Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Boris, Wodehouse and Polly


I picked up the Grauniad today , slumming you know ,and I came upon a perversely splenetic slab of anti Boris merde courtesy of the Niece of Lord Carlisle and staggeringly ,the ex Social Affairs editor ( BBC), Polly Toynbee. Boris vouchsafed a few quips in her direction when David Cameron was hitching his star to her “Caravan” ( You remember the end one is “poor people” and it shouldn’t fall off the back,,,etc.). Polly read extensively about “Poor people” ,during her undistinguished career at Badminton Independent school for girls. One can only fall silent in awe when the oracle reveals the rotten state they are in.

Anyway Boris was quick to agree with his old Eton chum that she was wonderful . Lovely woman he said , lovely fastness in Italy to worry about society in , lovely Public schools to turn her brats into more of the same , lovely muddy great carbon footprints made whilst flying to and fro once a week . What he asked ..is not to like ?

Perhaps this mild teasing caused the old volcano to splutter forth its magma but iridescent with rage she clearly was . The title referred to our Blonde Princling as a ‘serial liar ‘, a toff and a sociopath , rather thrilling I thought , give us the goods Poll ?

It turns out that the lying consists of making up a quote when at the Times ( shocking) ,the sociopath was just free floating abuse ,and the toff was scarcely taking a scalpel to the man’s reputation so ..so what ?

Otherwise her glum hectoring affected to understand remarks made in a tone between irony and truth at their mat-paint face value . Thus a reference to the Soviet Union and the NHS is called “ Boris shows contempt for the NHS“. “ I believe passionately in Educational inequality “ becomes contempt for the poor . . This latter remark was during was a defence of abandoning Grammars ,in which he pointed out the presence of setting would provide a ladder for the bright but under privileged.Toynbee , in short , was contextually lying .

Perplexed by this ghastly habit the Left have ,of refusing to see anything funny about themselves or anything else , I happened to come across a defence of PG Wodehouse Boris once wrote .Like Mr. Johnson and so many English men, my sense of humour was irreversibly infected at an early age by this Olympian artisan artist. I also had a mother who located old books at jumble sales from which I consumed collections contemporary Punch stalwarts . Between the wars the lower classes still had Music Hall . (Now we have X factor ….), the middle classes still had a fertile tradition of a gentle and intricately wrought comic short stories.. PG Wodehouse was the greatest of many . He and perhaps the earlier WS Gilbert ,are the only remnants we have of a middling culture our forefathers enjoyed .He is also the funniest man that there has ever been. If you read one ,read the Heart of Goof . Perfection ..incidentally AA Milne comes in for a bit of a ragging therein ( Timothy Bobbit goes hippity hopptity …..)….. See below

Boris deals with the accusation that Plum was Nazi Sympathiser and , like Orwell, calls it for the vindictive rubbish it was . The problem revolves around the broadcasts made from Berlin. I have read them ,and clearly they mean to imply that the British chin was up ,and he was ok . It was an error but then he had no idea what was happening outside. He said himself .” I ought to have seen it was a loony thing to do but I suppose prison life saps the intellect”. In short the man made a mistake . How the wolves fell upon him. He was cast as a wealthy parasite and idle traitor , The roll of shame includes Quintin Hogg who compared him to Lord Haw Haw and Duff Copper who got the BBC to refer to him as Play boy . AA Milne was in on the act as well.( See above)

He was nothing of the sort . He was not of wealthy stock and he lived not only by his talent but by his prodigious work ethic . As for the assertion that he was a Nazi sympathiser , utter nonsense. He was not a political man but as close as he ever came to a statement was in “ the Code of The Woosters “In which the appalling Spode and his black shorts (footer bags ..how perfectly foul) are a burlesque on Mosely …. For once in is career of masterly inactivity Bertie lets another man have a piece of his mind .

“ The trouble with you Spode “ he says ,” is that because you have succeeded in inducing a handful of halfwits to disfigure the London Scene by going around in shorts , you think you’re someone.
You hear them shouting “Heil Spode ! And you imagine it is the Voice of the People That is where you are making your bloomer. What the voice of the people is saying is “look at that frightful ass Spode swanking around in footer bags ! Did you ever see such a perfect perisher “


Let us hope that Ken`s portentous claims to be “serious?” and Toynbee`s po-faced sanctimony reveal them for what they are too. The voice of the people of London will say as one

“ Did you ever in all you puff see such a couple of perfect perishers “

13 comments:

CityUnslicker said...

matthew D'Ancona had a good piece on this too.

I think this is a great start though. Humour and happiness will always outshine pessimism and vitriol. ken, Polly and their ilk have it in spades.

Should make for a quick grave digging.

Newmania said...

Wow CU I hadn`t finished it yet ...how pleasing to see you nip in there

Ed said...

I read her article via PT earlier and was in such a rage that I fired off an email to her suggesting that she stood for mayor instead.

Shall I post it here?

Ed said...

Too slow to tell me not to here it is for what it's worth

Dear Ms Toynbee

I have just accidentally read your polemic against Boris, having
clicked erroneously on a link on another website.

Tell me, what is wrong with having gone to a good school? You seem
intelligent and well educated, why do you hold that against anyone
else? Apparently Boris won a scholarship to Eton, and that
scholarship presumably would be available to anyone who met the
requirements, rich or poor. Why would you deny the poor a decent
education just to spite the rich?

You say that 50% affordable housing on every development is a good
thing. Do you think that 50% private housing on every council estate
would be a good thing to or does it just go one way?

Why not run for mayor yourself?

Yours

Newmania said...

Yes and its 70% anyway and in practice 100% plus seperate super pricey flats

The Hitch said...

You have no idea how often I dream of driving down the mall in the back of an open top Merecedes whilst grateful crowds shout "Heil Hitch"
I give the lederhosen a miss but everything else is just so me.
I would sell my soul to have been Hitler , a golden age.

Newmania said...

I think for your soul you`d probably get a week as a bossy traffic warden or a rather officious personell Director.


Thats the market for you ....

Philipa said...

I'm so bloody annoyed at this piece (and thanks for publishing this btw, I mean that) that I couldn't finish it. I'll read it later but got to the contectual lying bit and let me tell you folks it's not the first time. Polly says some good things and writes some good stuff but like most in her profession she can twist facts like strands of hair to further her own prejudices.

Shabby Polly, very shabby.

Newmania said...

Yes she does do some good things P and I was suprised at quite such a tawdry load of nonsense

Steven_L said...

I'm advocating George W Bush for Mayor. He'll mix it up a bit with the 'sympahisers of terror' and freeze Ken's assets.

raincoaster said...

You know, the Guardian appears to have taken the piece down. It was libelous, after all. I just love to see that hypocritical crone spitting nails like that. People tell me she's in Brown's inner circle...well, bully for her. She (and they) are obviously well and truly frightened of Bojo.

Newmania said...

R the spectacle of journos desperately competing to grovel to the new Emporor has been a source of endless amusement recently .
Will Self has especially distinguished himself as a gold plated ocean going creep

raincoaster said...

Really? I know somebody who went to school with him and still likes him, although having read his books I can't imagine why.

Brown is very, very intelligent, I'll give him that. But time will tell on him. Maybe Toynbee is sucking up because she senses she's past her sell-by date and needs to cling lest she be left behind.

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