation in the world (except the Australians damn them) . We are also the fifth largest economy and the fourth largest army. Mighty China only overtook our GDP last years and it is not clear they can continue their geometric progression. What about when the one child rule catches up and their large working population to small dependency ration reverses? Who will buy yet more cheap tee shirts? We are not roughly equivalent to Malta we are a big beast and in addition to our innate talent for games ,we have a not unrelated talent for social organisation

That is why we should not cravenly sacrifice our Parliament to Europeans bureaucrats , that is why we need not put up with scare stories about” Going it alone”.They need us more than visa versa. This is why we must always look at our own resources first.
As the odd 20th century ,with its strange imported doctrines ,fades away, we can face the future ,proud of what we are, and whilst open to the world , no longer cringing and apologetic .At heart this is what meek little internationalists are .Still hurting because we went from being an Empire to being good at pop music.

Get over it losers !



24 comments:

Newmania said...
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Newmania said...
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Newmania said...
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Auntie Flo' said...

Mighty China...What about when the one child rule catches up and their large working population to small dependency ration reverses?


My guess is they'll do what Broon's been planning - and doing, if you think about it - for years: bump off the old folks. Only, China's overlords being the evil lot they are, they'll get it down to a fine art, with mobile euthansia and cremation vans.

Newmania said...
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Newmania said...

Sorry Flo been mesing about with avatars ...maddening it gets and pointless

Like that remark you are getting savage

Little Black Sambo said...

Well, I feel much better after reading that.

Newmania said...

No probs LBS , nice to see you about

Blue Eyes said...

N you think along disturbingly similar lines to mine. The real shame is that it took so long to recover from war and war socialism and that we are only now on the road to recovery.

I blame Heath in particular for squandering the opportunity to get us moving sooner.

Newmania said...

That is , I think , a rather ahistorical view BE more to the poiit when the f am I going to get this avatar sorted

Newmania said...

Any good ?

Anonymous said...

Everyone does sport?
Isn't the definition of sport - a group of people who need a good rest watched by Masses of people who need some exercise.

hatfield girl said...

Planes are nice but you're from St Albans.

Auntie Flo' said...

Would you believe that that big haired old vainglorious puff of nonsense, Michael Connartist MP has dared to call for the resigantion of one of the Conservatives rising stars and hardest working MPs: Jeremy Hunt! And all for telling the truth about nulab underfunding of sports. What a nerve.

Here's Jeremy's post on this from his blog:

"Labour's sport funding fiasco

Just blogged on Centre Right about Labour's sport funding fiasco, where my line has clearly touched a raw nerve as a Labour MP has called on my to resign...

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/centreright/2008/08/labour-and-olym.html"

Posted in General on 21 August 2008 by Jeremy Hunt

Auntie Flo' said...

Newmania, are you disallowing your own posts?

Newmania said...

Yes Flo I was just tryign an avatar and it looked stupid

HG - yes from St. A originally

Auntie Flo' said...

I'm not keen on avatars, newmania, they almost all strike me as a bit naff.

Some are cringingly absurd, like the avatar of one, very plain and middle aged regular poster to the blogs who uses a pic of a teenage sex bomb.

Auntie Flo' said...

Have you noticed how much more relaxed Broon looks now he's in China? Well he would feel at home there, wouldn't he?

Though even when he's in dictators' heaven, he's still dependent on his obsessive/compulsive hand gestures to keep him just insane as opposed to cataleptic. See the BBC video:

Touch papers
mesh fingers
fold thumbs, precisely
Touch papers
mesh fingers
fold thumbs, precisely
Touch papers...

If anything stopped him bending his thumbs into that precise shape and position, at precisely the same interval and speed every time, Broon would collapse or have a fit.

I bet the consequences of mimicking the Broon thumb would be dire too. Enough to stop the drugs working and send him, at long last, over the edge.

So that's what exactly Cameron and the Conservatives should do at PMQs - in unison.

Newmania said...

Yes well I am cup of tea and you may well have a point about naff

Philipa said...

I can't comment on the thread above as.... ugh!

So allow me to just say hello Paul.

actually no. Remembering your shoulders in that leather jacket? Hello.... !

Newmania said...

Nice of you to say so P,I did wonder where you had been

CityUnslicker said...

surely an avatar pic of a harley N?

Newmania said...

They are sussex sheep...oh I don`t know

Newmania said...

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