Friday, November 16, 2007


A chap I know , in the office , has been looking into hiring an escort to go to a wedding and make him look successful. One of trawl through the internet later and it is pretty clear that escort and “Whore ‘ are interchangeable terms , not that I have any special objection to either personally . I am on the other hand fascinated to see there is a language of abbreviation familiar to regulars and happy to point out I had to think long and hard about what it all meant. One foxed me completely .Anyway these are things the “ Young Lady " will either do, or not do .


What is your score out of seven? Just how sleazy are you?


Anonymous said...

Newms -

Hmm, the "GGE" had me puzzled. But then knowing your, ahem, skill at typing I wondered whether you meant to "GFE".

Philipa said...


Why can't your collegue just ask a girl out?

Daisy said...

i didn't get any of them...dammit anyway...spell it out for me newmania as apparently i am sheltered from this...

The Creator said...

I'm obviously not as sleazy as I thought.

CIM? Not a clue. Ditto OWO and GGE and/or GFE.

What a very sheltered life I lead.

Will you enlighten us?

Ed said...

I think I can guess Sub and Dom, and I suspect WS has something to do with golden showers...

Daisy said...

my whole vision of ed just changed...

Steven_L said...

Come on, Ed's my age, the internet generation.

We all know what all that stuff means and the rest too.

Escort sites are usually the first thing 18 year old lads start looking at once they've finished looking at Dutch pornography.

Mermaid of Moorgate said...


Cleaning in Morning
Shopping under budget
Domestic or Maid
Out when Old
Good gardening enthusiasm
Will swallow

Oh I almost kept it clean there.

David Davis said...


Because most of the time, most girls will reject most boys.

And we get hurt.

CityUnslicker said...

6, blimey I must have been married for ages....!

Anonymous said...

Seven. There's k9, too...

Anonymous said...

None at all... I have just found out what GSOH means...

Daisy said...

well what does it mean mutley...i havent a clue...where is hitch when i need him...

Anonymous said...

Tell your friend to put a humorous advert in Private Eye or similar and he'll be inundated with volunteers.

Some years ago, a partner who was a code breaking addict used to send me coded love letters concealed in the obscurest of places - taped under library shelves, in rubbish dumps, buried in banks of flowers which magically appeared in my garden during the early hours, taped to my car windscreen and so on.

As he was a subscriber to Private Eye, one of my replies was a totally off the wall advert in PE which descibed us in a manner only he would recognise - or so I thought. I was deluged with hundreds of interesting replies from other men, which I, foolishly, did not take up.

One of these replies was written by a manservant who invited me, once his master had returned from a tour of India, to parachute into his master's castle in Scotland where we would, among other things... commune with nature, meditate, paint (each other??) and study earwigs. I'm still convinced that was from Prince Charles.

Auntie Flo'

Philipa said...

David Davis - rubbish!

If you're pitching your ambitions too high then learn from it. If you look like Micheal Gambon than you have to have something else on offer to attract the Kim Basingers amongst us - perhpas be interesting or witty or hugely intelligent with fab job, social standing helps and being richer than God is a guarantee, being charming or funny also wins favours.

You won't get hurt if you're approaching the situation intelligently - it's a mans world!

If this man simply asks a girl and is honest I can see that he would have a list of females wanting to go with him. If there is any side to his offer/request then he might well fail.

I have never understood why men insist on lying. Then met my ex. Now I understand.

Newmania said...

Rats I`ve missed this all weekend ...oh well broad-band back soon

Ludington.... you are obviously a thoroughly depraved individual . In fact there are two variations as far as I can tell

Genuine Girlfriend Experience ( GGE)

and GFE Girl friend experience ,

I think it means kissing and cuddling and some ways this is the only one that is rather chilling . A sort of emotionla masturbation wityh props isn`t it .

Newmania said...

Daisy I am deighted to hear of your purity....ahem...well...

Cum in mouth
Subordinate role play
Dominant role play
Oral without (protection )
Genuine Girlfriend Experience
Water Sports

Newmania said...

No suprise that Steven is the top sleaze bag and Ed is of course right up therewith the morally questionable .

CU fooling Noone have a "usual cubicle " at the local massage parlour I `m told

Mermaid thats superb. Fresh funny and strangely saucy ... I notice you oppose sex before marriage . can i remind you that I have been married twice and therfeore qualify for sex by your own rules .

I `m just saying `is all

Newmania said...

Flo thats an amazing story. I think you are rather charisamtic , I can imagine you might attract stalkers so you would have to be careful. I , for one , have concrete plans to stalk you in the New Year !

Newmania said...

Justin , I still re-tell you K9 story and the bit about the mittens always gets an eeeeoooooo

Newmania said...

You ougyht to write an agony aunt collumn Phillipa but I think you are harsh on David Davies.

Girls have little idea of the ghastly ordeal of rejectiion and humiliation which is the lot of the adolescent boy.... not that it ever changes much.

It is , in some ways . a woman`s world

Philipa said...

N - Rubbish!!!

"Girls have little idea of the ghastly ordeal of rejectiion and humiliation which is the lot of the adolescent boy.... not that it ever changes much."

Girls have a very good idea of the sight of a gaggle of males clustered around the blonde with big breasts. When the losers realise they'll be walking home alone they approach the other girls either in desperation or as an after thought. That's when they are told to f*** off by the discerning female.

And then there's the lies.

Don't preach to me about rejection laddie - you're the one who's happily married and I'm the one who was left holding the baby ;-)

Daisy said...

newmania...that is a something i haven't heard since catholic school (that i am just am not a sleeze...
but thank you so much for the descriptions...gag reflex intact here...

Philipa said...

PS: next week gentlemen I'll be publishing the numbers of helplines to aid concerns about penis size and girth, masturbating each other in the shower at school - what this says about you as an adult, and keeping things private in a relationship is not always a bad thing.

For the ladies there will be a helpline to explain what a man wants - it will cost no more than 10p as it is only one sentence long.

Sadly I cannot enter into individual correspondance but read all letters of emotional angst and requests for recipes on my blog. Soon I will be giving hints and tips on christmas decorations - how to make all the decorations you need with one copy of the saturday Telegraph and how to keep the curtains drawn so you can enjoy your celebration without offending any passing muslim or making the neighbours think you've died.

Newmania said...

I have met you Phillipa and you are extremely attarctive not to say confident and self possesed.

There are always people who seem top have everyything and thats true for evryone ....Daisy is a bit of a saucy treat as well actually , there was picture on her blog.

Come to think of it Mermaid is a dish as well.

You are all very lucky

Newmania said...

(No idea what Flo looks she said , it makes not a jot of difference anyway)

Daisy said...

newmania...thank you...never thought of myself as that...but it is so nice to hear...i was very happy in that picture and i think it shows through...the other half of the pic has my brother and his son but he didn't fancy me posting his pic as well and it was the only recent pic i had

Philipa said...

Thanks Paul, you're a bit of a honey too ;-)

I bet Flo is a fox, anyone who writes like she does has got to have a certain something in her air, her manner of walking, her laugh. Bet she's like Raincoaster - the look is as expected: wow!

Steven_L said...

"No suprise that Steven is the top sleaze bag ..." (newmania)

Do I win something? None of you lot ever done funny phone calls on massage-parlours/escorts or something?

Back in my student days we used to have a riot phoning the one-liners in the Daily Sport after a night out and making perverted requests.

Sometimes you can hear them in the background asking 'He wants to know if you will...'.

More often that not they come back and say it won't be a problem!

Newmania said...

Yes Steven you win the intangible but valuable esteem of your peers and that is all any man needs .

Daisy and Phillipa my pleasure . I am fascinated by Flo Phillipa but she maintains mystery. There is always another thing about there you didn1t know , she mnust be very busy

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