Sunday, May 06, 2007

You`ve Ruined Everything !

I `m a bit bored with Politics at the moment , this tea leaf reading of the locals leaves me a bit cold ,. ‘Looks promising , who knows , move on ?’ That does it for me anyway . I was looking at the dreadful news of the poor Mc Cann family and I `m sure parents in particular are horrified at the hell they must be in . I have nothing terribly new to say about it but to Mrs . N and I the aspect of it that immediately caught our attention was the fact that they had left three very young children alone . Perhaps it wasn’t` unreasonable , although I wouldn’t have done it myself , but that doesn’t matter now . If she is not returned what price the marriage. Which of them said it was “ alright”…… I wish them luck
By coincidence we had one of those days when you almost wonder if the little darling is worth the agony and I wrote this doggerel as it came out just now . It isn’t really autobiographical just a quick snap of one small part of the picture somewhat exaggerated The spectacle Maddie`s of Loss reminds me how happy I am with what I have . It isn’t always easy though..

I love him of course, but just today
He always seemed to be in the way.
M and I were going to go ..
To the Sacre Coeur , which we used to know
.When joy peeped over the rim of a glass
And I couldn’t keep my hands off her a----
We were two ,and one , and just us ,
But last time we tried it , he made such a fuss…..
So instead we decided to go to the Zoo
“Look Lions ! “, we enthused , as you do.
With all of which he was unimpressed.
So for Thirty three pounds we came to rest
At the Postman Pat ride by the fish and chip place ,
We tried to explain why it wasn’t` a waste ..
which it was . Its just sometimes , I get so tired
He burns up our money so I `m working hard
M is just bored , being mummy all day
( And knows this is something you cannot say)
Then we treat each other so carelessly now
And battalions of grievances quietly grow ,
In readiness for the smallest of things .
Like whose turn it is to look after him
We love him we do , he holds our hearts
In his tight little fist but sometime he ‘starts ‘
When you’ve just had enough , and you say “ For god`s sake “
Don’t we ever , not ever
Deserve a break

And whenever you think you are paranoid and you could relax a bit , something like this happens and you promise inwardly never to let the vigilance slip , not even for a second .

Back to Politics tomorrow


Anonymous said...

Well they got my marriage in the end Mr N. 18 years 2 kids.

Take care.

Newmania said...

I do Mut , I do

Electro Kevin said...

Thanks for this, Numania. We said our prayers in intercessions to-day.

This is a parent's worst nightmare. I feel sick just thinking about this, it could have been us. Hard to describe to those who don't like or want children.

No disrespect to those who don't understand, but it's only when you have a child that life can really really hurt you. I could face any death of my own, but not this.

men's sauna said...

It is the one thing I have nightmares about

Mind you I believe it is true (tho' I have no authoritative source) that the number of child abductions has not changed since they have been recorded. So thank heavens it is rare, and we probably shouldn't always use our fears to deny our children small freedoms because our world is still quite safe

But it's still the one thing that gives me nightmares...

QUASAR9 said...

Funny thing though
The Portuguese Police announced three days ago that they had a good idea who it was (and where he was) - but didn't want to make his name public - so as not to spook him. hmmm

So Newmania, seems things can and do go wrong, things happen in this imperfect world.
People get runover, brutalised, raped, murdered - even in the most unespected places.

I guess with hindsight, if they know who this guy might be, must mean he has a record and perhaps even done Time - but clearly NOT rehabilitated.

Electro Kevin said...

Men's Sauna,

I wrote about your point to a paper a while back.

The abduction figures haven't gone up since records began:

When records began the streets and parks were full of young, unattended children - now kids are watched at every stage, my own boys have only just started to venture out independantly (they are about to turn 9.)

I find it extremely disturbing that, with the presence of such parental vigilance, the figures for abduction haven't actually gone DOWN.

It just proves that this is not a machination of our overactive imaginations as the politicians keep trying to tell us. Things aren't as safe as they used to be especially because a kid roaming alone is such a rare thing and no longer has safety in numbers.

I would say to Gordon Brown, David Cameron or Tony Blair "Things are safe for our kids ? OK - after you then."

Newmania said...

Thats an interesting exchange EK and I must say I am highly suspicious of the assumption that people`s behaviour at the outer edge cannot chnage . When you look at the history of sex crime it is very clear that it is culturally specific. Invented really in the Victorian period .

I will not be taking any chances

Newmania said...

So Newmania, seems things can and do go wrong, things happen in this imperfect world.

Hallo Q had I suggested otherwise then ?I`m not even sure that the desire for perfect safety is altogether sane.

Anonymous said...

Of course perfect safety is impossible- but what is ab acceptable level of risk?

I remember the late great Alan Clark talking about acceptable levels of risk after some train crash on Question Time and he was more or less booed off. Who wants to talk about it in relation to small children?

Duncan Connors said...


You're bored, or just suffering?

But none of the election results have been genuinely debated, certainly not ad nauseum and yet the very next day after a political post on the local elections on your blog, you declare your lack of interest. Tres faux, mon ami, what provoked that I wonder?

I gotta say, you provide a lot of humour for us where I work and indeed, you are starting to gain quite an international following. Only the other week, I was showing someone your website whilst having lunch at Brown University, they really enjoyed it.

However, don't be too flattered by this, because we all know you have a certain tendency to place your at the centre of events, whether you are not involved in them or not. Also, you seem to get a little tetchy and defensive whenever I write on your site, I wonder why that is? Weirdly, I appear to encourage you, Nazi's, prisons, I look forward to your entry on the SNP, with its expected multifaceted and varied vocabulary!

Later skater,


Ps: We have a bet to see how long this stays on your website, go on Paul win me a pony!

Newmania said...

and he was more or less booed off. Who wants to talk about it in relation to small children?

Yes thats a trick though. I admit its a difficult position.

Newmania said...

Duncan…whatever …

On the election results none of what they mean or don’t mean , makes any difference unless you are talking about changes that might be made . The boring bit is the various and endless axiums by which success or otherwise can be predicted. Perhaps students like it .I wouldn’t know

My curiosity was engaged rather more by the class breakdown I saw today which showed the Conservatives not performing ,as we know , in the aspirational lower middle and lower classes. I see Cameron`s task now to keep the Dinner Party apologists whilst attracting the working class support in the North.
I am however greatly encouraged that the Labour Party seem to be entirely clueless about their own vastly greater problems . They may yet simply lose it and Cameron may bank on this. If not however it would imply a change of emphasis . We will no more when Broon attacks .

I have posted often on the Scottish question and no doubt will again

Ratty. said...

Mr Newmania.
I agree, a terrible thing and a nightmare for any parent to contemplate, let alone go through.
Some years ago I dealt with Grandparents looking after their 4 year old grandson for a few hours to give their daughter a bit of a break. They visited the local park and swings but took their eyes of him for half a minute and he was gone. The child drowned in a shallow river about 200 yards from where they were sitting. I shall never forget their faces for as long as I live.

mens sana said...

EK that is a very fair point, and one which I hadn't really considered.

But on the other hand how many child abductions are spontaneous and how many are the result of planning? For most of us, no matter how carefully we think we watch our children, they could be taken from us by a determined abductor, in the same way that no home is completely burglar-proof. However presumably the abductor, as with the burglar, will go for an easy target over a hard one unless there is something they specifically want

I think the risk to children is still far higher from traffic now, and that is the main reason I am very careful about letting children out of the house unaccompanied

Which is not to say that we should not be ever vigilant

james higham said...

I'm glad you all understood this post. I didn't understand a bloody word. But that's just me.

Newmania said...

ratty as a parents for whom having our child was a long frequently draining and at times torturous process,I am always aware of the tiny thread by which everything hangs ...I really can`t think of any response to that , I doubt there is one

Newmania said...

Mens Sana ...the risk from traffic is indeed extremely high and this is the justification of the assulats on out Liberty and pocket made by the government.

The trick is to imagine that there can ever be no risk in a wordl we recognise. Working on building sites is far far more dangerous than crossing the road . Do we cease to build and as for demolition sites it is factor of about ten times as dangerous again.
drving is inherently dangerous and a very good arguement could be nmade for not allowing any driving other than a few essential jouneys . Such an arguement was made before the widespread use of cars .

I doubt anyone would advocate that sop where do you draw the line , 30 mph , 20 mph ...who knows what level of surveillance might not save many lives.

These arguements are often not as they seem and as we all knmow the efort to avoid all risk often creates greater dangers.

Newmania said...

wow I really must type these things in word , sorry

Newmania said...

I didn't understand a bloody word

Nothing to understand James . The Mc Canns left their child who was taken .I was thinking about how you might feel you needed a break on holiday. No interesting insights I `m afraid.

Jenny! said...

I enjoyed the break from politics, but that was a bit depressing.

Newmania said...

I`ll balance it up with something happy next time Jenny . It wasn`t actually true just an exaggeration of one day .We are pretty happy people really

jungle jane said...

As a non-parent it's probably not my place to comment...but it does seem quite remarkable that parents would leave 3 children under the age of 3 alone for a few hours...

Ellee said...

This was a very touching glimpse on parenthood. Don't complain too much, he will soon be planning university, like mine is now, their childhoold really does fly by.

And yes, there are terrifying moments when they slip out of your sight and you worry like mad. Fortunately, those moments have only been fleeting.

Newmania said...

I don`t really complain Ellee i was just wondering why theu would have left their children when they were on holiday . ..and what they must be thiniking now ( As JJ mentioned).

JJ you wouldn`t be aparent yet because its a difficult process. You see , when a man meets awoman and they love eachother very much they sometimes like to...

Sorry times up £5 please

Arthurian Legend said...

N, what is it with Shakespeare and his first clutch of sonnets? I've dwelt on them quite a bit recently, and the man is almost unnaturally obsessed with convincing menfolk to reproduce. Most unlike his other writings.

You succumbed to the wife's demands when you were 40 and so, if I may say so, have had a pretty good deal: being spared kids in your thirties is a greater fortune than that visited on most men who dread their arrival...

Like me, who has been given only 12 months more grace.

Philipa said...

N - what a brilliant brilliant poem. Worthy of Cope most definately (and you know how I like her). You say everything it is, i'm sure, to be a parent, though as you know I'm not married so, due to my decisions, I understand all too well how M 'cannot say'.

Of course I sympathise with the cold sweat of realisation and horror that must have struck those poor people (and good observation N) However, that too was the first thing that struck me - what the hell was the child doing without adult supervision in a hotel room while her parents were out having dinner?!! I would never do that, I know this because I have never done that. When invited for lunch at the House of Lords, as my daughter wasn't at school, she came with me (at 4 yrs old) - we come as a package. My son went to a friends for tea (older) , it was all arranged just in case we were late. I wouldn't leave my children, in their own house, to get the morning paper (what if she puts something in her mouth and starts to choke? And there were younger twins there) What amazed me more was some journalists comment that the mother in this tragedy was more responsible, in the journalists view, than she had ever been. What sort of mother is the bloody journalist for goodness sake?!!!

The thing that annoys me most of all is that it's considered a tragedy for these people, and the people who were stupid enough to let their daughter get into a deep pit of sand (tragedy waiting to happen) yet the children of a hapily married couple, one who had learning difficulties at school, had their children taken away from them and their lives devastated. Did they ever put their children in danger? No! Did they contact the establishement to make sure they were doing the right thing and did they put their childrens welfare first? Yes. Were they EVER a danger to their children? No. Will social services remove the children from parents negligent enough to stick one of them in a pit of sand? No. Will social services remove the children from the negligent parents willing to leave them alone in a hotel room in a foreign country? No.

Why not?

We would have more faith in the establishment, in the government and their agents, if there was any, ANY reason and justice in what they do.

Philipa said...

Art legend - shakespear mostly relies on the lever of vanity to persuade a woman to go to bed with him. The most wonderful example of this in verse, in my opinion, is by Andrew Marvel, but shakespear continues with that trend, that argument, to loosen a womans knicker elastic. He just wants to get laid sweetie :-)

Newmania said...

Like me, who has been given only 12 months more grace.

Au contraire AL I always wanted children and the delay was due to a divorce and great difficulties the second time around . I didn`t mean to moan, I am delighted everyday with my good fortune . It is only one aspect of it and not to be taken to seriously .

I meant to be a lot younger. I hope your life goes a lot more smoothly than mine but if it does , don’t knock it .

(I doubt, in any case, that the delicious Mrs AL will want for other willing knights to joust at the tourney on her behalf if you are not in the mood )

Newmania said...

P firstly I am not a"poet" . the odd attempt at "versifying is the summit of my essaying.Otherwise I think what you say is interesting and new to me at least .
I have always like your stuff on women`s issues and I wish you would do more of it .

Did you notice ratty`s post. Everything you fear and it can happen, god knows what it was like trying to "deal " with those people . What could you possibly say ?

Newmania said...

CYNIC Phillipa .

AL . Haven`t looked for years. Staggering to think WS would have been a mainstay of the Literary cannon even if he had not written plays.I must get them out

CityUnslicker said...

'invented in the victorian age'

N- bejesus man, what are you on about?

Rape and pillage was the way of civilisation UNTIL the vicotiran age, when the idea of romantic love first came to have meaning for most civilised periods. becuase of this then the idea of sex crimes were invented.

Women had barely any right sin any country until the 20th century.

You are much better at poetry, fantasitic in fact.

Electro Kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Electro Kevin said...


As so often that was brilliant.

My wife and I have examined everything we have done with our children and everthing we thought when they were young. We would never have left our boys like that either.

Would these parents have been treated less deferentially had they been common chavs ?

Newmania said...

Rape and pillage was the way of civilisation UNTIL the vicotiran age,

CU Romantic love was invented by the medieval Romancers and the word love aquired its connotations then. Sex crime in the sense of rape was exceedingly rare outside war until the Victorian period and the criminal records are there for all to see " See Colin Wilsons history of crime". Of course war was common vut there is a profound difference.
Also the nature of sex crime did not aquire its close relationship with the forbidden until urbanisation and the romantic Victorian period .If you read the diaries of Boswell the Novels of Richardson and then the increasing pornoraphy of the industrial age a change is dicernible from a healthy appetite satisfied to fetishistic maintenance of perpetual hunger .The sex motivated serial killer begins with Jack the Ripper.

We cannot know but I am nervous of the assumption that there no more to worry about now than there was before. I suspect peadophiles are increasingin number of also feel bolder and validated.

Au contraire ,I just do the odd verse but I am brilliant on sex crime about which I know oodles.


Philipa said...

You know oodles about sex crime N? I hope you're joking as we have had this argument before - no means NO not an invitation to rape. And why are you defending yourself? I didn't accuse you of being a poet, I said you'd written poetry and you had. What else would you call it? And as for Marvell and WS, I'm afraid I'm right honey, not me being cynical then but them, as many many men are.

N - I did see Ratty's v sad tale but think there's a difference between losing sight of an infant in a busy park for a moment and actually closing the door and walking away. I'm not saying accidents don't happen.

Electro-kev said "Would these parents have been treated less deferentially had they been common chavs ?" - exactly kev!

Newmania said...

no means NO not an invitation to rape

I`m certain I did not argue with you about that P.

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