Wednesday, October 17, 2007

All I Ask Is The Chance....


I have met Iain Dale twice .He’s a nice chap, perhaps slightly difficult to relax around, in that he is doing his job when you are just arseing around. He is something of a Jonah though, isn`t he. It is not one, but two car crash PR stunts he has been involved in .That Speech” ( Davis ) and the ill fated trip to Rwanda. Does this make him a little sensitive ?


On Blogger TV ,talking about the translators in Iraq he made the entirely irrelevant point that you go into politics( which I haven’t ) in order to help people. I `d say "shrill" was the mot juste .Well that’s one reason I suppose , but , this does not mean the suffering of the world are suddenly welcome at my front door and nor I expect at Dale Acres. I detected a residual defensiveness. I think ID was aghast at the bored contempt with which his own readers reacted to the Rwanderer debacle. With ‘that speech ‘now part of legend ..I feel a bit sorry for him.

Never Mind ….

Mathew Paris had a good article in the Spectator recently in which he pronounced himself a “ Epihenomenalist, meaning ,the tears cause the sadness not visa versa. He argues that the Party didn’t turn from David Davis because he made a rotten speech , they heard a rotten speech because they were turning away from him. This lets Dale off the hook and for finding this succour ..I claim my £5. By this means he explains the over praise of Cameron and the,odd suprise of the media on discovering Brown is boring.

Wit Cures All

I see Oscar Wilde has been voted the top wit in a survey to mark the opening of the digital TV channel. People who spoil Dinner by emoting about Africa, should reacquaint themselves with his sharp claws, usually to be found slicing into the tender flesh of the concerned classes. I offer this an instant corrective to earnestness

“One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.”

I `m afraid my poor heart gets the better of me on such occasions….

Clarkson’s Saving Grace

Another name on the list of wits was Jeremy Clarkson which rather dents our confidence in its provenance. I have always thought Jeremy Clarkson was Esther Ranthzen for fat men , and not PJ O ` Rourke . Well, if he is PJ O Rourke then Cliff is Elvis ,(and he isn’t) . He voted Liberal most if his life and is in fact a bog standard media tart…......sorry but he is; so stop crying . Having said that, he did smoke on air , a Pipe actually. A spokesperson for Action On Smoking For Health ( ASH) has demanded an apology from the BBC,Clarkson…can`t be all bad then.

A Joke

On the subject of wit and humour I laughed and laughed at the suggestion that the Management of Northern Rock should cost the tax Payer £13 billion and keep their jobs . …Just fancy ; its quite true .

Seconds Out

With the Lisbon Red Line fest coming up there is palpable feeling that tanks are drawing into position. Ruth Lea , and Gisela Stuart have attacked but on the other side Polly Toynbee sweetly implores “Don’t Let The Euro-crazie`s Drag Us Out Of The Club ".Breezing though it the main points I can summarise as follows
1 Murdoch Conspiracy
2 We wrote it .
3 Actually we get more sovereignty because we can pre-scrutinise and send back legislation
4 Qualified majority voting essential with 27 members
5 Can’t keep a 6 month Presidency
6 The Federal Dream is dead …?
7 If we vote it down we will be chucked out ..
8 Its technical and too complicated for a referendum
9 Thanks to Murdoch the very word Europe will get a no.

And positively ..we need it for the Environment , terror , crime , global warming , to stop the US in Iran..blah blah. As well as having to deal with EU single market without affecting it , like Norway or Switzerland .

Media Bias

It’s a bit confused and mostly argument by assertion , but I `ll just pick up one point , the supposed Murdoch media conspiracy. When I go into the shop to buy a Paper there is the Guardian and the Mirror and the New Statesman all of which I buy occasionally . If Murdoch dominates the Media its because his editors and in tune with the readers . If they weren’t ; he wouldn’t .With the BBC , I have no choice . The fact Polly relies on this patently weak scaffold suggests to me she is not telling the truth about her real motives . International Social Democracy mayhap ……..could be .

BBC Cracks Bias

Speaking of media bias, gosh what a lot of anti Liberal Jokes there were on the new “ News Quiz” presented by life long Liberal Sandi Toksvig… eerm not one just the usual Tory bashing . Not a single Brown joke yet on the Beeb despite the ample material he provides gleefully used by Private Eye.

Crack House

( BTW On Murdoch`s new Fox News they have a presenter called Greg Gutfield who said of
I’m-a-dinner-jacket’s visit ,“ So the foul smelling fruit bat Almadinejad spoke at that crack house known as Columbia University today.” …sounds impartial to me !)

Poll Dancing

Yes Conservatives have been Poll dancing for the last week but should we .Peter Kellner of U Gov said we saw .."The most violent earthquake of in public opinion in 25 years” in fact ,since the Falkland’s War. I have suspected for while, that we are in a new territory in which Poll results are untrustworthy rafts on a sea of volatility. When you see descriptions like “Black Tuesday”, you cannot help but notice the “scale” problem. With the long weeks of Lisbon squirming ahead there is at least a good chance of firming the lead into magnificent tumescence .

..and if the Lisbon ordeal doesn’t do him Cherie Blair`s Auto biography is coming out and its rumoured to paint a pretty appalling picture of Mac Broon…She`s baaaaaaack. Damn, I `ll have to buy it. It is said to include furious rows between B1 and B2..yummy

Finally Esther / Jeremy Clarkson( delete as applic)

Proof positive that anything is possible , Claire Short has found love again at 61 and with Mo Mowlam`s ex Jon Norton. It seems to have changed her a bit she said ..”
Life is beautiful- despite all the bad stuff. You know nature is beautiful and a lot of people are lovely

Sweet. I feel sorry Paul McCartney had to find out ”Money can’t buy me love “ the hard way, but I `m still with second placed wit and long time hero Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."


Anonymous said...

Ballad of the Lisbon Li(n)esfest

I am just a rich boy, though my story's seldom told.
I have squandered my resistance,
For a pocketful of mumbles, such are promises.
All lies and jest.
...Still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.

La, la, la...

When I left my home and my family I was no more than a boy,
In the company of strangers,
In the quiet of Westminster, runnin' scared.
Laying low, seeking out the richer quarters,
Where the powerful people go.
Lookin' for the p(a)laces, only they would know.

Lie-da-lie ...

Asking politician's wages I came lookin' for a job,
And I got offers,
A come-on from the whores in Westminster
I do declare there were times I was so lonesome,
I took some comfort there.

La, la, la...

I am just a rich boy, though my story's seldom told.
I have sold my country,
For a pocketful of silver, such are promises.
All lies and jest.
...Still a man hears silver jingling and disregards the rest...


Laying out my politician's clothes,
and wishing I was gone, goin’ home
Where the york city winters aren’t bleedin’ me, leadin’ me goin' home.

In the clearing stands a politician, liar by his trade,
And he carries the reminders of every lie that laid him down,
Or cut him 'til he cried out in his anger and his shame,

"I am leaving, I am leaving."
But the politician still remains
...still remains.


Auntie Flo'

Anonymous said...


"I am leaving, I am leaving."
But the Lie still remains
...still remains.


Auntie Flo'


"On the subject of wit and humour I laughed and laughed at the suggestion that the Management of Northern Rock should cost the tax Payer £13 billion and keep their jobs . …Just fancy ; its quite true ."

... and what have New Labour's follies cost the taxpayer? Do you think NL will keep their jobs?

Newmania said...

For a pocketful of mumbles, such are promises.
All lies and jest.

Oh thats good Flo....

Sackeron well I hope not...

Anonymous said...

Blimey Mr Newman - you have been busy - this is Blogmag in itself!!

I have met old Daley as we call him a few times - bet you didn't know that?

The whole Rwanda thing was a bit daft wasn't it? Its not that I don't care but...

Oscar Wilde? Does he blog?

Newmania said...

Oscar Wuilde doesn`t blog , but if he did , It would proabable be the best blog in the world.

and I`m not going tof or that Mutley " I know everyone scam"

Philipa said...

Aha, I am reminded of Ian Hislop's comment on HIGNFY when faced with footage of cherie crying over her son going to university with only a posh flat to comfort him - 'you'd have to have a heart of stone not to laugh'

I too would like the chance to prove that being Bill Gates rich wouldn't make me happy - it would make me ecstatic!

Philipa said...

soz, forgot to say that though Wilde doesne blog, the chap who payed him does: Stephen Fry's blog is here

Oh dear, Ed has barred me from his blog. I must stop this commenting lark and do some work!

Newmania said...

Ed? P..that sounds most unliekly he is a quite a mild mannered chap and not at all the banning kind ...what have you done?

Philipa said...

Dunno - I promised him a picture of a naked woman on my blog and popped over this am to see if he'd made another post only to find it restricted access. Hope all ok with Ed, I'm guilty of quite liking his perspective and opinion on stuff, even if we don't always agree.

Praps I should change the piccy, it's a bit... graphic?

And i really MUST do some work N - you are far too tempting, go away you blogging tart you!

Ed said...

P I didn't ban you, I banned everybody (in the most Catch-22 way possible!)

I am having a re-think on my blog and will be back shortly.

Philipa said...

Ed - ooh goody, I find your ponderings most interesting.

Unfortunately for me it's just taken an hour to print out one research article off the web. The laptop isn't connected to a printer and for some strange reason doesn't want to burn to disk, or to one of my USB drives; it's going back. The other USB drive works but the format of the new software on the laptop isn't compatible with the old software on the downstairs PC connected to a printer. The upstairs PC connected to a printer has just been fixed and i can't find the disk to install the printer.

Computers - who the hell needs them? ARGHHHH!

I'm going to read a book. If I can get A.Flo's song outta my head - good one Flo :-)

Philipa said...

PS: I've changed the piccy - it's safe to visit (can't compete with Eric Idle though - nice one N)

Newmania said...

I `m glad I haven`t gone Ed way today I would have been most distressed

Philipa said...

And WHY haven't you gone Edway pray? Tuh, you're just a slave to capitalism N!

Little Black Sambo said...

"If Murdoch dominates the Media it's because his editors are in tune with the readers."
That is another example of Matthew Parris's epiphenomalism.

Newmania said...

So it is LBS...didn`t know you slummed it aroun d `ere ...


Little Black Sambo said...

Newmania, I read you every day.

Little Black Sambo said...

I meant "epiphenominalism" (I think).

Lilith said...

You just have so many words inside you Newmania, thank god for blogging to get them all out! ;-)x

Newmania said...

I think Mrs N is grateful...Lillith


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