Sunday, April 29, 2007

Its a Brown Thing

Ian Dale was complaining ,or something ,that his rather childish article about women voting for sexy men had received a fair amount of adverse comment . My impression from his own blog was that it was taken insufficiently seriously for any critical comment to be worth the bother. Visual details can make a difference though ; Nixon famously blew it on the TV by sweating and I am pretty certain the Broon has been getting hand mouth and smile lessons from makeover specialist akin to Red Adair.
Iain is also right that people engage at different levels and to some politics is chiefly emotional response or simply a background noise .Fashion statements like the Cameron moving fringe or the woeful Hague baseball cap ; they all carry their message semiotically Tony Blair’s make up has becomes increasingly cakey and if his regime ten years ago has been expanded he must be a visual work of fiction by now .
Let me just give you a couple of examples of how a visual cue can change the way you look at things . Did you know for example that the Elizabethans usually worse brightly coloured ruffs and white was for formal occasions hence its appearance in portraits. London Elizabethans were not pre puritans but rather more like the riotously energetic medieval peoples of similiar European Cities . The antiquated gaudy plumage of Medieval Europe ca still be seen on holidays and feast days . Similarly, Greek statues were not the cool classic white we know . Originally they were ornamented and brightly painted. The Greeks were not as the living embodiment of a platonic ideal invented by Victorians . They were a wilder sensuous perhaps more Asiatic people.
Richard Little-John thought Cherie was part New Agey, part Bunny Boiler within seconds of meeting her. Going on appearance is often called prejudice but its an awkward fact that our prejudices are so often right . I like David Cameron .On the other hand ,I would rather saw off my buttocks , varnish them and sell them in a provincial gift shop than spend fifteen minutes in a smoke free pub with the Lying Scotsman. Yes its his politics but also I just don’t like him.

I don’t like the look of him.

50 comments:

jungle jane said...

Cherie looks just crazy Stella on Eastenders.

About those buttocks - can i have the name of the provincial gift shop? I must have them. I'll probably scoop them out and use them as an ashtray...

Electro Kevin said...

It certainly seems to be more the case nowadays. I'm sure Blair's boyish charm was part of his allure. But how recently did photogenics come into British politics ? Was it at the time of John Major ? Margaret Thatcher ?

Is this a quality that Nu Labour made into an election issue ?

In truth I'm sure that I'd be won over in Tony Blair's company - it's his likeability on a superficial level which has allowed him to get away with murder. No more of this please - in fact, after this short spell with the make-up box I am now averse to imagery in politics and view it with suspicion.

Newmania said...

Hallo JJ you are a one aren`t you. There is one really scary picture on your blog I nearly fell off my seat.

The butocks are yours for the askig but I warn you ,many opinions have exuded from between those steel orbs

Electro Kevin said...

Oh - first bid on your buttocks, I need a new bike stand.

Newmania said...

Little John was saying exactly that in the Mail EK . Blair , he said had never disagreed with him once . He`s a salesman, no more

jungle jane said...

John Major and Margaret Thatcher photogenic???

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*curls up in a ball crying with laughter*

Newmania said...

John Major I grant you, but Mrs T surely a glorious exmaple of womanhood .

Anyway she saved the country so she can be as ugly as she likes. You JJ look interesting , your picture is like a Album cover for music that is dark and yet romantic .

Are you dark and romantic ?

Electro Kevin said...

Mmmmm Margaret Thatcher - lovely ancles.

JJ - that was precisely my point, MT and JM weren't bothered about image.

Hey, N - 9.30 Sunday morning and 8 entries already.

mary jane rotten-crotch said...

I'd give Brown one.

Newmania said...

Miss Rotten Crotch the fact that some women have no taste ands will put out when there seems no earthly point is a good thing overall .

Handy for me anyway so you are welcome.

Brown thought really ? Imagine what his breath is like

Newmania said...

EK I am off to me mums but later i have been planning a long boring diatribe about crime

Ratty. said...

John Major I grant you, but Mrs T surely a glorious exmaple of womanhood .
Joking apart. I met Margaret Thatcher - she possessed a charm and instant magnetic quality that a lot of women just do not have. It wasn't 100% sexual but dare I say bordering on it.

Steven_L said...

You'd all do well to remember that 'politics is showbusiness for ugly people'.

They are all mingers. Never talk to a good looking girl about politics if you want her to get her knickers off.

Electro Kevin said...

Was Jonathon Woss wong to have asked David Camerwon if he had carnal thoughts about lady Thatcher ?

More to the point, would David Camerwon have been indecent if he had ?

Iain Dale said...

First of all, I wasn't complaining. If you write a column you expect to take flak. It's actually a sign that it has provoked people to think. Far worse would be for there to be no comment at all.

Still, at least I didn't fall into the trap of ... well, you can guess..

Lilith said...

If being sexy had anything to do with getting elected we would only have had one politician in the last 50 years: Tony Benn!

Lilith said...

And how do you explain Michael Fabricant?

james higham said...

You couldn't ... er ... point me in the direction of the vendor where I could pick up one of those severed buttocks, could you?

I have a feeling it could be valuable in future years.

Newmania said...

Wow ! Lord Dale of Blogland has commented on my blog. It reminds me of the old joke about a guy who begs Frank Sinatra to come over and say hallo , just to impress his girlfriend.

When Frank turns up he says
" Will you piss off we`re talking "

Now she`s really impressed. Should have done the same with the Dale meister but in fact I grovel in an disgusting fawning way.

Sorry Iain no you weren`t complaining but it flowed better that way and it didn`t occur to me that you might look. I did think it was significantly worse than your others and even if its true you will get no credit for that sort of thing.


I wonder if my guess is right .I think so

Newmania said...

Oh Lilith don`t be silly you mean Tony Bennet the crooner and pop sensation . Tony Benn is a silly old git .Tsk tsk

james higham said...

OK, the ad's now up. Give it a day or two, Newmania.

Philipa said...

F*** me!! Tony Benn???!!! You have GOT to be kidding Lilith! When Boris Johnson and Jesse Norman are still in politics?! Micheal Gove may be slightly built but he's electrifying in person and could take Benn on. Tony Benn? nah, Enoch Powell was just as gritty and Norman Tebbitt had better politics. Che Guevara was about as left wing but better looking and sadly a bit dead and smelly.

Newmania - I am thoroughly embarrassed at your pathetic attempt to appease a person you have never met, and sincerely pleased I'm not the only one.

Steven_L said "Never talk to a good looking girl about politics if you want her to get her knickers off." - so are you saying I'm a minger or just that women with a brain aren't cheap or easy lays? Yup, I can buy that!

Newmania said...

Philla are you saying then that if someone wanted you to throw aside your encumbring apparell and grant someones wish ,talking about poltics would be the best way ? Funny that because I seem to recall talking about nothing else when I met you and to no avail whatsoever.....you lie with a forked tongue young lady. Your knickers are glued on with industrial super glue


I was once given a wish by a Geni and now I have a head several sizes to small for my body. Well I did ask for a little head

Bum tsssssssssk Ithenku

Newmania said...

am thoroughly embarrassed at your pathetic attempt to appease a person you have never met, and sincerely pleased I'm not the only one.


Well his article was a bit childish although what he said is probably true. Its just so obvious that its hardly worth saying and the tone wasn`t quite right sosmehow . The others were better anyway

Newmania said...

am thoroughly embarrassed at your pathetic attempt to appease a person you have never met, and sincerely pleased I'm not the only one.


Well his article was a bit childish although what he said is probably true. Its just so obvious that its hardly worth saying and the tone wasn`t quite right sosmehow . The others were better anyway

Steven_L said...

'so are you saying I'm a minger or just that women with a brain aren't cheap or easy lays? Yup, I can buy that!' (philipa)

You have kids, so you have to take some sort of an interest in politics I guess.

I assure you that not many girls my age up here like to talk about politics. And if they do it's because they are socialists.

Philipa said...

Oh yeah socialists, do they ever get laid?? They're so worthy aren't they? I think they get very angry about some cause or other due to sexual frustration - they just don't get good sex.

Later on in life I think they call this moral virtue.

Try the welsh.

PS: bet you can't guess my nickname at uni?

Newmania said...

Steven why not join the Conservative Party there are lots of girls around . I fact the Future lot do nothing much else except hold wet tee shirt contests and so on.You cannot miss
Or pretend to be a lefty get layed and move on . I have a 'friend' who did just that for ages.

mutleythedog said...

Philipa said...

Oh yeah socialists, do they ever get laid?? They're so worthy aren't they? I think they get very angry about some cause or other due to sexual frustration - they just don't get good sex.

Later on in life I think they call this moral virtue.

Try the welsh.

PS: bet you can't guess my nickname at uni?


ooh ooh ! Me first! Town Bike -not too easy ...er Whorey Tory? - Just a guess -how about Shaggers? erm is it really Philip??? Man thats creepy

Philipa said...

Obviously mutley ain't getting laid either!

mutleythedog said...

Philipa said...

Obviously mutley ain't getting laid either!

8:5


No you are right -apart from one near miss with a she male dwarf...- I had to "finish" alone- where do you live Ms P - do you like fish? Just wondering....

mutleythedog said...

By the way - I have tried the welsh **shudders**

Frobisher said...

Back to the original post - didn't Margaret T. have a radical imagine change? she had snaggly teeth and a awful voice - then all change! It's nothing new.

Michael Portillo gropped a friend of mine and gave him his phone no.

CityUnslicker said...

N - you need to expand on how the fashionista look of Islington has had an effect on the current set of elections and on your own plans for your mayoral candidacy. What will you wear on the big day?

jungle jane said...

Hannnng on. Don't mayors wears oversized black smocks and large bling pendants?

N? Tell me, my lovely...have you ever been down to a fancy dress shop and hired a Mayor's outfit? hmmmmm?

Philipa said...

Do I like fish??

I dread to think where that question came from.

Newmania said...

Mutley are you being cheeky to Phillipa I imagine her nickname at uni was "Unbelievably beautiful Phillipa "

* Cheesy Grin*

Newmania said...

Frobo Frobo guard the ring don`t give the ring away......eh what ...og just day dreaming.Where were we? Image thats it

Edward Heath was an enthusiastic cottager( whatever that means I seriously do not know ) He had to chnage his image to a "Confirmed Bachelor"

Frobie it did move up a notch when Blair got in. Mrs. T tried to present her convictions to best advantage . Mr. TB has none .

Its different and its all getting worse

Newmania said...

CU I shall be heavily disguised as a serious candidate to be announced . Only you and I will know the truth ( I `ll wink)

Newmania said...

JJ last time I went to a fancy dress Party it was a Casablanca themed one and I went as a Nazi.......must give that uniform back some day.

Oh no since then Mrs N and I went as a Pimp and a Ho ...that was pretty damn good if I say so myself

Which I do

Philipa said...

N - *sigh* flattery will get you everywhere, but I think it best to keep my moist excitement to myself when discussing politics with a married man, however big his majority
* cheesy grin*

Newmania said...

Details details P...

Steven_L said...

'Steven why not join the Conservative Party there are lots of girls around' (newmania)

Up here in Northumberland I'm not sure there are too many girls in the tory party. I have been thinking about joining for a while now though. Maybe I'll give it a go.

Tory girls seem very posh to me though - expensive tastes. In fact if you check out all the political party website George Galloway seems to have the most good looking female followers.

Newmania said...

Tory women are terrific Steven and nowadays likely to be smart as well as foxy.

ALL WOMEN LOVE MONEY

For goodness sake learn to live with it . Lie to them . Thast what my"friend" used to do

Raedwald said...

Brown, as a good Scots presbyterian, used to wash his hair regularly once a month. When his image makeover consultants suggested daily washing might garner him more kudos with English voters, he must have been torn between his hunger for power and his concern over the cost of the shampoo.

He did not however give way to them over his chewed fingernails. They suggested acrylic 'falsies' that could be superglued over his ragged finger stumps, but he found this restriction too painful to bear.

I'll bet he still smells of mothballs and dirty underwear, though.

I too would rather have red-hot needles pushed into my eyeballs than share ten minutes in his company.

Newmania said...

I hope I never get in your bad books R...sometimes the blunderbuss sometimes an elegant coup de grace.....always great entertainment

mens sana said...

Which lying scotsman in particular: Brown, Blair, Reid, Darling, Alexander, Falconer, Browne...did I forget anyone?

Newmania said...

They say its because they were down to the heartland areas in the 80s MS which is a lie but anyway looks a bit sick now with Scotland leaving for pretty much any alternative..ie the SNP.

Not that I object especially to the SNP

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Hello, Mr N. Liked the history lesson - I didn't know that. I don't like the look of Gordy either but I did think the pastel ties he took to wearing a couple of months ago were an improvement. Now they have disappeared, though. I suppose dress says a lot about your authoritativeness [can't spell it]: remember all the fuss years ago [no, you're too young!] when M Foot wore an anorak to the Remembrance Day ceremony? He said, with some justification, that the important thing was that he was there and then went on to blame his wife for the unfortunate choice of clothing! The thing is people are very sensitive about it and feel easily slighted.

Anonymous said...

dear dear.

finding it difficult to come up with original things to say ? you could at least have attributed the "slicing your buttocks" quote to the genuinely original Will Self, when he used this phrase on Radio 4 with the sainted Fi Glover.

pp

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