Politicians should be straight with us.

Well blow me if it isn’t raining men today, and more particularly men who like men. I must admit, I am one of those embarrassing heterosexuals who find them alternately fascinating and hilarious .I cannot ever recall meeting a gay man I didn’t like, so I hope they can put up with me .

On the other hand the behaviour of Greg Barker is quite disgusting and I don’t mean his little game of Lady Chatterly with Mr. Brush Strokes.

I have slightly amended the following plot summary and I imagine this is much the sort of vainglorious self fantasising Mr. Barker was up to. I wonder who was decorating whose interior ?

Lady Gregina`s Lover ( a story of unbridled passion across the class divide)

Lady Gregina Barker enjoys an extremely passionate relationship with the interior decorator on their estate. The truth is eventually uncovered and the novel ends with a sense of fulfilment for both Gregina and the decorator , although the situation is never fully resolved. The story and its sentiments suggest that the sexual relationship is the most profound of all and that it may be debased either by treating it lightly or by viewing it with shame ….its so beautiful I could cry !

He is, of course, not the first gay man to lie to the electorate, and while I can, to some extent sympathise, lying is lying, and only politicians think the rules do not apply to them . A particularly odious liar is ,“ nice”, Simon Hughes, who is about as nice as the rest of the Lib Dums. Let us take a trip down memory lane to his early career ……………through the round window….

“Hughes was first elected to Parliament in the Bermondsey by-election of February 24, 1983. The byelection was described by Gay News as "the dirtiest and most notorious byelection in British political history" because of the slurs against the character of the Labour candidate and gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell by various opposition campaigners. The Liberal Campaign leaflet described Hughes as the "straight choice". Hughes won the seat with 57.7% of the vote.”

Yes yes I know he apologised, but if I were Peter Tatchell, I would want him tarred and feathered, nonetheless.

To tell you the truth I have little sympathy for Celeste Barker, the wronged wife . I do not believe for one second that she managed to live with a man for that long and have no notion that he might, one day, snog the handy man . Oh no, her protestations that it was all out of the blue, ring false . Those of us that are married will know that you can hardly hide the odd cigarette . She knew , take my word for it . Another wife that knew, is the utterly implausible Tessa Jowell

Remember in the 1990s David Mills the hubbie acted as legal adviser to Signor Berlusconi, during the acquisition of Mediaset. The prosecution at that time , claimed that Signor Berlusconi set up a scheme that helped him to evade more than £40 million in tax, and kept a little something for himself . Every single married woman in the country must have laughed themselves sick, at Tessa`s ridiculous claim to be “shocked” . She knew , take my word for it , she bloody knew.

So if we know they knew , then what exactly were they up to ?Well in the case of Tessa it was of course spending the booty and having a good time, but for Celeste it’s a bit more complex.

There are many fake marriages in public life, and the most obvious of all of them is Gordon Brown`s. Have you seen the awful pictures of his off-the-peg, family . Try as he might to look fatherly he remains a reanimated corpse. The accessory wife is just a little something he picked up for his image . The Barker marriage was a deal they did between them, and to admit to it is probably more shameful to Celeste than the news of Greggy`s painterly high jinx. I feel sorry for the children, who have been unwitting extras in this farce. My suggestion is that they are immediately removed to the kind and affluent protection of Madonna .

Of all the press pickings, the most tragic was this from Georgina Harrison, the mother in law. She tried ,desperately, to make sense of the corruption of human feeling involved.
“Its sad”, she said ,“But its not unusual any more . Its modern life isn’t it ? Men think they can get away with it now …” No Georgina the vast majority of men have absolutely no inclination to do any such thing even if they could get away with it .. Poor woman..

So what are we to make of gay men in public life .Nothing much actually, today there is a gay liar in the news, tomorrow there will be a straight one . Only yesterday we were chatting about the world’s `s ugliest politician ,there was ,of course, no denying the urgent claim of the Deputy Prime minister. A corrupt lecher batting on our side and there are many more.

For the Conservative Party there is a more serious problem , the Mayoral fix is in for Nic Boles, the lifetime Policy wonk and “out” Etonian Cameroon . Ken will make mince meat of him. You see, for gay men there is a problem. They are tolerant of us, and we are tolerant of them, but there are far more of us.

This is fortunate for everyone involved, otherwise where would all the little gay chaps come from. Generally sspeaking, it would matter no more than having red hair. In London though, there is one big issue they cannot address. Families.

Families are under desperate pressure. The cost of housing requires a high income ,and usually two, so the marginal affect of Nu Labs wicked taxation has nailed us all to the budgeting wall. When Nic Boles opens his mouth to speak on this subject, Ken Livingstone,and everyone else, will chorus ;“What do you know about it?”.

In fact he may well go on to ask what Nic Boles knows about anything, as a privileged life avoider. This will be the height of hypocrisy as King Ken is himself is the possessor of an accessory family and a long career ,starting in Lambeth, of “public service”. We need hardly say that a teeny problem of this sort will not dissuade the great fraud from punching low, whenever the ref`s back is turned.

Sorry Mr. Boles, but whatever your qualities, you are absolutely not the right man for the job. You will do the Conservative cause great harm (.We must hope he decides to take the safe seat his connections will provide, but the appearance of a Boles Bus at Bournemouth is not a promising sign.)


The Conclusion:

The conclusion oh best beloved is this . Gays are no better or worse than anyone else . Politicians are a lot worse than anyone else and live hermetically sealed lives to prevent them or us noticing it .
Nic Boles is the wrong man for London now, but like all minorities, gay men and women, should have a proper representation in as much as have a specific agenda, which is not much. Tessa Jowell , Greg Barker , Simon Hughes , John Prescott and many more are liars In short the passionate story of Lady Gregina`s Lover changes nothing at all.


P. S.
The single most surprising thing is that Tony Blair continues to stomach Jowell in the cabinet. This is one of the many signs that he has entirely ceased to care about the country .

PPS I will be interested to see if the one man Conservative tidal wave Justin Hinchcliffe makes of this,if he bothers . Now there is a gay man who is straight with the voter.