Boris, Wodehouse and Polly

I picked up the Grauniad today , slumming you know ,and I came upon a perversely splenetic slab of anti Boris merde courtesy of the Niece of Lord Carlisle and staggeringly ,the ex Social Affairs editor ( BBC), Polly Toynbee. Boris vouchsafed a few quips in her direction when David Cameron was hitching his star to her “Caravan” ( You remember the end one is “poor people” and it shouldn’t fall off the back,,,etc.). Polly read extensively about “Poor people” ,during her undistinguished career at Badminton Independent school for girls. One can only fall silent in awe when the oracle reveals the rotten state they are in.

Anyway Boris was quick to agree with his old Eton chum that she was wonderful . Lovely woman he said , lovely fastness in Italy to worry about society in , lovely Public schools to turn her brats into more of the same , lovely muddy great carbon footprints made whilst flying to and fro once a week . What he asked ..is not to like ?

Perhaps this mild teasing caused the old volcano to splutter forth its magma but iridescent with rage she clearly was . The title referred to our Blonde Princling as a ‘serial liar ‘, a toff and a sociopath , rather thrilling I thought , give us the goods Poll ?

It turns out that the lying consists of making up a quote when at the Times ( shocking) ,the sociopath was just free floating abuse ,and the toff was scarcely taking a scalpel to the man’s reputation so ..so what ?

Otherwise her glum hectoring affected to understand remarks made in a tone between irony and truth at their mat-paint face value . Thus a reference to the Soviet Union and the NHS is called “ Boris shows contempt for the NHS“. “ I believe passionately in Educational inequality “ becomes contempt for the poor . . This latter remark was during was a defence of abandoning Grammars ,in which he pointed out the presence of setting would provide a ladder for the bright but under privileged.Toynbee , in short , was contextually lying .

Perplexed by this ghastly habit the Left have ,of refusing to see anything funny about themselves or anything else , I happened to come across a defence of PG Wodehouse Boris once wrote .Like Mr. Johnson and so many English men, my sense of humour was irreversibly infected at an early age by this Olympian artisan artist. I also had a mother who located old books at jumble sales from which I consumed collections contemporary Punch stalwarts . Between the wars the lower classes still had Music Hall . (Now we have X factor ….), the middle classes still had a fertile tradition of a gentle and intricately wrought comic short stories.. PG Wodehouse was the greatest of many . He and perhaps the earlier WS Gilbert ,are the only remnants we have of a middling culture our forefathers enjoyed .He is also the funniest man that there has ever been. If you read one ,read the Heart of Goof . Perfection ..incidentally AA Milne comes in for a bit of a ragging therein ( Timothy Bobbit goes hippity hopptity …..)….. See below

Boris deals with the accusation that Plum was Nazi Sympathiser and , like Orwell, calls it for the vindictive rubbish it was . The problem revolves around the broadcasts made from Berlin. I have read them ,and clearly they mean to imply that the British chin was up ,and he was ok . It was an error but then he had no idea what was happening outside. He said himself .” I ought to have seen it was a loony thing to do but I suppose prison life saps the intellect”. In short the man made a mistake . How the wolves fell upon him. He was cast as a wealthy parasite and idle traitor , The roll of shame includes Quintin Hogg who compared him to Lord Haw Haw and Duff Copper who got the BBC to refer to him as Play boy . AA Milne was in on the act as well.( See above)

He was nothing of the sort . He was not of wealthy stock and he lived not only by his talent but by his prodigious work ethic . As for the assertion that he was a Nazi sympathiser , utter nonsense. He was not a political man but as close as he ever came to a statement was in “ the Code of The Woosters “In which the appalling Spode and his black shorts (footer bags ..how perfectly foul) are a burlesque on Mosely …. For once in is career of masterly inactivity Bertie lets another man have a piece of his mind .

“ The trouble with you Spode “ he says ,” is that because you have succeeded in inducing a handful of halfwits to disfigure the London Scene by going around in shorts , you think you’re someone.
You hear them shouting “Heil Spode ! And you imagine it is the Voice of the People That is where you are making your bloomer. What the voice of the people is saying is “look at that frightful ass Spode swanking around in footer bags ! Did you ever see such a perfect perisher “

Let us hope that Ken`s portentous claims to be “serious?” and Toynbee`s po-faced sanctimony reveal them for what they are too. The voice of the people of London will say as one

“ Did you ever in all you puff see such a couple of perfect perishers “